Brittana Moments [Laryngitis-Journey to Regionals]
More Brittana Moments for those interested.
***
LARYNGITIS [1x18]
This was all over the place. I think the best way to sum it up is confusion. Brittana spend time together and obviously eye!sex but despite that they feel…splintered and fractured. Yeah I’m so confused I feel a strange and sudden need to quote Katy Perry, because Brittana are a total plastic bag drifting aimlessly through the episode, their house of cards one blow from caving in. Also Santana is so gay and don’t even like boys.
Santana’s reaction to the hairless Puck is…heartless and kinda priceless. She just does not care one iota about this guy. I seriously doubt she even likes him. Look at her complete disregard to him in his moment of need and compare that to how she interacts with Brittany (or just look at the photo above). The blonde falters or shows a weakness and she is there, all over the situation, protecting and comforting. But this is Puck, this is one of the other guys and she couldn’t care less.
I like how she immediately draws parallels to Samson though. Which makes me ponder her home and heritage once more. It has been mentioned before, the fact that she is of Latin decent is hardly ever touched on and during the spirituality episode she was conspicuously absent. However if we are to draw religious assumptions based on her ethnicity Catholicism would be a good bet. Which would also explain why she is so familiar with the Samson story. Yet we’ve seen her bedroom and I have a hard time seeing how a Jah Babylon poster would fit into a Catholic home. All of this is making me realise that I feel like I have a pretty good understanding of Santana emotionally, but very little understanding of where she comes from culturally and socially. I’m kinda hoping they give us more of a glimpse into her family as they further develop her storyline.
Back to the episode and Puck’s actions. He decides he needs to regain some of his popularity and that the best way to do so would be to date a cheerleader. Rather than go after Santana with whom he clearly has had some kind of relationship he goes after Mercedes instead. Because on some level he knows he will never be able to date Santana? Or is her popularity sinking below Mercedes‘?
While Santana is annoyed by the Puck/Mercedes debacle Brittany is off exploring new relationships and Kurt’s mouth. After having suffered a small identity crisis Kurt decides to give heterosexuality a try and fails as miserably as Santana. Brittany however is more than willing to help him experiment and the two briefly “date”. Second time in a short timespan Brittany attaches herself to a person she clearly has no future with.
I seriously do not think Santana sees Kurt as a threat, but it should be pointed out that she doesn’t actually become pro-actively aggressive towards Mercedes until after Brittany has made out with him. I don’t know how linked those two occurrences are, but I’m gonna pretend very. Puck/Mercedes is a thorn in Santana’s side, but not much more. Until the time her girl flirts in front of her and then end up dating said boy. Suddenly there is all this anger inside of Santana, anger she then decides to direct at Mercedes rather than the true source and cause of it.
The Boy Is Mine performance highlights that perfectly. Mercedes sings to Puck, indirectly trying to win him over by musically seducing him. Santana treats Puck as an inanimate object, a prop and her attention is undividedly focused on Mercedes. When the duet is finished her anger continues bubbling and they almost come to blows before Santana storms out of the room. For her that song wasn't about Puck, it was about finding an outlet for the feelings she won't admit she has in relation to Brittany.
***
DREAM ON [1x19]
I have a very vivid imagination, but even I find it difficult to create subtext out of nothing. Even though many will argue I do.
But since there is nothing in this episode on account of them not appearing in more than brief group scenes, lets take the time to linger on what personality differences those blink and you’ll miss it appearances reminded us of.
Bryan Ryan gives bi-polar a face and keeps going back and forth between ultimate doom and gloom and extreme enthusiasm and giddy happiness. At one point his personal joy makes him funnel funds from the Cheerios into glee club and as a result has bought them all kinds of presents. Brittany’s reaction is to mirror Bryan Ryan’s, childlike enthusiasm in other words. Santana on the other hand holds back, silently judging with a frown on her face. Is this just part of Santana’s personality or is she perhaps too familiar with being bought off? Perhaps this is not the first time she’s on the receiving end of a guilty conscious resulting in lavish gifts. Parental neglect being smoothed over with money?
