Completely Unasked For Review: DKR
I like the fact that Dark Knight Rises shares the same initials with Dark Knight Returns. Clever, Nolan...clever!
So, I was asked what I thought of the movie and I'm not sure, really. I think of all the reviews I read afterwards, Roger Ebert put it best (shocking, I know), when he said, "It isn't very much fun, and it doesn't have very much Batman." When we got home, Jenz said the same thing: "Avengers was more fun." We all liked it, but it was nowhere near as good as the last two films. It wasn't as focused as BB, and it wasn't as gripping as TDK. In that one, it felt like the movie was building, building, and building up with suspense and tension every scene, constantly moving. This one was just as long, but felt really slow.
Also, it produced way too many LOLs. I felt a little bad afterwards as we made fun of the many unintentionally funny parts of the film. It's like picking on a guy you like.
For example...
- Bane. Specifically his Robot Sean Connery impersonation while wearing what Kar3n best described as a Goatse mask. And in an effort to make him more intelligible, they apparently cranked up the volume on his voice track. When he first appeared, Kar3n thought he was talking through the plane PA system, not his mask. In another scene with two bad guys talking, he enters on the other side of the room from them and still sounds like he's right in front of them. We imagined he just had a mic that projected his voice...which made us laugh at his Football stadium speech, cause we were waiting for feedback loops.
- The on-the-nose dialogue. Case in point, "You should use your given name...ROBIIIN!!!" Ow! My head! Put down that hammer, Nolan! That line is now up there with Prometheus's "FATHERRR!!"
- The monologuing. Oh my god, the monologuing. First was Alfred, who went on so long that they actually showed a flashback while he talked. Then five minutes later, someone else has a go. And each time, the other people in the scene just stop what they're doing and give them the time they need to finish their uninterrupted speeches. Bane gives a long speech to a very calm crowd of football fans who normally would be fleeing for their lives and screaming because the whole stadium just exploded around them. The best was the final speech by Talia, where she goes on and on about herself while a bomb is SLOOOWWWWLYYY ticking away in the back of her truck. And when they finally turn the camera to Gordon, Catwoman, and Batman, they are staring at her, mouths comically agape, waiting for her to finish. I was hoping Batman would just turn and go, "I don't have time for this...I'll be with the bomb."
- Speaking of bombs: Other than the fact that the ending of DKR was very similar to its more fun rival, The Avengers (Must fly nuclear bomb out of range of the city in time!!!), it was also very similar to...Batman! Apparently, Nolan liked the '60s Batman more than we thought.
- We want to see it again, but for two main reasons: TO understand the other 50% of what Bane was saying...and to understand what was going on. Nolan and his brother have a habit of writing dilogue like a Hemingway novel. There are no segues or conversational fluff in their lines. Everything they say is succinct and to the point. So if you miss a line, you're screwed. The only time I can remember anyone having a normal conversation was the dance scene with Selina Kyle.
- The editing. Every shot seemed to be a snippet of something that should have been longer. It felt like he was going, "And then this happened. And then this. Oh, and there was this. But let's move on to this instead." Because there was never any real build-up, things seemed to just sort of happen. When he gets together with Miranda, I didn't see why. They'd had maybe one scene together for only a couple of lines (as if Nolan was on their asses to move on to the next shot), and it seemed they only hooked up because everyone told him he should hook up with her. Very much a "tell, don't show" situation. The worst crime was when they killed off a major character literally off-camera. He was alive one moment, they cut to Talia, and then he is seen lying dead on the ground. Guess he wasn't all that important after all.
- When they did hook up, I turned to Kar3n and said, "That's Talia, Ra's al Ghul's daughter." Even so, the movie waited another hour and a half to reveal her. And when she did reveal, it just left me going, "Then, what was your plan?" To destroy Gotham because Batman killed the father she didn't even like...until he'd killed him? Never mind the fact that he didn't kill him to begin with. Bane said he wanted Wayne to watch Gotham destroy itself and then he would come and kill him...except that there was no way Bane was leaving before that bomb went off. Or Talia. So, no one would ever know the reason behind the plan. Which she gave in yet another uninterrupted monologue...while Batman sat there patiently (she apparently stabbed him with a small knife of attentive listening).
