(no subject)
I dont know what to do any more. This is utter bull shit. I dont feel like having sex, so I guess I dont love him any more and Because of other people. It has been a while... But...
When you have to rush through because of the intruption of parents, or You are in a park.... I feel like a dirty whore. And I just dont want too okay?
So than It turns to "Fine you tell me when we can have sex"
Or
"What did I do wrong, You're punishing me..."
I dont know why I dont want too okay? I have No idea. I dont know. I just dont get it. What am I supposed to do, Have sex so you can feel like you are loved.... so you can use me to feel good about you.... Is that what Im supposed to do?!
I wish I could just hide. I Want to love him, I want to be with Him, so Its my fault. I am doing this to my self right?
So here I bitch, though no one wants to hear it... There is one simple way out.... Its so easy to see the light.... So easy! Dont let him Do this to you, dont take it. Tell him to take a hike. Tell him to fuck off, you're better with out of him.
Right or wrong, regardless, I cant say good bye. Im not done yet.... It isnt finished..... I dont know what else to do....
I hate my self
I Hate who I am
I am so fucked up
I just want to breath....
I just want to...
............
Live...............
I wish it was so easy..... To just give it up.... No FUCK OFF it isnt. FUCK YOU, I cant.
"Well what do you want me to do about it?"
NOTHING. Just listen.... So when Im screaming my self to sleep at least I know some one heard me.
Here is my grave and I have laid in it, and here I still lay. I dont want pitty. I dont want sympathy. I Just want some one to care. Some one to hear these screams. Some one who knows what its like to know the easy way out, but chooses for the sake of love to stew in it. I know you're out there.... I know....
I feel so empty
So ALONE.
I know that I will survive this: weather im whole at the end or not is A different story....
When you have to rush through because of the intruption of parents, or You are in a park.... I feel like a dirty whore. And I just dont want too okay?
So than It turns to "Fine you tell me when we can have sex"
Or
"What did I do wrong, You're punishing me..."
I dont know why I dont want too okay? I have No idea. I dont know. I just dont get it. What am I supposed to do, Have sex so you can feel like you are loved.... so you can use me to feel good about you.... Is that what Im supposed to do?!
I wish I could just hide. I Want to love him, I want to be with Him, so Its my fault. I am doing this to my self right?
So here I bitch, though no one wants to hear it... There is one simple way out.... Its so easy to see the light.... So easy! Dont let him Do this to you, dont take it. Tell him to take a hike. Tell him to fuck off, you're better with out of him.
Right or wrong, regardless, I cant say good bye. Im not done yet.... It isnt finished..... I dont know what else to do....
I hate my self
I Hate who I am
I am so fucked up
I just want to breath....
I just want to...
............
Live...............
I wish it was so easy..... To just give it up.... No FUCK OFF it isnt. FUCK YOU, I cant.
"Well what do you want me to do about it?"
NOTHING. Just listen.... So when Im screaming my self to sleep at least I know some one heard me.
Here is my grave and I have laid in it, and here I still lay. I dont want pitty. I dont want sympathy. I Just want some one to care. Some one to hear these screams. Some one who knows what its like to know the easy way out, but chooses for the sake of love to stew in it. I know you're out there.... I know....
I feel so empty
So ALONE.
I know that I will survive this: weather im whole at the end or not is A different story....