Step by step (2/4)
(part 1)
The situation turns a little more obvious after the accident that Sanghyuk adds right on the top of his quite lengthy list of “Things That Have Corrupted My Innocence Forever”, pushing back his mother’s dreadful collection of high-heels that he may or may not had been forced to wear on multiple occasions way back when his sister was still notably stronger than him.
One day he enters the reception area to find Jaehwan desperately looking through the drawers of the tall file cabinet, practically throwing out every single piece of paper from it, scattering them all around the floor.
Ken looks unaffected by these human antics, meticulously picking at the phone cable until he notices Sanghyuk, greeting him with multiple enthusiastic “What to do!”s.
“Hyukkie! Sanghyuk, thank God you’re here! I need you to fetch Hakyeon for me immediately right now I can’t find The Pizza Pamphlet from that place we ordered last time and I can’t remember their name so I can’t look them up on the internet either and I need to order pizza right now and I think he might have it but I still have to look through the cabinet just in case!”
Jaehwan all but shouts at him, and Sanghyuk is not quite sure he’s actually hearing what he thinks he’s hearing but anyhow, it would probably be best to just go straight to Hakyeon, even if only to warn him that Jaehwan has officially lost his mind and he, the manager, should deal with that.
Even though he’s never been in Hakyeon’s office before, he’s been told where it is, and Sanghyuk takes long, fast steps down the corridor, honestly a little worried about Jaehwan’s sanity by now.
“Hyung!” he calls as he finds the door and pushes it open. “Jaehwan hyung is looking for OH MY GOD MY EYES!” he shrieks mid-sentence, mortified by the sight that is laid out in front of him.
Or more specifically, by Hakyeon laid out on his desk, with his legs tightly wrapped around Wonshik’s waist and oh dear Lord, Sanghyuk really, really didn’t need to see that…
He thinks he mutters multiple quick “Oh God”s and “Sorry”s as he retreats, fast as lightning, and rushes through the entire building, past Jaehwan who seems to be passionately making out with a piece of paper, not stopping till he’s in Taekwoon’s office, burying his face in his hands. This is so embarrassing… This is even more embarrassing than that one time when he was a kid and used Aunt Hyosuk’s - quite large - underwear to build a military tent for his toy soldiers…
Sangyhyuk truly wishes that the floor would swallow him. Or that he could turn invisible. He briefly considers just hiding in the bathroom - for the rest of his life would be a good start - but he feels strangely safer in the office with Leo’s wet nose poking at his side comfortingly.
“You are a lucky bastard” Sanghyuk murmurs, looking through his fingers, and quickly succumbs to the dog’s silent but sturdy demands to pet him.
“They will kill me… do you think they’d kill me, Leo?” he asks, rhetorically, because the logical part of his mind knows that he hasn’t actually done anything wrong - well, he could’ve knocked - and it’s not his fault, and it’s not like Hakyeon is the type of person to fire him because of something like that, but how is he going to face them after this, without either laughing straight into their eyes or getting so embarrassed he’d lose the ability to be coherent?
With his mind of steel, he wills the pictures in his head to fade - it’s quite a hard job, really - and by the time Taekwoon returns to his office, he’s feeling way better, starting to see the true ridiculousness of the whole situation. It’s quite surprising, really, he wouldn’t expect Hakyeon, even with his constant goofing around, to be the submissive type stop right there Han Sanghyuk!
“You okay?” Taekwoon asks, as soon as he steps in, and Sanghyuk sees a flash of concern rushing through his face, which, for whatever reasons (okay, for obvious reasons) warms his heart a lot.
“Better” he says, not ready to admit that a huge part of his mood’s improvement is kind of because Taekwoon’s hair is falling in his face and creating subtle, mysterious shadows on his cheekbones.
Taekwoon doesn’t seem all that convinced, however, so he takes a few steps closer, until he’s right in front of Sanghyuk, and after receiving no further explanation (which could be alarming, yes, considering how much Sanghyuk talks around him all the time), he plops down unceremoniously beside him, leaning back against the wall and pulling Leo closer.
For a short while, they only sit like that, on the cool floor of the office, back against the wall with Leo between them - partly on them, crawling into their laps and basking in the attention of two pairs of hands. Sometimes their fingers touch as they run them through the golden fur, but nobody looks up, nobody speaks, and Sanghyuk swears he would spend the rest of his life like this.
Then suddenly and unexpectedly, he starts to laugh, his eyes disappearing into thin crescents and his head thrown back against the wall, laughs uproariously and can’t seem to stop, because this whole thing is just so absurd, Hakyeon and Wonshik and Taekwoon and Leo and him and everything, it just blows up and he really is the biggest idiot on Earth because what the fuck was all that panic for?!
He knows how he sounds - knows how he must look like - so he’s not surprised by the questioning (and again, concerned) look Taekwoon gives him.
“What?”
“I might have walked in on Wonshik hyung and Hakyeon hyung… having sex. In his office”
he says, stopping the madman-laughter for a moment, and looks at Taekwoon. There is a split second of silence, and Sanghyuk doesn’t think he should’ve kept it a secret, not from Taekwoon anyways, he doesn’t feel like keeping secrets from Taekwoon at all, but he’s still tense, studying the man’s calm and collected features, looking for any change, any indication that he might have done something wrong.