At the end of the episode their reactions are again spot on for who they are as characters and how they always seem to fall at complete different ends of the spectra. Will reveals that he has trades his dream for a chance at theirs and that glee continues on. Brittany’s face is open and friendly. And next to her Santana sits as the perfect picture of closed off and guarded. Complete ends of the spectrum, but that’s why they work so well together in my eyes.
And to finish off I’m just gonna sit here for a moment and ponder what could possibly have been written on their “dream notes”. What are their biggest dreams? What keeps them awake at night? What gets them out of bed in the morning? What is the dream beyond all dreams that linger in their respective minds?
No idea, but I would not be the least bit surprised if whatever they may be, that they would fit seamlessly into one another.
***
THEATRICALITY [1x20]
For once we get bullying and Brittana. Progression or perhaps just a fluke.
Either way, Tina is put in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. Her sense of style and way of personal expression is once more questioned and critiqued. This time by Principal Figgins. I’m as much of a fan of the homogeneous collective as the next socialist, but this kind of fashion fascism is not ok. Especially not when it is based on ignorant fear. But I guess that is besides the Brittana point.
As a result Tina is in dire need of a new style to identify with. The glee kids help her brainstorm. Santana automatically suggests Biker Chick. I am amazed and in awe of what a big gaybo this character actually is. Of course she would be the one to suggest the leather and hogs. She might not be much of an Indigo Girls fan, but long before tptb decided she was to be a lesbian she was already a stereotypical dyke. I guess I shouldn’t, but I do love it so.
The rest of the episode is the usual buffet of looks and touching. A few of the more noticeable occasions during the Bad Romance performance and what comes before it. The look on Santana’s face as Brittany tells Rachel, “you look terrible. I look awesome”. Equal parts amusement and adoration, such a stark contrast to how she looks at the rest of the gleeks. But love will do that to you.
Oh, also their costumes. I like how everyone constantly keeps playing with their complementary yin/yang nature. This time it was the costume departments turn to do their bit by dressing Brittany in gloves made of what appears to be the same lace-y material that so gorgeously clings to Santana’s every curve. Obviously those costumes are not made my High School kids, but still to add one of those small touches of realism to it puts a smile on my face. Because even though we never got to see it, you know they spent their evenings “cuddling” and working on their costumes together. So of course it makes sense Brittany would use some of Santana’s left-over lace to make a pair of gloves. Also on a more abstract level it is a nice little kick to have Santana’s body and Brittany’s hands linked like that. Becoming one, metaphorically joined and indistinguishable. It’s kinda erotic, don’t you think?
Then there is the actual performance. Others have discussed it lengthier and smarter, but it must be mentioned again. Santana’s lines in that song, “I want your love and I want your revenge. I don’t want to be friends”. She really should have been more careful for what she wished for. Because it all came true. Every angsty syllable of it.
Also the dancing. You know, the hands-hands in all the right places- bit of the dancing. I totally understand why Brittany’s low-dipping hand only made it to the promo and not the actual episode. Because that move I must say is dangerously close to exhibitionism. Not that I mind. I’m a fangurl, that’s made up of like 50% voyeurism anyhow. Still makes my jaw drop a little. Also compare how Santana is holding Kurt’s arm at a distance, making sure he doesn’t accidentally boob-grab, but lets Brittany’s roam her valleys and peaks uninhibited. Mmm-hm.
Okay, lets make that 57% voyeurism.
***
FUNK [1x21]
Vocal Adrenaline does its best to throw New Directions into a funk. Among other things they end up trashing their choir room with toilet paper causing general mayhem. As you should be used to by now, keep your eyes on Brittana, they are perfection. Santana is unfazed as she meticulously grooms her nails (preparation for a weekend out of town with her girl?) whereas Brittany tries to put the toiler paper back on the roll. Such small things, but perfect reminders of who these two characters are and how they differ.
Sue then storms in and raves on about winning, poking and prodding Will into a fight. As she mentions Nationals a wide grin spreads across Brittany’s face as she looks down at Santana. Oh the fanfic material. Those two sharing a room unchaperoned. So much goodness, most of it of the pwp variety, but who am I to judge?! Why would I want to judge!?
