Completely Unasked For Review: Man of Steel
Well, shit...that was actually a good Zack Snyder film. I'm in shock.
(Spoilers, blahblahblah)
I think satansmonkey hit all the fun marks of the film in his 'review,' such as the hilarious space dicks that take people to the Phantom Zone. The negative reviews I have heard all seem to be based on people having their own idea of what Superman should be instead of just going in and taking it as its own thing. As for a movie about a guy from another world who has super powers, it was a fully fleshed-out modern take on the character. This ain't the 30s or the 50s anymore. Characters are more complex now.
I went in expecting a guy with superhuman powers beating the shit out of other guys with superhuman powers...something I have been waiting for since Matrix Revolutions showed that an ass-kicking Superman movie was finally possible. The scenes with Clark and his parents definitely gave the film its heart and helped make him a real person instead of a cold demigod.
But on to the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly!
The Good:
- The muthafuckin' action, yo! 40 minutes of Superman using every trick in his arsenal (except the super-breath...boo!), against other superpowered villains. With predictable results. As io9 said, Snyder clearly thought about how people with super-strength and super-speed would fight.
- Faora (the female Kryptonian), was definitely the bad ass of the film. And I loved that her adversary/nemesis was a regular human warrior. They should get a room.
- The military was actually competent, not a bunch of douchebags, and helped save the world as much as Superman did. (that being said, they really gotta stop shooting Kryptonians and not noticing it doesn't work. It was almost Davies-era Doctor Who level silliness, like everyone who ever shot a Dalek not realizing they were having zero-effect. *sigh*)
- Ma & Pa Kent. The flashbacks in general, really. They definitely added a sense of realism and normalcy to Superman, as well as being able to relate to him. Sort of an, "If I were him," feeling. He was just an average 'Joe' who also happened to be a god.
- SuperCrowe! Goddamn, Jor-El is one bad mutha...shut yo mouth! I guess they teach scientists on Krypton has to kick massive ass, cause he had an epic swim, rode a mounted fell beast, and beat the shit out of Zod.
- Little nods to Superman lore and previous films. Other than the fact that most of the film was based on the Geoff Johns/Richard Donner "Last Son" storyline in the comics, there was the baby space pod that looked like the Donner version (in the Jor-El history lesson on the ship), and...shit...other stuff, too. I'm late for work, so I can't remeber them all. Anyone?
- Superdickery!! Once he rearranged that guy's truck, I cheered. They went there. Superman is a Dick!
- A competent Lois, who actually figures out who he is all by herself. Other than being an actual journalist, it also adds a nat dynamic to their relationship going forward.
- Sneaky Zack Snyder with his flashbacks. By the time he was on the ship and ANOTHER DAMN FLASHBACK started I was about to throw up my hands. Then it turned out it wasn't a flashback at all, but Zod inside his mind. Well, played, sirs. You got me.
THE BAD:
- Michael Shannon. Once he started talking, the train fell off the tracks. Everyone had gravitas and eloquence, and this shrill-voiced American brat shows up. His dialogue sounded bad-ass, but it was delivered by the wrong dude. It was almost like Rose McGowan in Conan. Just out of place.
- They didn't just go terraform Mars because why? Was Zod just too pissed off?
THE UGLY:
- Holy god, there was a lot of death in this film. He saved one soldier from falling, but otherwise blew up half of Smallville and most of Metropolis. Thousands died. And he did not appear to give one fuck. He goes to great lengths to save those guys on the oil rig, but does nothing to stop a building from falling on dozens of people. he also continues to fight in and through populated areas. At one point, the direct a person right into a gas station causing it to explode in a massive fireball.
The more I think about the movie, the more annoyed I am with his complete disregard for saving people while he fought. One of the coolest things about Superman (and most superheroes), was his ability to multi-task saving people AND beating the shit out of bad dudes. He spent most of his life going out of his way to save everyone he came across. It was like a compulsory disease. Rescue Tourettes. Then he puts on the suit and not one fuck was given. Get inside the buildings...so I can hurl cars into them! A building in Metropolis starts falling into a busy street full of people and he...flies off. Um. Wanna maybe catch that, bro? He jumps over a fuel tanker with a smirk and then it explodes into a massive fireball behind him, no doubt killing anyone in the building it hit.
The Avengers kicked ass cause they spent their time saving people while fighting and destroying buildings. I couldn't get the term 'disaster porn' out of my head.
- People apparently have been complaining about what he does to Zod at the end. Nevermind the fact that he did almost the exact same thing in the 80s, and it traumatized him for years.
- That TORNADO scene. Uncomfortable! How much must it have sucked for that tornado scene to be done in post-production only to have that exact thing happen in OK? Ballsy move to keep it in and not do a quick two-week reshoot. I can't imagine that movie is playing well over there right now.
