The Letter From Ollie
So wanna talk about OLD letters? I finished this statement to you in August and am JUST NOW posting it here, mostly because the picture of Jack is on my desktop and that reminded me to post this. Here it is:
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8-18-18
So we got a letter from Ollie too. And by ‘we’ I mean ‘Matt.’
It was addressed to him but he waited till I got home before he opened it - this was a week I think before your mom sent him a check. I said “Yes, my family is odd, but there are worse things family members can do than worry about your soul and send you $500.”
The letter included that line about “You may hold me in contempt for saying this, but my faith gives me the strength to say it.” So not being raised in an evangelical religion he wasn’t sure what to make of it all, except wow….. super uncomfortable.
I, being raised in such a religion, tried to explain. Now it DID occur to me that my grandmother was coming to the end of her life, and she knew it, in that way that sometimes old people do, and she set about to do the last-minute-stuff she HAD to do before she died, but that line of thinking made me uncomfortable and I put it out of my mind and said “Probably it was a Sunday School project ** where everybody sits down and writes a letter to someone who isn’t saved - that’s a thing Baptists do. Because I remember you once wrote a letter to Kathy to that effect and for that purpose. Do you remember?
I said “I speak Baptist - it’s all good, I know what to say - you can write her a letter back and we’ll include pics of the kids.” I emailed him the proper response, which he handwrote in a letter to her and chose pics of the boys - pictures of them together and then two recent pictures.
But the LAST picture of Jack - the one of him in his black concert shirt right before we went to his 5th Grade Choir concert - I did not send. The problem was, I took the picture in front of my altar, which is in front of that big green Greenman tapestry, which has two eyes looking out at you, which looks really creepy in pictures, and also there was the matter of my altar pieces which were also visible, so I cropped the picture VERY CLOSELY and then didn’t like it.
(So I’m sending it to you.)
So I can tell you exactly what I told Matt in the letter because I started this letter on the 8-18th, the night we sat down to watch Isle of Dogs, and that movie was too involving to think about writing this letter so I didn’t finish it, and just now when I searched for it I found the original thing I sent Matt to copy in his own words in the letter.
Letter to Ollie
Thank you for your kind words. I don’t know if I am doing a good job keeping up with your granddaughter but I’m doing my best.
Thank you for your concern about my health. My bloodsugar numbers are very good and my xyz score is excellent. I also impressed my doctor by losing 30 pounds. And when I have a spiritual need I am very satisfied with my church.
Thanks again for your letter. I’m including some pictures I thought you might enjoy. Of course I don’t hold you in contempt, I understand that this practice is part of your religion.
So Matt wrote that in his own words. He did NOT say the “of course I do not hold you in contempt” he just skipped that part.
So now we had the letter, but I was waiting until I could go pick up the printed pictures at Walgreens. Then one day I thought “I REALLY need to get on that - she’s WAITING for an answer and she might be stressed out about it, and also it would suck if she up and died on me before she got to see them” and sure enough by the time she got them she was not at the responsive stage. Ramona told me they showed her the pictures, but when I asked “Did she SEE them?” I never got an answer so I would like to assume I wasn’t a day late, as always.
But I was probably a day late.
WHY did I insist that there must be pictures of the children with the letter? Thinking about it now I can’t even tell you what my logic was - except I guess it was a classic case of “I can’t write her a letter saying anything that will make her happy, but pictures will make her happy.”
Anyway I was not surprised that I did NOT get a letter - when I talked to her I would mention “church” and let her go on thinking the church that I was heavily involved in was Christian. Like everyone does.
You should probably assume Tara got a letter too. I’d say “you should probably ask if she did” but she probably prefers not talking about it.