Later on Will decides it is time they put their funk to good use, by doing an actual funk number. When they finish up, Brittana who obviously sit next to each other pinkie link as they stroll out of the room. The funk really doesn’t apply to them. They are closer than ever.
And when Quinn gets up to sing her song with the Unwed Mothership Connection (for some reason I feel like they might also be responsible for cattle mutilation and anal-probing) we get another moment. There are several kids sitting between them, but they might as well not exists as Brittana takes a moment to sex each other up. “I’d get her pregnant” - I’ll say.
I really enjoy seeing the Cheerios reduced to rubble when they lose Sue’s leadership. Santana and her creys in the hallway are awesome with a gentle undertone of heartbreak. And I can’t really make out what she says, but it sounds as if she is crying for her daddy between the sobs. Something that can be interpreted in so many ways that I don’t even know where to start. Makes me once again long to meet Mr and Mrs Lopez though.
But Santana’s reaction to losing her Cheerios persona continues to trigger feelings of satisfied awesomeness in me. She has briefly been robbed of that mask she so desperately hides behind and for a moment her true and vulnerable self peaks out. Turns out her true self has perfected the baby-dyke slump. You know the one where you sprawl out across a chair, totally dominating it and even though you might not be packing, your legs still act as if you were.
And unsurprisingly Sue and the Cheerios win Nationals. Sue gets interviewed by the press and in the background Brittana frolic. Santana’s automatic response to the victory being to jump into Brittany’s open arms and wrapping her legs tightly around the blonde’s waist. They basically got further in that background scene than they did in Duets. Not sure how I should feel about that. But better focus on the positive, so I love this scene!
Final hurrah is yet another pinkie link as Sue dumps her trophy in Will’s apartment. They stroll in behind their coach, fingers neatly linked together. It’s so pretty when they get to be together like this. No distractions, no drama, just them loving each other so hard at the back of the bus that Rosa Parks will give up her seat to bring them to the front.
Gods how I love Heya for making Brittana so damn real.
***
JOURNEY TO REGIONALS [1x21]
There is nothing spectacular in this episode, but their interactions have reached a stage of comforting familiarity which in itself is kinda extraordinary. Over the span of the season they’ve had their ups and downs, but at this point in time and space their relationship feels strangely stable. The dysfunction is still there, both in them as a couple and individuals, but in this suspended moment all you can feel is their love for each other.
There is so much drama and musical glitz in this episode that the first Brittana moment doesn’t come until New Directions are nervously waiting to hear the winners of Regionals be announced. Their hands are held together tightly, but Brittany needs even more reassurance and with her free hand grabs hold of their entwined hands and pull them close to her chest. Where they spend the rest of the scene chillaxing. Santana don't mind, so neither should you.
To Sir With Love once more hands Santana a very fitting verse. With tears in her eyes she sings, “A friend who taught me right from wrong. And weak from strong. That’s a lot to learn”. There’s no way I can’t interpret those lines as being in relation to Brittany, and I think Santana is fully aware of the parallels herself, hence the tears. I kinda adore this moment, because it is hopeful angst. She is slowly learning the lessons of how to keep her heart open. Of how to allow herself to feel. At the same time, this is a lot to learn. It won’t happen over night. It won’t even happen over the summer break. No, this is a journey we will see stretch far into season 2 and most likely continue on long into season 3.
Before glee club Santana hated everyone in that room (she always breaks my heart, because the way she emphasis everyone you know she includes herself in that hatred), but this confessions shows us that she has slowly begun melting parts of the iceberg erected in her soul. And even though she does not care to admit it, to herself or anyone else, she has actually turned hate into love. At least in relation to one person in that room. It’s just so frustrating to sit here almost a season later and still see how she hates herself to the point that the love Brittany instills in her is causing her more pain than pleasure. And will continue doing so until she learns how to love and accept herself as unconditionally as she does Brittany.