Then it’s all over and they both burst into laughter, the sound so unfamiliar, but still so befitting of Taekwoon that Sanghyuk kind of feels like he’s floating. Once they start (once this kind of unreasonable, unstoppable laughter starts), they barely manage to stop at all, small chuckles still escaping their lips here and there, even after they are panting for air and their sides hurt.
“I guess that’s as long as they could… keep their hands off each other. I’m surprised they lasted this long, honestly” Taekwoon finally says, still smiling, and Sanghyuk freezes for a moment, because what.
“Wait, you… you knew?!” he deadpans, and Taekwoon just nods his head, leaning aside to bump his shoulder into Sanghyuk’s playfully.
“They’ve been together for… I don’t know, forever. Wonshik came to work here because of him… He brought him in, Hakyeon. I used to call Wonshik his… his stray puppy, sort of, because he allegedly found the kid on the streets. Or so he says. They never said much about that, I never asked. That’s all.”
“So… so all of you knew? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t anybody tell me?” Sanghyuk demands, a tiny bit hurt, and he’s suddenly not sure he will try not to laugh into Wonshik’s face the next time just for the heck of it.
“Hakyeon was worried you’d freak out. Or hate them for it? Or be disgusted, maybe, or he just thought you were too young? Or something like that, I can’t remember. And it was not my place to tell you.” Taekwoon shrugs, scratching the underside of Leo’s neck when the dog reaches his head out towards him.
“That is ridiculous, why would I hate them? And I am definitely not too young, what the hell, it’s not like I… Erm, so. By any means, I’m not disgusted, you can tell him that. Or, I mean, I didn’t ever want to see… what I saw, specifically, in such… great detail oh my God my eyes… but not because they… you know...”
He’s stuttering again, he knows, but it’s not like he can help it, this is what happens when he wants to say something, to tell someone something so badly but he has no idea how to put it in words, he’s just so poor in expressing himself even though he talks a lot, and how the fuck is he supposed to tell Taekwoon without ruining everything?
“Not because they are gay” Taekwoon nods, and thank Heavens he understands, that’s good, that’s lucky, now he’s one step closer to actually letting him know that…
“And, I suppose, you’re gay, too” he continues, and Sanghyuk promptly chokes on his own tongue because how the fucking hell did he know that? How?!
“You are doing that goldfish-thing again” Taekwoon chuckles, and Sangyhuk is not entirely sure he likes these small laughs too much when they are the result of his stupidity.
“Is it that obvious” he whispers, face turning red - again! for the past few weeks he’s been blushing more than he has in his entire life, save for that one performance back in kindergarten where he had to dress up as… oh no he’s sworn to forget that forever, no.
“A wild guess. You seemed more upset about the fact that they took you for a kid than what you actually saw.”
“Stop laughing at me!” Sanghyuk shrieks because now he’s officially the dumbest person ever, and Taekwoon is still grinning at him with amusement. He’s so immersed in his misery he completely misses the fondness in Taekwoon’s eyes.
“You’re cute” Taekwoon simply answers, and Sanghyuk swears he would pay fortunes to any sorcerer who could finally gift him with the ability to turn invisible.
“Poor Jaehwan, tho. He’ll be devastated, now that he’s officially the only one left” the vet muses, fishing out a biscuit from the pocket of his coat and giving it to Leo who swallows the treat with a swipe of his tongue.
Sanghyuk, however, has since long stopped paying attention to the dog. In fact, he’s stopped paying attention altogether, choosing instead to dwell in his own unfortunate stupidity and the way he’s made a complete, utter fool out of himself in front of Taekwoon, so it’s not for another few moments before the vet’s words finally sink in.
He’s just been subtly told that, theoretically, he still has a chance with Taekwoon. That now there is nothing left but to seduce him into dating Sanghyuk and this - this he can do.
~*~
The newly acquired knowledge (and the off-handed comment about him being cute, although he doesn’t usually like being called that) boosts Sanghyuk’s confidence. Now that his chances are real, however slim but still existing, he can start making plans. He can build it up slowly, step by step, because Taekwoon is clearly not easy to approach, but he has time and he’s willing to be patient (to some extent). He’s cautious, but straightforward, never having been one to hide his intentions, and it seems to actually work. Taekwoon is now comfortable with physical contact, not that he seemed particularly uncomfortable before, but Sanghyuk hasn’t really tried, hasn’t been initiating it on purpose. Now he pays attention to every small move - placing a hand on Taekwoon’s shoulder whenever he’s showing Sanghyuk something, intentionally letting their hands touch as he hands him this-or-that, bumping shoulders, everything that can pass as casual, but still holds a meaning.
A meaning that maybe, probably Taekwoon is starting to get, too, because sometimes he would tousle Sanghyuk’s hair or swat his arm playfully, and he stops asking him if he really wants to spend all his free time in the clinic with him, instead of hanging around Wonshik or Jaehwan.
(Sanghyuk and Wonshik agreed on not to ever talk about The Accident, and pretend it didn’t even happen so they have quickly gone back to being at ease around each other like only the youngests could, and Sanghyuk gets used to Hakyeon publicly displaying his affection towards Wonshik fairly fast.)