- Batman not being very Batman-y. He fights Bane and just goes at him with the fisticuffs. He has a utility belt of awesome sauce and only uses it to throw party poppers at Bane in one of the funniest bits of the film. Did he pull from the wrong pouch? Did he mean the use the poison-tipped batarangs? You know, the ones he threw to take out five guys later in the film, but seemed to conveniently forget about every time he saw Bane? And when he meets up with Bane later in the film, you expect him to use something new that gives him the advantage over...oh, no, he's just going to punch him some more. The only reason he wins? He luckily hits Bane's front grill and breaks it. Almost accidentally. Did he have a Bat-plan when he confronted him? No. Apparently not. Use the fucking batarangs!!
- Batman may be in a rush to stop a bomb from going off in 12 hours, but that doesn't mean he can't waste a few hours on some theatrics. As Gordon and his men walk out onto thin ice that could give way any second, out of the smoke walks...Batman? From the even thinner part of the ice? How did you do that? And he's left a flare on the ice for Gordon to hopefully find. What, were you bored? Must have been, because he makes Gordon pop the flare and light a line of gasoline that goes over the ice, up the entire length of a bridge tower, and then ignites a big fiery bat symbol at the top. "I spent the last two hours making that...you like it?" What if he'd died before he got to your flare, pal? You would have had to light it yourself. Oh no!
- Then there was the Bat-voice. Thankfully, they didn't enhance it in post like they did with the second film, which made him so unintelligible. (Seriously, watch a trailer for TDK and then the film...you can hear the added effect in the film) But he still had that whisper-talk, which made the scenes where he was loud sound awkward. And when he was alone and talking to just himself, he still used the bat voice. But worst of all was Bale's open mouth policy for Batman. Maybe he just can't breath out of his nose, I dunno. But it seemed like Batman had a cold and was jacked up on Antihistamines. His Batman face consisted of him staring sleepily into the distance with a slack-jawed mouth-breathing. What happened to Batman being tough and scary. Would he die if he closed his mouth? Were they purposely trying to imitate every internet parody made since the last movie? Cause they did a great job then.
- Talking about it more, we were all like, "How the hell did a penniless Bruce Wayne fly over from the Middle East and then sneak back into a locked-down Gotham?" The best answer we could come up with was, "He's Batman!"
Again, I enjoyed it well enough. It wasn't a bad movie, despite the silliness and the unnatural dialogue. There was much good, too:
- Catwoman was actually great. I was shocked, as I thought Anne Hathoway was a terrible choice. Nope. She gave the closest to the comics (well, the comics over the past 15 years) performance of her I've seen yet. All she needed was a whip.
- Littlefinger makes an appearance in the beginning. Whoo-hoo!! Sure, his character is frighteningly one dimensional and only speaks in exposition-enhancing questions, as if he's a member of the audience. But it's nice to see him.
- The fight scene were fluid, even though it was awfully nice of the guys with guns to not fire them, but instead stand within punching distance. Catwoman's fight scenes were the best choregraphed, I though, using her heels as weapons and all.
- Joe Gordon-Levitt's chracter was cool as the most competent member of the GCPD. Wait, I take that back. He was competent to a point. That point being when he was told not approach a barricade or else they would blow the bridge. Instead of talking to the officers, he chose to...approach the barricade. And they...blew the bridge. When it was revealed he was supposed to be Robin ("ROBIIN!!"), it made more sense. Only Robin would be such an idiot.
- The Scarecrow cameo, even though it seemed inevitable, was great. He was having more fun than anyone else in the film.
- Bane picks up Bats and breaks his back on his knee, just like the infamous comic panel. The audience clapped. Unfortunately, it turns out he merely popped out a vertebrae. All Bruce had to do was hang from a rope and have an old man he'd just met pop it back in for him. All better!
- Gordon was finally bad ass. Sure, he shouldn't have jumped into a dark sewer chasing guman, and then he did spend most of the film in bed. But once he got of that bed, he was poppin' thugs left and right and jumping onto moving vehicles like the man.
- Ra's showing up again and talking about immortality was another awesome nod to the comic character. Nice.
Though I am going to see it again, I am not exactly excited to do so. Mainly cause it was so long and plodding. But I'm going to see it IMAX, so the scenes shot for IMAX will no doubt blow my mind enough to make up for that. And I'll hopefully catch a lot of stuff I didn't quite get the first time cause he was rushing through scenes so fast.