Brittany’s response in this scene is also kinda spot on and tells us a lot about who she is as a person. It’s no coincidence she reflects Santana’s words and makes them her own. That’s how she works. Incredibly dependent on other people’s reactions and opinions before voicing her own. Which makes me wonder if glee club isn’t somewhat of a safe haven for her. All those random and at time bizarre comments almost always take place inside of the choir room or with one of the gleeks with whom she’s started feeling safe with. Otherwise, when put on the spot she always avoids standing out by latching on to other people’s opinions. A behaviour we will see repeated in Sexy, where she has a hard time figuring out her feelings towards Santana without Santana first voicing hers. And the more concrete example is during the sexy sharing circle, where she literally shies away from Holly’s questions and makes sure all attention is put on Santana‘s reply. I’ve got a feeling that one too many times people have told her she is stupid, or that her opinion is stupid and I think she’s actually begun believing it. So it became easier for her to wait for what other’s have to say and then use their words as her own.
Whereas Santana needs to come to terms herself and her feelings, Brittany needs to start trusting her own opinion. I know I’m jumping the gun, but I need to digress, cause this reminds me of why Hurt Locker is so painfully perfect. Not only does Santana take a step towards accepting herself by acknowledging her feelings towards Brittany, but for once Brittany does not simply mirror Santana’s opinions and reactions. Rather she stands on her own two feet, reject Santana and ultimately grow as a person for doing so. Because for once she doesn’t accept Santana’s opinion of Artie as “a stupid boy”, but holds onto the love she has actually developed for him. I swear that scene...still not over how perfect it is for the development of their relationship and them as separate entities.
Now back to the episode, and on a much more superficial note, Brittana are the only two who break the gender division of the line they sit in as they perform in front of Will. Boy/girl all the way, until you get to Brittana. They are so damn inseparable that they defy choreographical symmetry.
And finally the Over the Rainbow scene contains everything that make them so pretty and makes shipping them a bed of roses. There is touch, gaze, hand hold, hug, pinkie link and cuddle. All of this crammed into under 20 seconds of actual screen time. I’m basically sitting here shooting fish in a dwarf barrel. I wouldn’t be opposed to the second season ending on a similar note. With one small exception, the cuddle needs to be preceded by a kiss and lets push it up to 40 seconds. Sounds like a plan?
As I put my metaphorical gun away the first season ends. To sum up, it's been one helluva ride and it has literally only just begun.
***
***
LARYNGITIS [1x18]
This was all over the place. I think the best way to sum it up is confusion. Brittana spend time together and obviously eye!sex but despite that they feel…splintered and fractured. Yeah I’m so confused I feel a strange and sudden need to quote Katy Perry, because Brittana are a total plastic bag drifting aimlessly through the episode, their house of cards one blow from caving in. Also Santana is so gay and don’t even like boys.
Santana’s reaction to the hairless Puck is…heartless and kinda priceless. She just does not care one iota about this guy. I seriously doubt she even likes him. Look at her complete disregard to him in his moment of need and compare that to how she interacts with Brittany (or just look at the photo above). The blonde falters or shows a weakness and she is there, all over the situation, protecting and comforting. But this is Puck, this is one of the other guys and she couldn’t care less.
I like how she immediately draws parallels to Samson though. Which makes me ponder her home and heritage once more. It has been mentioned before, the fact that she is of Latin decent is hardly ever touched on and during the spirituality episode she was conspicuously absent. However if we are to draw religious assumptions based on her ethnicity Catholicism would be a good bet. Which would also explain why she is so familiar with the Samson story. Yet we’ve seen her bedroom and I have a hard time seeing how a Jah Babylon poster would fit into a Catholic home. All of this is making me realise that I feel like I have a pretty good understanding of Santana emotionally, but very little understanding of where she comes from culturally and socially. I’m kinda hoping they give us more of a glimpse into her family as they further develop her storyline.
Back to the episode and Puck’s actions. He decides he needs to regain some of his popularity and that the best way to do so would be to date a cheerleader. Rather than go after Santana with whom he clearly has had some kind of relationship he goes after Mercedes instead. Because on some level he knows he will never be able to date Santana? Or is her popularity sinking below Mercedes‘?
While Santana is annoyed by the Puck/Mercedes debacle Brittany is off exploring new relationships and Kurt’s mouth. After having suffered a small identity crisis Kurt decides to give heterosexuality a try and fails as miserably as Santana. Brittany however is more than willing to help him experiment and the two briefly “date”. Second time in a short timespan Brittany attaches herself to a person she clearly has no future with.