On a Friday afternoon, Sanghyuk offers to join Taekwoon in walking Leo at the big park nearby after work (not that he hasn’t been walking the shelter dogs in that same park almost every day for long enough that he knows the place better than the palm of his hand by now, but still). He’s not entirely surprised, albeit extremely excited, that the vet accepts his offer.
It’s the first time Sanghyuk sees Taekwoon outside the shelter, and he’s only a little disappointed how he barely seems to change in and out of work.
He’s still quiet, still composed and unimpressed by the mass of people that chose to spend their afternoon in the green - he does, however, point out the most ordinarily beautiful things to Sanghyuk that he would have never noticed on his own, like this funnily shaped brush or that lone bird perched on the back of a bench like it owned the park. They meet quite a bunch of fellow dog-walkers, and Taekwoon greets a few of them with small, polite nods.
They play fetch with Leo, completely ignoring the large stains of mud the dog gets on their clothes after purposefully rushing through every single patch of wet field or, even better, puddle. Sanghyuk holds onto his leash while Taekwoon buys them ice-cream waffles from a cute old lady that keeps winking at them suggestively. The air is humid and heavy, it’s the heart of Seoul’s summer now, and the trees and stalks, bushes and vines and small, careless flowers all look weary in the heat, but their shoulders still bump as they walk. The cicadas get louder and louder when they reach a trail under some older trees, and Sanghyuk has to lean closer to hear what Taekwoon is saying because his voice is so small compared to the cacophony of nature.
They talk just about anything that comes to Sanghyuk - Taekwoon tells him stories from school, asks about certain professors and Sanghyuk in turn tells him stories of his sister and all the crazy fun they used to have together when they were little. He asks about the shelter and Hakyeon and Jaehwan and Wonshik, and Taekwoon’s voice is full of gentle affection as he details how stupid and useless and insufferable they all are (especially Hakyeon, of course).
It becomes somewhat regular, Sanghyuk waiting around for Taekwoon to close the clinic for the day and head out to the park, with Leo enthusiastically jumping all around them, happy little yelps escaping his throat every second moment, his entire body just one giant wiggling tail with all the shaking, as Sanghyuk likes to put it.
~*~
“You’re into him, aren’t you?” Wonshik asks once, while they are preparing the nutrition mixture for the kittens. They have been growing at a rapid pace, thankfully, and now they’ve fully discovered the small storage room where their basket and litter box is kept, trying to sneak out more and more, giving endless laugh, but also headache, to Sanghyuk and Wonshik. “Taekwoonie hyung, I mean…”
Sanghyuk suppresses a bafflingly stupid grin. He thinks about the feeling of Taekwoon’s fingers brushing across his hand, the secretive, tiny smiles they exchange while working when the client is not looking at them, remembers the slow but steady rhythm of growing closer and closer; the way the tiring summer sun glistens in his dark, dark hair and the way he devours ice cream like it was the nectars of Heaven. The thinks of his quiet, unwavering voice that changes from ice-cold to warm and safe within seconds, the adoring, openly loving gaze he gives Leo (and all other pets, too), and his grin only grows wider.
Taekwoon is like a song in a foreign language, one that Sanghyuk doesn’t understand or never even heard of before, but still keeps listening to, determined to make out the lyrics eventually, even if he has to look up the meanings word by word.
“Yeah. Yeah, I am” he finally nods, not like Wonshik doesn’t understand already, because Sanghyuk thinks it’s just the most obvious thing in the world.
~*~
Their first kiss happens at the movie theatre - but is nothing like any first kisses in the movies.
Sanghyuk persuades Taekwoon into going to see the new Batman movie with him (and one week of constant whining and none too subtle hints is quite hard work at persuasion in Sanghyuk’s dictionary), both because he loves Batman movies and because it would be a nice change to do something together that is not strolling in the park or working at the shelter or talking about Sanghyuk’s future prospects in life. The theatre is dark and quite empty as it is a Wednesday afternoon, and Bruce Wayne is having an identity crisis of some sort on the screen when Sanghyuk suddenly turns to Taekwoon and presses his lips against his mouth.
He’s quick to turn back away, though, so quick that he’s sure nobody even noticed - for a moment he’s not even positive Taekwoon has noticed but then a hand sneaks onto his thigh and squeezes ever so lightly and when he sneaks a peak, Taekwoon is smirking, obviously not at the quickly approaching doom of Gotham city.
Their second kiss happens later that day, when Taekwoon takes Sanghyuk home and promptly kisses him goodbye. He tastes like popcorn and soda, mostly, but also tastes like something Sanghyuk may get addicted to, even just in small, almost innocent doses. Their third one comes two days later, in the kitchen, because Taekwoon is so freaking adorable when he messes something up and starts cursing under his breath so quietly it’s impossible to make out the words he says.
Leo is to blame for the fourth kiss - Sanghyuk thinks he’s found a partner-in-crime when the dog tears the leash out of his hand and launches himself at a couple squirrels with such force he knocks Sanghyuk into Taekwoon, limbs tangled in the leash, making them both stumble and fall on top of each other onto the woozy grass. They laugh for a long time after that, because this is the cheesiest picture of all rom-coms.
“This is so corny…” Taekwoon whispers, and yet, still steals a tiny kiss from Sanghyuk’s wide grin, before rolling off him and starting to yell at his insufferable dog.