(Spoilers, blahblahblah)
I think satansmonkey hit all the fun marks of the film in his 'review,' such as the hilarious space dicks that take people to the Phantom Zone. The negative reviews I have heard all seem to be based on people having their own idea of what Superman should be instead of just going in and taking it as its own thing. As for a movie about a guy from another world who has super powers, it was a fully fleshed-out modern take on the character. This ain't the 30s or the 50s anymore. Characters are more complex now.
I went in expecting a guy with superhuman powers beating the shit out of other guys with superhuman powers...something I have been waiting for since Matrix Revolutions showed that an ass-kicking Superman movie was finally possible. The scenes with Clark and his parents definitely gave the film its heart and helped make him a real person instead of a cold demigod.
But on to the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly!
The Good:
- The muthafuckin' action, yo! 40 minutes of Superman using every trick in his arsenal (except the super-breath...boo!), against other superpowered villains. With predictable results. As io9 said, Snyder clearly thought about how people with super-strength and super-speed would fight.
- Faora (the female Kryptonian), was definitely the bad ass of the film. And I loved that her adversary/nemesis was a regular human warrior. They should get a room.
- The military was actually competent, not a bunch of douchebags, and helped save the world as much as Superman did. (that being said, they really gotta stop shooting Kryptonians and not noticing it doesn't work. It was almost Davies-era Doctor Who level silliness, like everyone who ever shot a Dalek not realizing they were having zero-effect. *sigh*)
- Ma & Pa Kent. The flashbacks in general, really. They definitely added a sense of realism and normalcy to Superman, as well as being able to relate to him. Sort of an, "If I were him," feeling. He was just an average 'Joe' who also happened to be a god.
- SuperCrowe! Goddamn, Jor-El is one bad mutha...shut yo mouth! I guess they teach scientists on Krypton has to kick massive ass, cause he had an epic swim, rode a mounted fell beast, and beat the shit out of Zod.
- Little nods to Superman lore and previous films. Other than the fact that most of the film was based on the Geoff Johns/Richard Donner "Last Son" storyline in the comics, there was the baby space pod that looked like the Donner version (in the Jor-El history lesson on the ship), and...shit...other stuff, too. I'm late for work, so I can't remeber them all. Anyone?
- Superdickery!! Once he rearranged that guy's truck, I cheered. They went there. Superman is a Dick!
- A competent Lois, who actually figures out who he is all by herself. Other than being an actual journalist, it also adds a nat dynamic to their relationship going forward.
- Sneaky Zack Snyder with his flashbacks. By the time he was on the ship and ANOTHER DAMN FLASHBACK started I was about to throw up my hands. Then it turned out it wasn't a flashback at all, but Zod inside his mind. Well, played, sirs. You got me.
THE BAD:
- Michael Shannon. Once he started talking, the train fell off the tracks. Everyone had gravitas and eloquence, and this shrill-voiced American brat shows up. His dialogue sounded bad-ass, but it was delivered by the wrong dude. It was almost like Rose McGowan in Conan. Just out of place.
- They didn't just go terraform Mars because why? Was Zod just too pissed off?
THE UGLY:
- Holy god, there was a lot of death in this film. He saved one soldier from falling, but otherwise blew up half of Smallville and most of Metropolis. Thousands died. And he did not appear to give one fuck. He goes to great lengths to save those guys on the oil rig, but does nothing to stop a building from falling on dozens of people. he also continues to fight in and through populated areas. At one point, the direct a person right into a gas station causing it to explode in a massive fireball.
The more I think about the movie, the more annoyed I am with his complete disregard for saving people while he fought. One of the coolest things about Superman (and most superheroes), was his ability to multi-task saving people AND beating the shit out of bad dudes. He spent most of his life going out of his way to save everyone he came across. It was like a compulsory disease. Rescue Tourettes. Then he puts on the suit and not one fuck was given. Get inside the buildings...so I can hurl cars into them! A building in Metropolis starts falling into a busy street full of people and he...flies off. Um. Wanna maybe catch that, bro? He jumps over a fuel tanker with a smirk and then it explodes into a massive fireball behind him, no doubt killing anyone in the building it hit.
The Avengers kicked ass cause they spent their time saving people while fighting and destroying buildings. I couldn't get the term 'disaster porn' out of my head.
- People apparently have been complaining about what he does to Zod at the end. Nevermind the fact that he did almost the exact same thing in the 80s, and it traumatized him for years.
- That TORNADO scene. Uncomfortable! How much must it have sucked for that tornado scene to be done in post-production only to have that exact thing happen in OK? Ballsy move to keep it in and not do a quick two-week reshoot. I can't imagine that movie is playing well over there right now.