I seriously do not think Santana sees Kurt as a threat, but it should be pointed out that she doesn’t actually become pro-actively aggressive towards Mercedes until after Brittany has made out with him. I don’t know how linked those two occurrences are, but I’m gonna pretend very. Puck/Mercedes is a thorn in Santana’s side, but not much more. Until the time her girl flirts in front of her and then end up dating said boy. Suddenly there is all this anger inside of Santana, anger she then decides to direct at Mercedes rather than the true source and cause of it.
The Boy Is Mine performance highlights that perfectly. Mercedes sings to Puck, indirectly trying to win him over by musically seducing him. Santana treats Puck as an inanimate object, a prop and her attention is undividedly focused on Mercedes. When the duet is finished her anger continues bubbling and they almost come to blows before Santana storms out of the room. For her that song wasn't about Puck, it was about finding an outlet for the feelings she won't admit she has in relation to Brittany.
***
DREAM ON [1x19]
I have a very vivid imagination, but even I find it difficult to create subtext out of nothing. Even though many will argue I do.
But since there is nothing in this episode on account of them not appearing in more than brief group scenes, lets take the time to linger on what personality differences those blink and you’ll miss it appearances reminded us of.
Bryan Ryan gives bi-polar a face and keeps going back and forth between ultimate doom and gloom and extreme enthusiasm and giddy happiness. At one point his personal joy makes him funnel funds from the Cheerios into glee club and as a result has bought them all kinds of presents. Brittany’s reaction is to mirror Bryan Ryan’s, childlike enthusiasm in other words. Santana on the other hand holds back, silently judging with a frown on her face. Is this just part of Santana’s personality or is she perhaps too familiar with being bought off? Perhaps this is not the first time she’s on the receiving end of a guilty conscious resulting in lavish gifts. Parental neglect being smoothed over with money?
At the end of the episode their reactions are again spot on for who they are as characters and how they always seem to fall at complete different ends of the spectra. Will reveals that he has trades his dream for a chance at theirs and that glee continues on. Brittany’s face is open and friendly. And next to her Santana sits as the perfect picture of closed off and guarded. Complete ends of the spectrum, but that’s why they work so well together in my eyes.
And to finish off I’m just gonna sit here for a moment and ponder what could possibly have been written on their “dream notes”. What are their biggest dreams? What keeps them awake at night? What gets them out of bed in the morning? What is the dream beyond all dreams that linger in their respective minds?
No idea, but I would not be the least bit surprised if whatever they may be, that they would fit seamlessly into one another.
***
THEATRICALITY [1x20]
For once we get bullying and Brittana. Progression or perhaps just a fluke.
Either way, Tina is put in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. Her sense of style and way of personal expression is once more questioned and critiqued. This time by Principal Figgins. I’m as much of a fan of the homogeneous collective as the next socialist, but this kind of fashion fascism is not ok. Especially not when it is based on ignorant fear. But I guess that is besides the Brittana point.
As a result Tina is in dire need of a new style to identify with. The glee kids help her brainstorm. Santana automatically suggests Biker Chick. I am amazed and in awe of what a big gaybo this character actually is. Of course she would be the one to suggest the leather and hogs. She might not be much of an Indigo Girls fan, but long before tptb decided she was to be a lesbian she was already a stereotypical dyke. I guess I shouldn’t, but I do love it so.
The rest of the episode is the usual buffet of looks and touching. A few of the more noticeable occasions during the Bad Romance performance and what comes before it. The look on Santana’s face as Brittany tells Rachel, “you look terrible. I look awesome”. Equal parts amusement and adoration, such a stark contrast to how she looks at the rest of the gleeks. But love will do that to you.