The fifth is also initiated by Sanghyuk but - finally! - involves some tongue and an unsure hand in Taekwoon’s hair that leaves both of them kind of dizzy and breathless. And Sanghyuk never loses count.
He never asks Taekwoon about the whole thing - it just doesn’t seem like it would make sense, or that he should, that Taekwoon would want to talk, really, it’s already quite simple and obvious this way … But about two weeks later, deep into the heavy, bone-draining heat of August, he becomes extremely sorry that he didn’t.
~*~
It’s actually a little surprising that he’s been at the shelter for so long now - the kittens, now proudly bearing the names Nicole and Kimberly, have grown so much they have started side-eyeing Ken, who never fails to warn the entire neighbourhood about them, his loud “What to do?!”s driving Wonshik and Hakyeon positively insane.
And yet, there has never been one “business dinner”, one night where they all gather after work and go out together to eat and possibly get shit-faced drunk - something that Sanghyuk dearly misses now that it’s been so long since his friends have actually had time to terrorize Hongdae with him, in the midst of their busy summer holidaying. But then as Friday rolls around, Jaehwan greets him by throwing an arm around his shoulder with an excited grin, and asks if he has any plans for tonight that he might want to cancel, and oh yes, he’s been waiting for this for so long. Free food and drinks are something Sanghyuk gladly clears his non-existent schedule for.
He only takes about one and a half hour getting ready that night, changing shirts six consecutive times before finally deciding on a decent, polka-dot piece that has a classy enough cut but is still fresh and unique with its bright blue colour. His hair takes another fifteen minutes to be done, and while he idly wonders if Taekwoon would even notice, he’s enjoying himself immensely so it doesn’t even matter. That much.
Besides, if nobody else, Hakyeon hyung would notice for sure.
Jaehwan arrives to pick him up at eight, and when they get to the restaurant, Wonshik and Taekwoon are already there. The place itself is just this side of fancy - it’s big and old and looks traditional, and there is a TV in the separate room that they have reserved, with high, western-style laid table and soft cushions on the chairs. Taekwoon motions him over to sit next to him and Wonshik shoves a shot of soju right into his hand - before even ordering any food, this is gonna be so awesome. Hakyeon is not there yet, but he’s supposed to arrive shortly, meanwhile, they are free to start dinner, which Sanghyuk would actually refrain from, considering common-sense politeness, but Jaehwan flips him off with an endearing “Who the fuck cares about Hakyeon anyways?”
The lamp hanging from the ceiling is made to look like it holds a hundred candles - they scatter tiny spots of light everywhere, and there are way more drinks than food, although Wonshik and Sanghyuk make it their mission to determinate who can eat more, which turns out to be a fairly tight match.
Jaehwan and Taekwoon are all laughs as they watch them, and Taekwoon’s hand finds its way onto Sanghyuk’s thigh some time between the cheese and the seafood ddeokbokki like it belongs there. Sanghyuk’s head is getting a little dizzy and, surprisingly enough, Taekwoon’s cheeks are also getting one shade pinker by each pitcher of beer - he seemed like someone who can hold their liquor extremely well, Sanghyuk thinks.
Jaehwan can’t stop telling jokes that are totally not funny but make them all laugh with the way he is telling them, impersonating each and every character in a different voice. Wonshik stops checking his phone every three minutes and Sanghyuk is just happy that he doesn’t need to constantly wonder where the heck Taekwoon could possibly be, because he’s right there, right next to him, palm open under the absent-minded touches of Sanghyuk’s fingers. They sit close, as close as it’s still comfortable, and it’s just perfect, really. It’s just laid-back and comforting, it’s Taekwoon and friends and food and beer and laughter and Taekwoon, again, and Sanghyuk can’t remember the last occasion he’s had such a great time.
When the door slides open and Hakyeon steps in with the biggest smile on his face that Sanghyuk thinks he’s ever seen - which is quite something when one talks about Hakyeon - Wonshik immediately jumps up to hurry to him, but Hakyeon kind of shoos him aside, clearing his throat for an announcement.
“You guys! Look who’s returned to Korea and decided to rejoin us!” he winks, clearly proud of himself seeing the expectant faces of his friends, and steps aside to let someone else in.
When that someone steps inside the room, many things happen simultaneously. Jaehwan cries out in surprise and jumps to his feet to fling himself at the newcomer, and ends up being knocked aside by Wonshik who yells something that sounds like “Yah Lee Hongbin!” with the stupidest, happiest grin ever, and Sanghyuk’s chin kind of hits the floor when he finally sets his eyes on the guy who might just be the walking definition of handsome himself.
But the thing he really notices, the thing that still makes his blood run thin and cold and his heart throb in the most annoying, most shocked way is how Taekwoon’s body goes completely rigid and motionless, how all colour runs out of his face and how quickly he yanks his hand out of Sanghyuk’s, distancing himself from the boy immediately, as if he wasn’t even there.
Something bitter clogs Sanghyuk’s throat and he can’t hear the words that Taekwoon murmurs to himself in the general cacophony of happiness, but when he sneaks a glance at his frozen expression, he can easily read it off his barely moving lips.
It’s one word over and over again - “Hongbin”.