What did y'all think?
So, I was asked what I thought of the movie and I'm not sure, really. I think of all the reviews I read afterwards, Roger Ebert put it best (shocking, I know), when he said, "It isn't very much fun, and it doesn't have very much Batman." When we got home, Jenz said the same thing: "Avengers was more fun." We all liked it, but it was nowhere near as good as the last two films. It wasn't as focused as BB, and it wasn't as gripping as TDK. In that one, it felt like the movie was building, building, and building up with suspense and tension every scene, constantly moving. This one was just as long, but felt really slow.
Also, it produced way too many LOLs. I felt a little bad afterwards as we made fun of the many unintentionally funny parts of the film. It's like picking on a guy you like.
For example...
- Bane. Specifically his Robot Sean Connery impersonation while wearing what Kar3n best described as a Goatse mask. And in an effort to make him more intelligible, they apparently cranked up the volume on his voice track. When he first appeared, Kar3n thought he was talking through the plane PA system, not his mask. In another scene with two bad guys talking, he enters on the other side of the room from them and still sounds like he's right in front of them. We imagined he just had a mic that projected his voice...which made us laugh at his Football stadium speech, cause we were waiting for feedback loops.
- The on-the-nose dialogue. Case in point, "You should use your given name...ROBIIIN!!!" Ow! My head! Put down that hammer, Nolan! That line is now up there with Prometheus's "FATHERRR!!"
- The monologuing. Oh my god, the monologuing. First was Alfred, who went on so long that they actually showed a flashback while he talked. Then five minutes later, someone else has a go. And each time, the other people in the scene just stop what they're doing and give them the time they need to finish their uninterrupted speeches. Bane gives a long speech to a very calm crowd of football fans who normally would be fleeing for their lives and screaming because the whole stadium just exploded around them. The best was the final speech by Talia, where she goes on and on about herself while a bomb is SLOOOWWWWLYYY ticking away in the back of her truck. And when they finally turn the camera to Gordon, Catwoman, and Batman, they are staring at her, mouths comically agape, waiting for her to finish. I was hoping Batman would just turn and go, "I don't have time for this...I'll be with the bomb."
- Speaking of bombs: Other than the fact that the ending of DKR was very similar to its more fun rival, The Avengers (Must fly nuclear bomb out of range of the city in time!!!), it was also very similar to...Batman! Apparently, Nolan liked the '60s Batman more than we thought.
Click to view- We want to see it again, but for two main reasons: TO understand the other 50% of what Bane was saying...and to understand what was going on. Nolan and his brother have a habit of writing dilogue like a Hemingway novel. There are no segues or conversational fluff in their lines. Everything they say is succinct and to the point. So if you miss a line, you're screwed. The only time I can remember anyone having a normal conversation was the dance scene with Selina Kyle.
- The editing. Every shot seemed to be a snippet of something that should have been longer. It felt like he was going, "And then this happened. And then this. Oh, and there was this. But let's move on to this instead." Because there was never any real build-up, things seemed to just sort of happen. When he gets together with Miranda, I didn't see why. They'd had maybe one scene together for only a couple of lines (as if Nolan was on their asses to move on to the next shot), and it seemed they only hooked up because everyone told him he should hook up with her. Very much a "tell, don't show" situation. The worst crime was when they killed off a major character literally off-camera. He was alive one moment, they cut to Talia, and then he is seen lying dead on the ground. Guess he wasn't all that important after all.
- When they did hook up, I turned to Kar3n and said, "That's Talia, Ra's al Ghul's daughter." Even so, the movie waited another hour and a half to reveal her. And when she did reveal, it just left me going, "Then, what was your plan?" To destroy Gotham because Batman killed the father she didn't even like...until he'd killed him? Never mind the fact that he didn't kill him to begin with. Bane said he wanted Wayne to watch Gotham destroy itself and then he would come and kill him...except that there was no way Bane was leaving before that bomb went off. Or Talia. So, no one would ever know the reason behind the plan. Which she gave in yet another uninterrupted monologue...while Batman sat there patiently (she apparently stabbed him with a small knife of attentive listening).
