in the tub
i like to sit in the bathtub with my clothes on when i'm sad or upset. i think its weird. but its always where i want to go. and that's where i am now. i decided that it has something to do with being in an enclosed space. something about feeling tight into the things around you. its probably really psychotic. its probably where all the people in the crazy house go when they aren't happy. probably. either the bathtub or the closet. i'm such a freak.
i wonder if you ever really get a second chance. if people will ever stop judging you based on who you used to be. five years is long time. but i know that's not who i am. i know. but how do you make someone believe you? they can't. and for that matter, i have trouble with the opposite side too. although i do think i am open to letting people not be who they were at one time and in one place.
maybe its supposed to be a lesson. maybe i'm supposed to let things go better. maybe i'm supposed to see how it feels. i don't know. i just want to be listened to. and i want to have things be a possibility without judgment.
on another note, there were a lot of high schoolers out today. i'm glad i'm not still one of them. i think the main reason i dislike it is because i assume other people think i'm in high school. and i want them to know i'm not. it really doesn't have anything to do with them. its all my own insecurity. funny how that works out isn't it?
oh geez.
and it all ends here. i'm gonna get up from this. and i'm gonna regroup myself. haha! for lack of a better word. and i'm gonna work on being cheerful. i doubt it will work but there's no point sitting here all night.
alright. here i go.
i wonder if you ever really get a second chance. if people will ever stop judging you based on who you used to be. five years is long time. but i know that's not who i am. i know. but how do you make someone believe you? they can't. and for that matter, i have trouble with the opposite side too. although i do think i am open to letting people not be who they were at one time and in one place.
maybe its supposed to be a lesson. maybe i'm supposed to let things go better. maybe i'm supposed to see how it feels. i don't know. i just want to be listened to. and i want to have things be a possibility without judgment.
on another note, there were a lot of high schoolers out today. i'm glad i'm not still one of them. i think the main reason i dislike it is because i assume other people think i'm in high school. and i want them to know i'm not. it really doesn't have anything to do with them. its all my own insecurity. funny how that works out isn't it?
oh geez.
and it all ends here. i'm gonna get up from this. and i'm gonna regroup myself. haha! for lack of a better word. and i'm gonna work on being cheerful. i doubt it will work but there's no point sitting here all night.
alright. here i go.