~*~
(part 3)
The situation turns a little more obvious after the accident that Sanghyuk adds right on the top of his quite lengthy list of “Things That Have Corrupted My Innocence Forever”, pushing back his mother’s dreadful collection of high-heels that he may or may not had been forced to wear on multiple occasions way back when his sister was still notably stronger than him.
One day he enters the reception area to find Jaehwan desperately looking through the drawers of the tall file cabinet, practically throwing out every single piece of paper from it, scattering them all around the floor.
Ken looks unaffected by these human antics, meticulously picking at the phone cable until he notices Sanghyuk, greeting him with multiple enthusiastic “What to do!”s.
“Hyukkie! Sanghyuk, thank God you’re here! I need you to fetch Hakyeon for me immediately right now I can’t find The Pizza Pamphlet from that place we ordered last time and I can’t remember their name so I can’t look them up on the internet either and I need to order pizza right now and I think he might have it but I still have to look through the cabinet just in case!”
Jaehwan all but shouts at him, and Sanghyuk is not quite sure he’s actually hearing what he thinks he’s hearing but anyhow, it would probably be best to just go straight to Hakyeon, even if only to warn him that Jaehwan has officially lost his mind and he, the manager, should deal with that.
Even though he’s never been in Hakyeon’s office before, he’s been told where it is, and Sanghyuk takes long, fast steps down the corridor, honestly a little worried about Jaehwan’s sanity by now.
“Hyung!” he calls as he finds the door and pushes it open. “Jaehwan hyung is looking for OH MY GOD MY EYES!” he shrieks mid-sentence, mortified by the sight that is laid out in front of him.
Or more specifically, by Hakyeon laid out on his desk, with his legs tightly wrapped around Wonshik’s waist and oh dear Lord, Sanghyuk really, really didn’t need to see that…
He thinks he mutters multiple quick “Oh God”s and “Sorry”s as he retreats, fast as lightning, and rushes through the entire building, past Jaehwan who seems to be passionately making out with a piece of paper, not stopping till he’s in Taekwoon’s office, burying his face in his hands. This is so embarrassing… This is even more embarrassing than that one time when he was a kid and used Aunt Hyosuk’s - quite large - underwear to build a military tent for his toy soldiers…
Sangyhyuk truly wishes that the floor would swallow him. Or that he could turn invisible. He briefly considers just hiding in the bathroom - for the rest of his life would be a good start - but he feels strangely safer in the office with Leo’s wet nose poking at his side comfortingly.
“You are a lucky bastard” Sanghyuk murmurs, looking through his fingers, and quickly succumbs to the dog’s silent but sturdy demands to pet him.
“They will kill me… do you think they’d kill me, Leo?” he asks, rhetorically, because the logical part of his mind knows that he hasn’t actually done anything wrong - well, he could’ve knocked - and it’s not his fault, and it’s not like Hakyeon is the type of person to fire him because of something like that, but how is he going to face them after this, without either laughing straight into their eyes or getting so embarrassed he’d lose the ability to be coherent?
With his mind of steel, he wills the pictures in his head to fade - it’s quite a hard job, really - and by the time Taekwoon returns to his office, he’s feeling way better, starting to see the true ridiculousness of the whole situation. It’s quite surprising, really, he wouldn’t expect Hakyeon, even with his constant goofing around, to be the submissive type stop right there Han Sanghyuk!
“You okay?” Taekwoon asks, as soon as he steps in, and Sanghyuk sees a flash of concern rushing through his face, which, for whatever reasons (okay, for obvious reasons) warms his heart a lot.
“Better” he says, not ready to admit that a huge part of his mood’s improvement is kind of because Taekwoon’s hair is falling in his face and creating subtle, mysterious shadows on his cheekbones.
Taekwoon doesn’t seem all that convinced, however, so he takes a few steps closer, until he’s right in front of Sanghyuk, and after receiving no further explanation (which could be alarming, yes, considering how much Sanghyuk talks around him all the time), he plops down unceremoniously beside him, leaning back against the wall and pulling Leo closer.
For a short while, they only sit like that, on the cool floor of the office, back against the wall with Leo between them - partly on them, crawling into their laps and basking in the attention of two pairs of hands. Sometimes their fingers touch as they run them through the golden fur, but nobody looks up, nobody speaks, and Sanghyuk swears he would spend the rest of his life like this.
Then suddenly and unexpectedly, he starts to laugh, his eyes disappearing into thin crescents and his head thrown back against the wall, laughs uproariously and can’t seem to stop, because this whole thing is just so absurd, Hakyeon and Wonshik and Taekwoon and Leo and him and everything, it just blows up and he really is the biggest idiot on Earth because what the fuck was all that panic for?!
He knows how he sounds - knows how he must look like - so he’s not surprised by the questioning (and again, concerned) look Taekwoon gives him.
“What?”
“I might have walked in on Wonshik hyung and Hakyeon hyung… having sex. In his office”
he says, stopping the madman-laughter for a moment, and looks at Taekwoon. There is a split second of silence, and Sanghyuk doesn’t think he should’ve kept it a secret, not from Taekwoon anyways, he doesn’t feel like keeping secrets from Taekwoon at all, but he’s still tense, studying the man’s calm and collected features, looking for any change, any indication that he might have done something wrong.