Oh, also their costumes. I like how everyone constantly keeps playing with their complementary yin/yang nature. This time it was the costume departments turn to do their bit by dressing Brittany in gloves made of what appears to be the same lace-y material that so gorgeously clings to Santana’s every curve. Obviously those costumes are not made my High School kids, but still to add one of those small touches of realism to it puts a smile on my face. Because even though we never got to see it, you know they spent their evenings “cuddling” and working on their costumes together. So of course it makes sense Brittany would use some of Santana’s left-over lace to make a pair of gloves. Also on a more abstract level it is a nice little kick to have Santana’s body and Brittany’s hands linked like that. Becoming one, metaphorically joined and indistinguishable. It’s kinda erotic, don’t you think?
Then there is the actual performance. Others have discussed it lengthier and smarter, but it must be mentioned again. Santana’s lines in that song, “I want your love and I want your revenge. I don’t want to be friends”. She really should have been more careful for what she wished for. Because it all came true. Every angsty syllable of it.
Also the dancing. You know, the hands-hands in all the right places- bit of the dancing. I totally understand why Brittany’s low-dipping hand only made it to the promo and not the actual episode. Because that move I must say is dangerously close to exhibitionism. Not that I mind. I’m a fangurl, that’s made up of like 50% voyeurism anyhow. Still makes my jaw drop a little. Also compare how Santana is holding Kurt’s arm at a distance, making sure he doesn’t accidentally boob-grab, but lets Brittany’s roam her valleys and peaks uninhibited. Mmm-hm.
Okay, lets make that 57% voyeurism.
***
FUNK [1x21]
Vocal Adrenaline does its best to throw New Directions into a funk. Among other things they end up trashing their choir room with toilet paper causing general mayhem. As you should be used to by now, keep your eyes on Brittana, they are perfection. Santana is unfazed as she meticulously grooms her nails (preparation for a weekend out of town with her girl?) whereas Brittany tries to put the toiler paper back on the roll. Such small things, but perfect reminders of who these two characters are and how they differ.
Sue then storms in and raves on about winning, poking and prodding Will into a fight. As she mentions Nationals a wide grin spreads across Brittany’s face as she looks down at Santana. Oh the fanfic material. Those two sharing a room unchaperoned. So much goodness, most of it of the pwp variety, but who am I to judge?! Why would I want to judge!?
Later on Will decides it is time they put their funk to good use, by doing an actual funk number. When they finish up, Brittana who obviously sit next to each other pinkie link as they stroll out of the room. The funk really doesn’t apply to them. They are closer than ever.
And when Quinn gets up to sing her song with the Unwed Mothership Connection (for some reason I feel like they might also be responsible for cattle mutilation and anal-probing) we get another moment. There are several kids sitting between them, but they might as well not exists as Brittana takes a moment to sex each other up. “I’d get her pregnant” - I’ll say.
I really enjoy seeing the Cheerios reduced to rubble when they lose Sue’s leadership. Santana and her creys in the hallway are awesome with a gentle undertone of heartbreak. And I can’t really make out what she says, but it sounds as if she is crying for her daddy between the sobs. Something that can be interpreted in so many ways that I don’t even know where to start. Makes me once again long to meet Mr and Mrs Lopez though.
But Santana’s reaction to losing her Cheerios persona continues to trigger feelings of satisfied awesomeness in me. She has briefly been robbed of that mask she so desperately hides behind and for a moment her true and vulnerable self peaks out. Turns out her true self has perfected the baby-dyke slump. You know the one where you sprawl out across a chair, totally dominating it and even though you might not be packing, your legs still act as if you were.
And unsurprisingly Sue and the Cheerios win Nationals. Sue gets interviewed by the press and in the background Brittana frolic. Santana’s automatic response to the victory being to jump into Brittany’s open arms and wrapping her legs tightly around the blonde’s waist. They basically got further in that background scene than they did in Duets. Not sure how I should feel about that. But better focus on the positive, so I love this scene!
Final hurrah is yet another pinkie link as Sue dumps her trophy in Will’s apartment. They stroll in behind their coach, fingers neatly linked together. It’s so pretty when they get to be together like this. No distractions, no drama, just them loving each other so hard at the back of the bus that Rosa Parks will give up her seat to bring them to the front.
Gods how I love Heya for making Brittana so damn real.
