Really, it was inevitable
I have gotten really bored with being single and decided it's time to start dating again, or really, looking for someone to date. Because my friendship group is so insular I have no one left in town that used to be on my "If I break up with my SO I'll go after them" list, and I honestly don't think that anyone I'm friends with could think of any more distant friends or acquaintances that they could set me up with.
So three days ago I set up a profile on OKCupid. It has a feature where you can answer questions and list how you're ideal match would answer the same questions and it uses that suggest people to you. The way I answered trended towards intelligence and liberalism, so it's bringing up all these guys who say they spend a lot of time thinking about deep stuff or with technical interests... and most of them seem like pretentious douchebags.
I know that some of it is that writing a profile is awkward, especially if you are nerdy and a little shy about admitting it, so that probably accounts for some of it. But I live in a college town, so there are also lots of pretentious douchebags. And I'm not sure there is a good way to weed out the nervous nerds from the other guys.
I've already gotten a couple messages from guys, but I haven't answered yet because I have no idea what to say. I am trying to remind myself that at this stage it is all low-importance... like I can message these guys back and forth or meet a guy for coffee and it doesn't have to mean anything or go anywhere. This is more about developing my dating skills than finding someone to ride off into the sunset with.
When you log in on OKCupid it show you a page with three big pictures/profile links and says "Here are some matches you might like." Today when I logged in the first match listed was my ex. His probable compatibility rating with me was something like 80% match/86% friend/19% enemy. I really wanted to see how he answered the match questions but I didn't go look because then he would be able to see that I had been looking at his profile. Also I just on-principle don't want to be the kind of still-has-baggage ex that looks at their ex's profile.
It's funny though because 80% match or 20% enemy is as low/high as I figured it would be worth bothering with in terms of match probability.
So three days ago I set up a profile on OKCupid. It has a feature where you can answer questions and list how you're ideal match would answer the same questions and it uses that suggest people to you. The way I answered trended towards intelligence and liberalism, so it's bringing up all these guys who say they spend a lot of time thinking about deep stuff or with technical interests... and most of them seem like pretentious douchebags.
I know that some of it is that writing a profile is awkward, especially if you are nerdy and a little shy about admitting it, so that probably accounts for some of it. But I live in a college town, so there are also lots of pretentious douchebags. And I'm not sure there is a good way to weed out the nervous nerds from the other guys.
I've already gotten a couple messages from guys, but I haven't answered yet because I have no idea what to say. I am trying to remind myself that at this stage it is all low-importance... like I can message these guys back and forth or meet a guy for coffee and it doesn't have to mean anything or go anywhere. This is more about developing my dating skills than finding someone to ride off into the sunset with.
When you log in on OKCupid it show you a page with three big pictures/profile links and says "Here are some matches you might like." Today when I logged in the first match listed was my ex. His probable compatibility rating with me was something like 80% match/86% friend/19% enemy. I really wanted to see how he answered the match questions but I didn't go look because then he would be able to see that I had been looking at his profile. Also I just on-principle don't want to be the kind of still-has-baggage ex that looks at their ex's profile.
It's funny though because 80% match or 20% enemy is as low/high as I figured it would be worth bothering with in terms of match probability.