Then it’s all over and they both burst into laughter, the sound so unfamiliar, but still so befitting of Taekwoon that Sanghyuk kind of feels like he’s floating. Once they start (once this kind of unreasonable, unstoppable laughter starts), they barely manage to stop at all, small chuckles still escaping their lips here and there, even after they are panting for air and their sides hurt.
“I guess that’s as long as they could… keep their hands off each other. I’m surprised they lasted this long, honestly” Taekwoon finally says, still smiling, and Sanghyuk freezes for a moment, because what.
“Wait, you… you knew?!” he deadpans, and Taekwoon just nods his head, leaning aside to bump his shoulder into Sanghyuk’s playfully.
“They’ve been together for… I don’t know, forever. Wonshik came to work here because of him… He brought him in, Hakyeon. I used to call Wonshik his… his stray puppy, sort of, because he allegedly found the kid on the streets. Or so he says. They never said much about that, I never asked. That’s all.”
“So… so all of you knew? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t anybody tell me?” Sanghyuk demands, a tiny bit hurt, and he’s suddenly not sure he will try not to laugh into Wonshik’s face the next time just for the heck of it.
“Hakyeon was worried you’d freak out. Or hate them for it? Or be disgusted, maybe, or he just thought you were too young? Or something like that, I can’t remember. And it was not my place to tell you.” Taekwoon shrugs, scratching the underside of Leo’s neck when the dog reaches his head out towards him.
“That is ridiculous, why would I hate them? And I am definitely not too young, what the hell, it’s not like I… Erm, so. By any means, I’m not disgusted, you can tell him that. Or, I mean, I didn’t ever want to see… what I saw, specifically, in such… great detail oh my God my eyes… but not because they… you know...”
He’s stuttering again, he knows, but it’s not like he can help it, this is what happens when he wants to say something, to tell someone something so badly but he has no idea how to put it in words, he’s just so poor in expressing himself even though he talks a lot, and how the fuck is he supposed to tell Taekwoon without ruining everything?
“Not because they are gay” Taekwoon nods, and thank Heavens he understands, that’s good, that’s lucky, now he’s one step closer to actually letting him know that…
“And, I suppose, you’re gay, too” he continues, and Sanghyuk promptly chokes on his own tongue because how the fucking hell did he know that? How?!
“You are doing that goldfish-thing again” Taekwoon chuckles, and Sangyhuk is not entirely sure he likes these small laughs too much when they are the result of his stupidity.
“Is it that obvious” he whispers, face turning red - again! for the past few weeks he’s been blushing more than he has in his entire life, save for that one performance back in kindergarten where he had to dress up as… oh no he’s sworn to forget that forever, no.
“A wild guess. You seemed more upset about the fact that they took you for a kid than what you actually saw.”
“Stop laughing at me!” Sanghyuk shrieks because now he’s officially the dumbest person ever, and Taekwoon is still grinning at him with amusement. He’s so immersed in his misery he completely misses the fondness in Taekwoon’s eyes.
“You’re cute” Taekwoon simply answers, and Sanghyuk swears he would pay fortunes to any sorcerer who could finally gift him with the ability to turn invisible.
“Poor Jaehwan, tho. He’ll be devastated, now that he’s officially the only one left” the vet muses, fishing out a biscuit from the pocket of his coat and giving it to Leo who swallows the treat with a swipe of his tongue.
Sanghyuk, however, has since long stopped paying attention to the dog. In fact, he’s stopped paying attention altogether, choosing instead to dwell in his own unfortunate stupidity and the way he’s made a complete, utter fool out of himself in front of Taekwoon, so it’s not for another few moments before the vet’s words finally sink in.
He’s just been subtly told that, theoretically, he still has a chance with Taekwoon. That now there is nothing left but to seduce him into dating Sanghyuk and this - this he can do.
~*~
The newly acquired knowledge (and the off-handed comment about him being cute, although he doesn’t usually like being called that) boosts Sanghyuk’s confidence. Now that his chances are real, however slim but still existing, he can start making plans. He can build it up slowly, step by step, because Taekwoon is clearly not easy to approach, but he has time and he’s willing to be patient (to some extent). He’s cautious, but straightforward, never having been one to hide his intentions, and it seems to actually work. Taekwoon is now comfortable with physical contact, not that he seemed particularly uncomfortable before, but Sanghyuk hasn’t really tried, hasn’t been initiating it on purpose. Now he pays attention to every small move - placing a hand on Taekwoon’s shoulder whenever he’s showing Sanghyuk something, intentionally letting their hands touch as he hands him this-or-that, bumping shoulders, everything that can pass as casual, but still holds a meaning.
A meaning that maybe, probably Taekwoon is starting to get, too, because sometimes he would tousle Sanghyuk’s hair or swat his arm playfully, and he stops asking him if he really wants to spend all his free time in the clinic with him, instead of hanging around Wonshik or Jaehwan.
(Sanghyuk and Wonshik agreed on not to ever talk about The Accident, and pretend it didn’t even happen so they have quickly gone back to being at ease around each other like only the youngests could, and Sanghyuk gets used to Hakyeon publicly displaying his affection towards Wonshik fairly fast.)