***
JOURNEY TO REGIONALS [1x21]
There is nothing spectacular in this episode, but their interactions have reached a stage of comforting familiarity which in itself is kinda extraordinary. Over the span of the season they’ve had their ups and downs, but at this point in time and space their relationship feels strangely stable. The dysfunction is still there, both in them as a couple and individuals, but in this suspended moment all you can feel is their love for each other.
There is so much drama and musical glitz in this episode that the first Brittana moment doesn’t come until New Directions are nervously waiting to hear the winners of Regionals be announced. Their hands are held together tightly, but Brittany needs even more reassurance and with her free hand grabs hold of their entwined hands and pull them close to her chest. Where they spend the rest of the scene chillaxing. Santana don't mind, so neither should you.
To Sir With Love once more hands Santana a very fitting verse. With tears in her eyes she sings, “A friend who taught me right from wrong. And weak from strong. That’s a lot to learn”. There’s no way I can’t interpret those lines as being in relation to Brittany, and I think Santana is fully aware of the parallels herself, hence the tears. I kinda adore this moment, because it is hopeful angst. She is slowly learning the lessons of how to keep her heart open. Of how to allow herself to feel. At the same time, this is a lot to learn. It won’t happen over night. It won’t even happen over the summer break. No, this is a journey we will see stretch far into season 2 and most likely continue on long into season 3.
Before glee club Santana hated everyone in that room (she always breaks my heart, because the way she emphasis everyone you know she includes herself in that hatred), but this confessions shows us that she has slowly begun melting parts of the iceberg erected in her soul. And even though she does not care to admit it, to herself or anyone else, she has actually turned hate into love. At least in relation to one person in that room. It’s just so frustrating to sit here almost a season later and still see how she hates herself to the point that the love Brittany instills in her is causing her more pain than pleasure. And will continue doing so until she learns how to love and accept herself as unconditionally as she does Brittany.
Brittany’s response in this scene is also kinda spot on and tells us a lot about who she is as a person. It’s no coincidence she reflects Santana’s words and makes them her own. That’s how she works. Incredibly dependent on other people’s reactions and opinions before voicing her own. Which makes me wonder if glee club isn’t somewhat of a safe haven for her. All those random and at time bizarre comments almost always take place inside of the choir room or with one of the gleeks with whom she’s started feeling safe with. Otherwise, when put on the spot she always avoids standing out by latching on to other people’s opinions. A behaviour we will see repeated in Sexy, where she has a hard time figuring out her feelings towards Santana without Santana first voicing hers. And the more concrete example is during the sexy sharing circle, where she literally shies away from Holly’s questions and makes sure all attention is put on Santana‘s reply. I’ve got a feeling that one too many times people have told her she is stupid, or that her opinion is stupid and I think she’s actually begun believing it. So it became easier for her to wait for what other’s have to say and then use their words as her own.
Whereas Santana needs to come to terms herself and her feelings, Brittany needs to start trusting her own opinion. I know I’m jumping the gun, but I need to digress, cause this reminds me of why Hurt Locker is so painfully perfect. Not only does Santana take a step towards accepting herself by acknowledging her feelings towards Brittany, but for once Brittany does not simply mirror Santana’s opinions and reactions. Rather she stands on her own two feet, reject Santana and ultimately grow as a person for doing so. Because for once she doesn’t accept Santana’s opinion of Artie as “a stupid boy”, but holds onto the love she has actually developed for him. I swear that scene...still not over how perfect it is for the development of their relationship and them as separate entities.
Now back to the episode, and on a much more superficial note, Brittana are the only two who break the gender division of the line they sit in as they perform in front of Will. Boy/girl all the way, until you get to Brittana. They are so damn inseparable that they defy choreographical symmetry.
And finally the Over the Rainbow scene contains everything that make them so pretty and makes shipping them a bed of roses. There is touch, gaze, hand hold, hug, pinkie link and cuddle. All of this crammed into under 20 seconds of actual screen time. I’m basically sitting here shooting fish in a dwarf barrel. I wouldn’t be opposed to the second season ending on a similar note. With one small exception, the cuddle needs to be preceded by a kiss and lets push it up to 40 seconds. Sounds like a plan?
As I put my metaphorical gun away the first season ends. To sum up, it's been one helluva ride and it has literally only just begun.
***