(no subject)

[thegreenbear]

This is my voice. This is my preferred voice. A handful of people know this voice and know that this is my true voice. I have two of them, you know. Depending on how you engage me, you will get either the calmly thinking and comfortably expressing side of me or you will get the somewhat nervous and jumbling side that wants to be liked and thought of as cool, but tries too hard to word and do things perfectly. It is that first voice that I hear when I am in social settings, but far too often, it is the latter that opens it's fat mouth and inserts foot. It is the first that falls in love and becomes afraid to speak. It is the second that cannot shut the hell up and ruins any chances the first might have had. To anyone out there that might have ever had any interest in me, romantic or otherwise, allow me to apologize on behalf of the first.

No, nothing is wrong. I've just been a bit introspective tonight and thinking about a great many things. In the past decade, particularly the past three years, I have only met a handful of people to whom I felt any real particular attraction. These are the folks that I imagine exist for everyone; What began as a physical attraction led to the discovery that there was potential for more on both sides, but that potential was crushed by that second voice that spoke up and ruined everything.

So, on behalf of the first voice, I hope your lives are happy ones and I wish you nothing but the best in all things.