On a Friday afternoon, Sanghyuk offers to join Taekwoon in walking Leo at the big park nearby after work (not that he hasn’t been walking the shelter dogs in that same park almost every day for long enough that he knows the place better than the palm of his hand by now, but still). He’s not entirely surprised, albeit extremely excited, that the vet accepts his offer.
It’s the first time Sanghyuk sees Taekwoon outside the shelter, and he’s only a little disappointed how he barely seems to change in and out of work.
He’s still quiet, still composed and unimpressed by the mass of people that chose to spend their afternoon in the green - he does, however, point out the most ordinarily beautiful things to Sanghyuk that he would have never noticed on his own, like this funnily shaped brush or that lone bird perched on the back of a bench like it owned the park. They meet quite a bunch of fellow dog-walkers, and Taekwoon greets a few of them with small, polite nods.
They play fetch with Leo, completely ignoring the large stains of mud the dog gets on their clothes after purposefully rushing through every single patch of wet field or, even better, puddle. Sanghyuk holds onto his leash while Taekwoon buys them ice-cream waffles from a cute old lady that keeps winking at them suggestively. The air is humid and heavy, it’s the heart of Seoul’s summer now, and the trees and stalks, bushes and vines and small, careless flowers all look weary in the heat, but their shoulders still bump as they walk. The cicadas get louder and louder when they reach a trail under some older trees, and Sanghyuk has to lean closer to hear what Taekwoon is saying because his voice is so small compared to the cacophony of nature.
They talk just about anything that comes to Sanghyuk - Taekwoon tells him stories from school, asks about certain professors and Sanghyuk in turn tells him stories of his sister and all the crazy fun they used to have together when they were little. He asks about the shelter and Hakyeon and Jaehwan and Wonshik, and Taekwoon’s voice is full of gentle affection as he details how stupid and useless and insufferable they all are (especially Hakyeon, of course).
It becomes somewhat regular, Sanghyuk waiting around for Taekwoon to close the clinic for the day and head out to the park, with Leo enthusiastically jumping all around them, happy little yelps escaping his throat every second moment, his entire body just one giant wiggling tail with all the shaking, as Sanghyuk likes to put it.
~*~
“You’re into him, aren’t you?” Wonshik asks once, while they are preparing the nutrition mixture for the kittens. They have been growing at a rapid pace, thankfully, and now they’ve fully discovered the small storage room where their basket and litter box is kept, trying to sneak out more and more, giving endless laugh, but also headache, to Sanghyuk and Wonshik. “Taekwoonie hyung, I mean…”
Sanghyuk suppresses a bafflingly stupid grin. He thinks about the feeling of Taekwoon’s fingers brushing across his hand, the secretive, tiny smiles they exchange while working when the client is not looking at them, remembers the slow but steady rhythm of growing closer and closer; the way the tiring summer sun glistens in his dark, dark hair and the way he devours ice cream like it was the nectars of Heaven. The thinks of his quiet, unwavering voice that changes from ice-cold to warm and safe within seconds, the adoring, openly loving gaze he gives Leo (and all other pets, too), and his grin only grows wider.
Taekwoon is like a song in a foreign language, one that Sanghyuk doesn’t understand or never even heard of before, but still keeps listening to, determined to make out the lyrics eventually, even if he has to look up the meanings word by word.
“Yeah. Yeah, I am” he finally nods, not like Wonshik doesn’t understand already, because Sanghyuk thinks it’s just the most obvious thing in the world.
~*~
Their first kiss happens at the movie theatre - but is nothing like any first kisses in the movies.
Sanghyuk persuades Taekwoon into going to see the new Batman movie with him (and one week of constant whining and none too subtle hints is quite hard work at persuasion in Sanghyuk’s dictionary), both because he loves Batman movies and because it would be a nice change to do something together that is not strolling in the park or working at the shelter or talking about Sanghyuk’s future prospects in life. The theatre is dark and quite empty as it is a Wednesday afternoon, and Bruce Wayne is having an identity crisis of some sort on the screen when Sanghyuk suddenly turns to Taekwoon and presses his lips against his mouth.
He’s quick to turn back away, though, so quick that he’s sure nobody even noticed - for a moment he’s not even positive Taekwoon has noticed but then a hand sneaks onto his thigh and squeezes ever so lightly and when he sneaks a peak, Taekwoon is smirking, obviously not at the quickly approaching doom of Gotham city.
Their second kiss happens later that day, when Taekwoon takes Sanghyuk home and promptly kisses him goodbye. He tastes like popcorn and soda, mostly, but also tastes like something Sanghyuk may get addicted to, even just in small, almost innocent doses. Their third one comes two days later, in the kitchen, because Taekwoon is so freaking adorable when he messes something up and starts cursing under his breath so quietly it’s impossible to make out the words he says.
Leo is to blame for the fourth kiss - Sanghyuk thinks he’s found a partner-in-crime when the dog tears the leash out of his hand and launches himself at a couple squirrels with such force he knocks Sanghyuk into Taekwoon, limbs tangled in the leash, making them both stumble and fall on top of each other onto the woozy grass. They laugh for a long time after that, because this is the cheesiest picture of all rom-coms.
“This is so corny…” Taekwoon whispers, and yet, still steals a tiny kiss from Sanghyuk’s wide grin, before rolling off him and starting to yell at his insufferable dog.
