On Disability and Illness and Things People Say
The following is basically a rant, feel free to ignore if you'd like.
Got linked to an interesting journal entry today. For those who haven't seen it, it's on the topic of "Tell me what I can do to help"/"If there's anything I can do, just let me know" and how difficult/annoying they can be. If you're so inclined, go, read it, it's worthwhile. I find the views expressed in the comments, particularly this thread (currently 2 comments) more accurately reflect my views on the matter. This, however, is not the topic of this post.
Amoung many other things, it got me to thinking about the sort of comments you see/hear when somebody has talked about a sick friend or relative, or something similar. This is the topic of this post.
This is something that has bugged me for some time and I've never actually really had the chance to rant about. The stereotypical situation I'm thinking of is someone having a grandparent in the hospital, in serious condition, but this applies often to similar situations. A post or mention of this sick relative is often met with a chorus of "There there, everything will be ok."/"I'm sure everything will turn out fine." or similar expressions. Having grown up in a family full of doctors and having some background knowledge I all to often want to slap people and yell "You stupid fool,
is f***ing dying! It's not going to be ok!"
To me it always seems insulting and terribly ignorant to say things will turn out ok when there is usually little known about the actual medical state, and it is obvious from context that it is a serious matter.
Is this just me being too literal minded? Is that really the socially accepted response? I get that it's supportive, but I tend to stick with a safer "Fingers crossed"/"Hoping for the best" kind of response. It's just that sometimes I know that even the best realistic outcome is something less than what I'd consider ok or fine.
If you got this far, I'd appreciate your feedback.
Got linked to an interesting journal entry today. For those who haven't seen it, it's on the topic of "Tell me what I can do to help"/"If there's anything I can do, just let me know" and how difficult/annoying they can be. If you're so inclined, go, read it, it's worthwhile. I find the views expressed in the comments, particularly this thread (currently 2 comments) more accurately reflect my views on the matter. This, however, is not the topic of this post.
Amoung many other things, it got me to thinking about the sort of comments you see/hear when somebody has talked about a sick friend or relative, or something similar. This is the topic of this post.
This is something that has bugged me for some time and I've never actually really had the chance to rant about. The stereotypical situation I'm thinking of is someone having a grandparent in the hospital, in serious condition, but this applies often to similar situations. A post or mention of this sick relative is often met with a chorus of "There there, everything will be ok."/"I'm sure everything will turn out fine." or similar expressions. Having grown up in a family full of doctors and having some background knowledge I all to often want to slap people and yell "You stupid fool,
is f***ing dying! It's not going to be ok!"
To me it always seems insulting and terribly ignorant to say things will turn out ok when there is usually little known about the actual medical state, and it is obvious from context that it is a serious matter.
Is this just me being too literal minded? Is that really the socially accepted response? I get that it's supportive, but I tend to stick with a safer "Fingers crossed"/"Hoping for the best" kind of response. It's just that sometimes I know that even the best realistic outcome is something less than what I'd consider ok or fine.
If you got this far, I'd appreciate your feedback.