- Batman not being very Batman-y. He fights Bane and just goes at him with the fisticuffs. He has a utility belt of awesome sauce and only uses it to throw party poppers at Bane in one of the funniest bits of the film. Did he pull from the wrong pouch? Did he mean the use the poison-tipped batarangs? You know, the ones he threw to take out five guys later in the film, but seemed to conveniently forget about every time he saw Bane? And when he meets up with Bane later in the film, you expect him to use something new that gives him the advantage over...oh, no, he's just going to punch him some more. The only reason he wins? He luckily hits Bane's front grill and breaks it. Almost accidentally. Did he have a Bat-plan when he confronted him? No. Apparently not. Use the fucking batarangs!!
- Batman may be in a rush to stop a bomb from going off in 12 hours, but that doesn't mean he can't waste a few hours on some theatrics. As Gordon and his men walk out onto thin ice that could give way any second, out of the smoke walks...Batman? From the even thinner part of the ice? How did you do that? And he's left a flare on the ice for Gordon to hopefully find. What, were you bored? Must have been, because he makes Gordon pop the flare and light a line of gasoline that goes over the ice, up the entire length of a bridge tower, and then ignites a big fiery bat symbol at the top. "I spent the last two hours making that...you like it?" What if he'd died before he got to your flare, pal? You would have had to light it yourself. Oh no!
- Then there was the Bat-voice. Thankfully, they didn't enhance it in post like they did with the second film, which made him so unintelligible. (Seriously, watch a trailer for TDK and then the film...you can hear the added effect in the film) But he still had that whisper-talk, which made the scenes where he was loud sound awkward. And when he was alone and talking to just himself, he still used the bat voice. But worst of all was Bale's open mouth policy for Batman. Maybe he just can't breath out of his nose, I dunno. But it seemed like Batman had a cold and was jacked up on Antihistamines. His Batman face consisted of him staring sleepily into the distance with a slack-jawed mouth-breathing. What happened to Batman being tough and scary. Would he die if he closed his mouth? Were they purposely trying to imitate every internet parody made since the last movie? Cause they did a great job then.
- Talking about it more, we were all like, "How the hell did a penniless Bruce Wayne fly over from the Middle East and then sneak back into a locked-down Gotham?" The best answer we could come up with was, "He's Batman!"
Again, I enjoyed it well enough. It wasn't a bad movie, despite the silliness and the unnatural dialogue. There was much good, too:
- Catwoman was actually great. I was shocked, as I thought Anne Hathoway was a terrible choice. Nope. She gave the closest to the comics (well, the comics over the past 15 years) performance of her I've seen yet. All she needed was a whip.
- Littlefinger makes an appearance in the beginning. Whoo-hoo!! Sure, his character is frighteningly one dimensional and only speaks in exposition-enhancing questions, as if he's a member of the audience. But it's nice to see him.
- The fight scene were fluid, even though it was awfully nice of the guys with guns to not fire them, but instead stand within punching distance. Catwoman's fight scenes were the best choregraphed, I though, using her heels as weapons and all.
- Joe Gordon-Levitt's chracter was cool as the most competent member of the GCPD. Wait, I take that back. He was competent to a point. That point being when he was told not approach a barricade or else they would blow the bridge. Instead of talking to the officers, he chose to...approach the barricade. And they...blew the bridge. When it was revealed he was supposed to be Robin ("ROBIIN!!"), it made more sense. Only Robin would be such an idiot.
- The Scarecrow cameo, even though it seemed inevitable, was great. He was having more fun than anyone else in the film.
- Bane picks up Bats and breaks his back on his knee, just like the infamous comic panel. The audience clapped. Unfortunately, it turns out he merely popped out a vertebrae. All Bruce had to do was hang from a rope and have an old man he'd just met pop it back in for him. All better!
- Gordon was finally bad ass. Sure, he shouldn't have jumped into a dark sewer chasing guman, and then he did spend most of the film in bed. But once he got of that bed, he was poppin' thugs left and right and jumping onto moving vehicles like the man.
- Ra's showing up again and talking about immortality was another awesome nod to the comic character. Nice.
Though I am going to see it again, I am not exactly excited to do so. Mainly cause it was so long and plodding. But I'm going to see it IMAX, so the scenes shot for IMAX will no doubt blow my mind enough to make up for that. And I'll hopefully catch a lot of stuff I didn't quite get the first time cause he was rushing through scenes so fast.
What did y'all think?