I Will Learn to Smile and Pretend to Like You, Someday
My arch nemesis returned to the store today. If anyone remembers her this is the same woman who, while I was off the clock and trying to walk into the store called me "Preggers" or "Preggo" I don't remember now. Then tried to tell me over and over and over again, despite my protests, about "how much bigger you've gotten". I hadn't. Really. You couldn't tell I was pregnant when wearing my apron. If you could have more people wouldn't have looked so fucking shocked when I told them, yes, I was pregnant. SO, the fact that I wasn't wearing my apron? Probably made me look bigger since you could actually see me from the front.
Not the point.
Don't argue with me when I am completely aware of the state of my body. I had plenty of clothing to tell me when I had or had not gotten bigger. How did I know? Clothes stopped fitting.
Either way, after finally escaping her and hiding in the back, once I had to get back on the floor I tried to avoid her as much as possible but no. She wouldn't shut up or go away.
I've seen her a few times since and pretended I have no idea who she is or that she exists. Today she decided I really needed to remember by asking if I had my twins. It took everything in me to not say, "Oh, you're in here ALLLLLLL the time, can't you tell by the obvious size of my body that I did? Or how about the fact that I wasn't here for three months? Don't you know everything you FUCKING PUSHY KNOW IT ALL BITCH." It took even more restraint to not dead pan say, "No. They died. Thanks for bringing it up."
Instead I dead pan stared at her and said, "Yes."
She asked to see pictures. I pretended they were anywhere but near me. Except, you know, my phone was 6 inches away from me. She wanted to know all about them.
IF I DON'T BRING UP MY KIDS I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THEM.
Though I did proceed to go into extreme detail about my kids to like the next person who came in because David is rad and was totally shocked in general that I had kids. And I see him at least twice a day when I work. I hoped she over heard because she is SUCH A FLAMING CUNT RAG.
Ugh. Either way, dude. I am paid to talk to you 9 out of 10 times. Not because I like you, because paycheck depends on it. So seriously. If I'm not answering your questions it's because I don't like you, you make me uncomfortable, and I don't want you to know anything about me because I think you're a horrible, flaming bitch.
Not the point.
Don't argue with me when I am completely aware of the state of my body. I had plenty of clothing to tell me when I had or had not gotten bigger. How did I know? Clothes stopped fitting.
Either way, after finally escaping her and hiding in the back, once I had to get back on the floor I tried to avoid her as much as possible but no. She wouldn't shut up or go away.
I've seen her a few times since and pretended I have no idea who she is or that she exists. Today she decided I really needed to remember by asking if I had my twins. It took everything in me to not say, "Oh, you're in here ALLLLLLL the time, can't you tell by the obvious size of my body that I did? Or how about the fact that I wasn't here for three months? Don't you know everything you FUCKING PUSHY KNOW IT ALL BITCH." It took even more restraint to not dead pan say, "No. They died. Thanks for bringing it up."
Instead I dead pan stared at her and said, "Yes."
She asked to see pictures. I pretended they were anywhere but near me. Except, you know, my phone was 6 inches away from me. She wanted to know all about them.
IF I DON'T BRING UP MY KIDS I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THEM.
Though I did proceed to go into extreme detail about my kids to like the next person who came in because David is rad and was totally shocked in general that I had kids. And I see him at least twice a day when I work. I hoped she over heard because she is SUCH A FLAMING CUNT RAG.
Ugh. Either way, dude. I am paid to talk to you 9 out of 10 times. Not because I like you, because paycheck depends on it. So seriously. If I'm not answering your questions it's because I don't like you, you make me uncomfortable, and I don't want you to know anything about me because I think you're a horrible, flaming bitch.