Where is my plus sized bikini. Edit: Found It
I posted this on my FB the other day. Super body positive, right? Isn't is awesome how positive it is? I wish every day every one of every size would put on a bikini because bikinis are awesome. They're easy to swim in. They don't have nearly as much drag in the water as ill fitting one pieces or tankinis. Plus, let's face it, they're sexy and everyone wants to feel sexy, right? Right. Feeling sexy is nice. Plus, if you're at the pool it's probably hot as hell and no one wants that much clothing on.
Here's the problem. Here's the reality of plus size and bikini.
Old Navy makes an XXL bathing suit. I wear a large in most of their clothing so it would be safe to assume I could wear something like a large in their swim wear, but I figured play it safe let's buy the largest top offered. I mean, how progressive of them, right? What a way to recognize plus size girls want in on the bikini action! HIGH FIVE OLD NAVY!
This is what came in the mail. I put it on, Mike made an off hand comment of, "It's supposed to look like that right?" and completely crushed I pulled it off and threw it in the corner while I debated giving it away to someone way less chesty or taking it back.
Then the first picture I posted showed up on facebook and a rousing discussion erupted between my friend Vagina Jenkins, her friend Keedy, and me. Mostly going in circles about how XXL is a lie (btw the L bottoms that I ordered fit like a dream, insult to injury yes?) and several sites and clothing stores being thrown out and around. Let's discuss those, shall we?
The two most talked about were Lane Bryant and Torrid. We'll take on Lane Bryant first.
http://www.lanebryant.com/sexy-plus-size-intimate-apparel/bras/bra-sizes-f-g-h/4043c4044c4054/index.cat
That really long link is to their f,g, and h sized bras. I wear a 38G in their bras. What they don't show you in the balconette pictures is how sexy the actual bras are. Lots of cleavage and very comfortable. Hot, right? Wouldn't that be amazing as swimwear?
However if we scoot on over to the swimwear it's all one pieces and tankinis. Frumpy one pieces and tankinis.
Torrid? The same.
Do they not have any idea how negative that is? You can be sexy, sultry, seductive SO LONG AS YOU WEAR CLOTHING OVER IT. If you want to leave the house in that little of clothing YOU MUST COVER YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY.
Um, oh sorry. I didn't realize. How about fuck you very much for basically telling my fat ass I'm only allowed to be that naked under my clothes.
Next we have what is almost the mecca:
biggalslingerie.com
Though there are still unfortunate problems. I am an XL on the bottom and something like a 2 or possibly 3X on top. They do not sell separates. Worse, the only halter styles they seem to carry come with the most frumpy, ass covering bottoms ever. If I'm going to have that much top coverage please let me let my ass hang out. Please.
So our final destinations are places like:
figleaves.com
bellelingerie.com
biggirlbras.com
Basically the websites who carry the bra style tops with whatever size bottoms you want. That you have to pay an arm and a leg for. That come from the UK.
BECAUSE THE UK SAYS FINE TO BIG GIRLS WEARING BIKINIS BUT FUCK YOU AMERICANS. America doesn't want us fat girls to have fun. And to that I say fuck you.
FUCK YOU.
I mean it's rad I can get what I need from over the pond, but that's so not cool that America doesn't have nearly the equivalent. The closest we have are specialty stores like (locally anyway) Livi Rae and Intimacy that have high mark ups on the UK brands that they carry. So if ordering from over the pond isn't pricey enough trying to nip that shipping fee in the bud doesn't help much.
There are also lovely places like Land's End that apparently do quasi bra sized swim but they don't carry my bra size and when I looked at their plus sizes they not only had one pieces and tankinis but swim dresses.
Swim dresses! Didn't we hate those in the 50s? Why do we want them back? What woman under the age of 90 wants a swim dress?
Now, for those of you, my wonderful modest/conservative friends please understand I am not mocking, insulting, or trying to belittle you. I'm glad there is a market that caters to you and you are comfortable in clothing that covers more. I am happy that it works for you.
I've just found one pieces to be incredibly unsupportive and tankinis to really not be any better.
So my rage at clothing companies rage on. It doesn't help when I read sites that say wonderful things like, "Don't consider surgery! It's not your body's fault. It's perfect how it is, it's those clothing companies fault!"
That's lovely. It really is. Except I can't leave the house naked in protest without being arrested. Thus I'm forced to support the companies that poorly cover my body because clothing made specifically for the curvy has a high price point and it's depressing thinking about what I'd have to spend to have a closet full of well fitting clothing.
Tailoring isn't much more promising.
So that's your body rant of the day. Sorry it's long and filled with pictures.
EDIT!
I contacted biggalslingerie and 1. Holy shit fast reply turn around. 2. http://www.biggalslingerie.com/xtras2.html
They have an extras page where you can order things separately and have them made in the same fabric. I am shitting myself with pure joy.
Pure. Joy. Still won't have it in time for my vacation but now I will have my dream bikini and that rules.