John Hefner IS (almost certainly not) Hector Hammond in GREEN LANTERN
I occasionally get automated e-mails this online talent agency type dealie I signed up for a couple years ago, back when I was trying to get professional acting goals.
You know how it works: it's free to sign up and post a profile--complete with headshots, resume, stats, and whatnot--and they automatically hook you up with a whole bunch of audition opportunities that fit your criteria. Of course, if you want to respond to any of them, you need to sign up for a paid account. Basically, it's just like online dating sites (and I still get e-mails from those old accounts too, for that matter).
Today, however, I got an e-mail that caught my attention. Apparently, they're casting major roles for the GREEN LANTERN movie with Ryan Reynolds. And I fit the criteria required for the role of the villain:
Role # 3 - DR. HECTOR HAMMOND
Submission Successful
09-18-09 11:54pm
Seeking 1 talent(s) for this role
A pathologist. He is cold and harsh. He is pretty despicable.
For those not familiar with Hammond, he's a douchebag with a pervestache who gets exposed to cosmic radiaton...
... which grants him super psionic immortal mind-controlling-douchebag powers...
... eventually leaving him crippled but incredibly powerful, with a ginormous head to boot. And a mustache so magnificent, it's a bitter irony that he cannot lift his arms to twirl it. He had to brainwash slaves to twirl his stache for him. He has that power.
Now, here's the thing. Don't think I'm not suspicious and cynical about the whole audition notice. Allowing non-union actors to audition for the MAJOR roles of Abin Sur, Sinestro, Carol, and Hammond? Yeah, smells like bullshit to me. Although chud.com did a whole piece of it and Hammond's inclusion (written by my favorite joyless bastard, Devin Faraci, who hates all this Hal and GL anyway) so the auditions themselves seem legit.
But even if so, my chances are pretty frelling slim mainly for the fact that I have absolutely zero acting experience in film/TV. I'm purely theatre, and community/college theatre at that. I mean, I know I have it in me to play a creep, a sleaze, a cold and pathological villain. Just give me a good director, and I can pull it off. Seriously, I can't tell you how many times I've done roles like Hank in John Halder in GOOD in DOCTOR FAUSTUS and get comments from people who are so amazed to discover that, holy crap, I actually have range! I just wish I had video proof of this, but damn it, I have nothing!
Besides, my profile on that site is so ridiculously out of date that... well, I still have a full head of hair in my headshot, that's how long it's been. I haven't head headshots in years, just those Roy Cox glamor/publicity photos! I figured I couldn't possibly use any of those! Hell, the first set are virtually useless to me now due to the fact that, at the time, I was sporting a lame, sleazy goat... tee...
And then it hit me. Yes. Yes, I do have a picture to use, don't I?
So yeah, I know, I'm almost certainly not going to even get a call of interest, much less an audition out of this. And of course, getting my account canceled before the 7-day-trial-period is up will be a pain in the ass. But damn it, it'll be worth the trouble, even just to submit an anemic resume so that I can include this picture:
"Why, Miss Ferris, where do you think you're going? Don't bother answering. I already know."
God, I knew that horrible little perv-beard would come in handy one day.
You know how it works: it's free to sign up and post a profile--complete with headshots, resume, stats, and whatnot--and they automatically hook you up with a whole bunch of audition opportunities that fit your criteria. Of course, if you want to respond to any of them, you need to sign up for a paid account. Basically, it's just like online dating sites (and I still get e-mails from those old accounts too, for that matter).
Today, however, I got an e-mail that caught my attention. Apparently, they're casting major roles for the GREEN LANTERN movie with Ryan Reynolds. And I fit the criteria required for the role of the villain:
Role # 3 - DR. HECTOR HAMMOND
Submission Successful
09-18-09 11:54pm
Seeking 1 talent(s) for this role
A pathologist. He is cold and harsh. He is pretty despicable.
For those not familiar with Hammond, he's a douchebag with a pervestache who gets exposed to cosmic radiaton...
... which grants him super psionic immortal mind-controlling-douchebag powers...
... eventually leaving him crippled but incredibly powerful, with a ginormous head to boot. And a mustache so magnificent, it's a bitter irony that he cannot lift his arms to twirl it. He had to brainwash slaves to twirl his stache for him. He has that power.
Now, here's the thing. Don't think I'm not suspicious and cynical about the whole audition notice. Allowing non-union actors to audition for the MAJOR roles of Abin Sur, Sinestro, Carol, and Hammond? Yeah, smells like bullshit to me. Although chud.com did a whole piece of it and Hammond's inclusion (written by my favorite joyless bastard, Devin Faraci, who hates all this Hal and GL anyway) so the auditions themselves seem legit.
But even if so, my chances are pretty frelling slim mainly for the fact that I have absolutely zero acting experience in film/TV. I'm purely theatre, and community/college theatre at that. I mean, I know I have it in me to play a creep, a sleaze, a cold and pathological villain. Just give me a good director, and I can pull it off. Seriously, I can't tell you how many times I've done roles like Hank in John Halder in GOOD in DOCTOR FAUSTUS and get comments from people who are so amazed to discover that, holy crap, I actually have range! I just wish I had video proof of this, but damn it, I have nothing!
Besides, my profile on that site is so ridiculously out of date that... well, I still have a full head of hair in my headshot, that's how long it's been. I haven't head headshots in years, just those Roy Cox glamor/publicity photos! I figured I couldn't possibly use any of those! Hell, the first set are virtually useless to me now due to the fact that, at the time, I was sporting a lame, sleazy goat... tee...
And then it hit me. Yes. Yes, I do have a picture to use, don't I?
So yeah, I know, I'm almost certainly not going to even get a call of interest, much less an audition out of this. And of course, getting my account canceled before the 7-day-trial-period is up will be a pain in the ass. But damn it, it'll be worth the trouble, even just to submit an anemic resume so that I can include this picture:
"Why, Miss Ferris, where do you think you're going? Don't bother answering. I already know."
God, I knew that horrible little perv-beard would come in handy one day.