four weeks
must not make the same mistakes, i know i know. but i find myself completely captivated. i hope, sincerely hope, i find something like this when the time is right. because maybe true love can exist. i know i am capable of falling in love, and i know that one guy is out for me, even though i find him standing in front of me. but i must prove to myself that i can put my goals before any guy. ugh, it's so hard. i already know i am going to be so heartbroken when the time comes, but at least i know ive met someone who has changed how i felt and finally ill be in a city that'll make me feel beyond what i can imagine. i just wish, i could have both. i hope i'll fall in love, hard enough that divorce will never come into play. i hope i dont make the same mistakes as my parents, i hope all the movies can prove to be true, i hope i can find my true love and happiness. i am scared. i dont want to be hurt and sad anymore. i just want someone to be by my side and make me happy forever for the rest of my life. i wish it could be him. it's so easy to throw logic, but you can't ever explain someone's feelings for someone else. you can look down upon it, you can think nothing of it, you can think it's stupid and pure nonsense, but you can't ever tell someone how they should feel. this sucks. each day i find it easier and harder at the same time. it's almost like no one can understand, so i just feel stupid. tomorrow i am booking my flight. it is going to be so bittersweet. i hope i find someone in the future who can make me feel the same way. this is going to suck so bad for me.