The fifth is also initiated by Sanghyuk but - finally! - involves some tongue and an unsure hand in Taekwoon’s hair that leaves both of them kind of dizzy and breathless. And Sanghyuk never loses count.
He never asks Taekwoon about the whole thing - it just doesn’t seem like it would make sense, or that he should, that Taekwoon would want to talk, really, it’s already quite simple and obvious this way … But about two weeks later, deep into the heavy, bone-draining heat of August, he becomes extremely sorry that he didn’t.
~*~
It’s actually a little surprising that he’s been at the shelter for so long now - the kittens, now proudly bearing the names Nicole and Kimberly, have grown so much they have started side-eyeing Ken, who never fails to warn the entire neighbourhood about them, his loud “What to do?!”s driving Wonshik and Hakyeon positively insane.
And yet, there has never been one “business dinner”, one night where they all gather after work and go out together to eat and possibly get shit-faced drunk - something that Sanghyuk dearly misses now that it’s been so long since his friends have actually had time to terrorize Hongdae with him, in the midst of their busy summer holidaying. But then as Friday rolls around, Jaehwan greets him by throwing an arm around his shoulder with an excited grin, and asks if he has any plans for tonight that he might want to cancel, and oh yes, he’s been waiting for this for so long. Free food and drinks are something Sanghyuk gladly clears his non-existent schedule for.
He only takes about one and a half hour getting ready that night, changing shirts six consecutive times before finally deciding on a decent, polka-dot piece that has a classy enough cut but is still fresh and unique with its bright blue colour. His hair takes another fifteen minutes to be done, and while he idly wonders if Taekwoon would even notice, he’s enjoying himself immensely so it doesn’t even matter. That much.
Besides, if nobody else, Hakyeon hyung would notice for sure.
Jaehwan arrives to pick him up at eight, and when they get to the restaurant, Wonshik and Taekwoon are already there. The place itself is just this side of fancy - it’s big and old and looks traditional, and there is a TV in the separate room that they have reserved, with high, western-style laid table and soft cushions on the chairs. Taekwoon motions him over to sit next to him and Wonshik shoves a shot of soju right into his hand - before even ordering any food, this is gonna be so awesome. Hakyeon is not there yet, but he’s supposed to arrive shortly, meanwhile, they are free to start dinner, which Sanghyuk would actually refrain from, considering common-sense politeness, but Jaehwan flips him off with an endearing “Who the fuck cares about Hakyeon anyways?”
The lamp hanging from the ceiling is made to look like it holds a hundred candles - they scatter tiny spots of light everywhere, and there are way more drinks than food, although Wonshik and Sanghyuk make it their mission to determinate who can eat more, which turns out to be a fairly tight match.
Jaehwan and Taekwoon are all laughs as they watch them, and Taekwoon’s hand finds its way onto Sanghyuk’s thigh some time between the cheese and the seafood ddeokbokki like it belongs there. Sanghyuk’s head is getting a little dizzy and, surprisingly enough, Taekwoon’s cheeks are also getting one shade pinker by each pitcher of beer - he seemed like someone who can hold their liquor extremely well, Sanghyuk thinks.
Jaehwan can’t stop telling jokes that are totally not funny but make them all laugh with the way he is telling them, impersonating each and every character in a different voice. Wonshik stops checking his phone every three minutes and Sanghyuk is just happy that he doesn’t need to constantly wonder where the heck Taekwoon could possibly be, because he’s right there, right next to him, palm open under the absent-minded touches of Sanghyuk’s fingers. They sit close, as close as it’s still comfortable, and it’s just perfect, really. It’s just laid-back and comforting, it’s Taekwoon and friends and food and beer and laughter and Taekwoon, again, and Sanghyuk can’t remember the last occasion he’s had such a great time.
When the door slides open and Hakyeon steps in with the biggest smile on his face that Sanghyuk thinks he’s ever seen - which is quite something when one talks about Hakyeon - Wonshik immediately jumps up to hurry to him, but Hakyeon kind of shoos him aside, clearing his throat for an announcement.
“You guys! Look who’s returned to Korea and decided to rejoin us!” he winks, clearly proud of himself seeing the expectant faces of his friends, and steps aside to let someone else in.
When that someone steps inside the room, many things happen simultaneously. Jaehwan cries out in surprise and jumps to his feet to fling himself at the newcomer, and ends up being knocked aside by Wonshik who yells something that sounds like “Yah Lee Hongbin!” with the stupidest, happiest grin ever, and Sanghyuk’s chin kind of hits the floor when he finally sets his eyes on the guy who might just be the walking definition of handsome himself.
But the thing he really notices, the thing that still makes his blood run thin and cold and his heart throb in the most annoying, most shocked way is how Taekwoon’s body goes completely rigid and motionless, how all colour runs out of his face and how quickly he yanks his hand out of Sanghyuk’s, distancing himself from the boy immediately, as if he wasn’t even there.
Something bitter clogs Sanghyuk’s throat and he can’t hear the words that Taekwoon murmurs to himself in the general cacophony of happiness, but when he sneaks a glance at his frozen expression, he can easily read it off his barely moving lips.
It’s one word over and over again - “Hongbin”.
~*~
(part 3)