Nothing compares
The best thing about not being scheduled on a Thursday is having Dan over for Futurama. Thwarted due to illness. The cough is now chestal and rattle-y. I think I made both of those words up. But, being both accurate and descriptive, I deem them appropriate. More nasally congested and cough is more productive. All of these facts lead me to believe that this is not whooping cough. I sound like an engine that won't turn.
NY boy has a new girl! I like this one. I feel like she is going to be good for him. I don't know her, obviously, but I just get that vibe. I think now he finally realizes that I was serious when I said that the reasons I didn't want him to be with his ex were unselfish. It's funny... people are so used to other people having ulterior motives that, even when someone cares for them the right way, they still don't trust it. I loved him like a friend. And, thinking back on it, I am really glad things didn't go further between us, because it would have never worked out. I think I somewhat knew that then. He's very flighty. I think when he finally is able to let himself be vulnerable and honest with someone, he will have a lot to give, but for now, he is too afraid to do that, so he keeps up his player facade. Or maybe that is just giving him too much credit. Probably. Anyway, I am glad for him.
I've been talking to a new boy. This is another thing that will never work out. I know that already. He has a lot of.... little boy qualities. That actually are kind of endearing... but... even though he's a good 6 years older than me, I still feel like he is too young. He's fun though, and I like to hang out with him. I just hope he's not looking for anything real cause it's not happening.
I miss work. My job gives me meaning. I feel like I am who I should be when I am in my nurse-role. It's a very unique experience to take care of someone when they are most vulnerable. I feel so lucky that I have that piece in my life. If I didn't have the job I have, I would feel so lacking. It makes me so human. Connecting to a person purely. It's love, actually. It's more than a job, it's medicine for my soul. Some time away makes me realize it. I hope I can go back on Monday.
NY boy has a new girl! I like this one. I feel like she is going to be good for him. I don't know her, obviously, but I just get that vibe. I think now he finally realizes that I was serious when I said that the reasons I didn't want him to be with his ex were unselfish. It's funny... people are so used to other people having ulterior motives that, even when someone cares for them the right way, they still don't trust it. I loved him like a friend. And, thinking back on it, I am really glad things didn't go further between us, because it would have never worked out. I think I somewhat knew that then. He's very flighty. I think when he finally is able to let himself be vulnerable and honest with someone, he will have a lot to give, but for now, he is too afraid to do that, so he keeps up his player facade. Or maybe that is just giving him too much credit. Probably. Anyway, I am glad for him.
I've been talking to a new boy. This is another thing that will never work out. I know that already. He has a lot of.... little boy qualities. That actually are kind of endearing... but... even though he's a good 6 years older than me, I still feel like he is too young. He's fun though, and I like to hang out with him. I just hope he's not looking for anything real cause it's not happening.
I miss work. My job gives me meaning. I feel like I am who I should be when I am in my nurse-role. It's a very unique experience to take care of someone when they are most vulnerable. I feel so lucky that I have that piece in my life. If I didn't have the job I have, I would feel so lacking. It makes me so human. Connecting to a person purely. It's love, actually. It's more than a job, it's medicine for my soul. Some time away makes me realize it. I hope I can go back on Monday.