Anyway right now [back in August] I am typing this in our BRAND NEW East Branch Library which I will mention on a tape you will get some time in the future - I CAME here to have some me-time and take notes on a lecture I am listening to in the car but wanted to take some notes on to add to my notes about the Gnostic Gospels - esp. the Acts of Thomas (that’s where the Hymn of the Pearl is found, I told you about that sermon) because it’s all about Coptic and Syriac and why it is important in the story of Bible Translations - so I decided to come to the library and enjoy this beautiful view only to settle down and remember I don’t have a DVD player in this computer - and the portable one is back at school. But that is ok because I forgot the headphones anyway. So I decided to finish this letter to you. The library walls involve a LOT of glass, which bugs cannot see, which results in some lovely butterfly sightings, but MOSTLY results in the constant thump thump thump of the grasshoppers hitting the walls.
So - didn’t tell me if you read “It Devours?” or not.
** That “you may hold me in contempt but my faith gives me the strength to not worry about your contemptedness” sounded pretty Sunday-School Formula, and not organic. I was going to say “not like her at all” but I felt like it wasn’t like anybody. The whole thing felt VERY “You will write a letter to an unsaved person now - here is the formula for that letter.” It occurs to me now as sad that it NEVER ONCE OCCURRED TO ME to talk to her plainly, to say “WHY would you write about “contempt?” I wasn’t raised to hold people in contempt. I can count on one hand all the people in our country I hold in contempt and they are all career criminals.” But the letter wasn’t to me anyway, and there’s no polite way to say “Matt gave me the letter to translate and what Sunday School curriculum did you find that in? “Think less of me” sounds a lot better than “hold me in contempt.” But then again, it never occurred to me to speak to her plainly about it at all. I just wanted her to be happy.
--- --- --- --- ---
8-18-18
So we got a letter from Ollie too. And by ‘we’ I mean ‘Matt.’
It was addressed to him but he waited till I got home before he opened it - this was a week I think before your mom sent him a check. I said “Yes, my family is odd, but there are worse things family members can do than worry about your soul and send you $500.”
The letter included that line about “You may hold me in contempt for saying this, but my faith gives me the strength to say it.” So not being raised in an evangelical religion he wasn’t sure what to make of it all, except wow….. super uncomfortable.
I, being raised in such a religion, tried to explain. Now it DID occur to me that my grandmother was coming to the end of her life, and she knew it, in that way that sometimes old people do, and she set about to do the last-minute-stuff she HAD to do before she died, but that line of thinking made me uncomfortable and I put it out of my mind and said “Probably it was a Sunday School project ** where everybody sits down and writes a letter to someone who isn’t saved - that’s a thing Baptists do. Because I remember you once wrote a letter to Kathy to that effect and for that purpose. Do you remember?
I said “I speak Baptist - it’s all good, I know what to say - you can write her a letter back and we’ll include pics of the kids.” I emailed him the proper response, which he handwrote in a letter to her and chose pics of the boys - pictures of them together and then two recent pictures.
But the LAST picture of Jack - the one of him in his black concert shirt right before we went to his 5th Grade Choir concert - I did not send. The problem was, I took the picture in front of my altar, which is in front of that big green Greenman tapestry, which has two eyes looking out at you, which looks really creepy in pictures, and also there was the matter of my altar pieces which were also visible, so I cropped the picture VERY CLOSELY and then didn’t like it.
(So I’m sending it to you.)
So I can tell you exactly what I told Matt in the letter because I started this letter on the 8-18th, the night we sat down to watch Isle of Dogs, and that movie was too involving to think about writing this letter so I didn’t finish it, and just now when I searched for it I found the original thing I sent Matt to copy in his own words in the letter.
Letter to Ollie
Thank you for your kind words. I don’t know if I am doing a good job keeping up with your granddaughter but I’m doing my best.
Thank you for your concern about my health. My bloodsugar numbers are very good and my xyz score is excellent. I also impressed my doctor by losing 30 pounds. And when I have a spiritual need I am very satisfied with my church.
Thanks again for your letter. I’m including some pictures I thought you might enjoy. Of course I don’t hold you in contempt, I understand that this practice is part of your religion.
So Matt wrote that in his own words. He did NOT say the “of course I do not hold you in contempt” he just skipped that part.
So now we had the letter, but I was waiting until I could go pick up the printed pictures at Walgreens. Then one day I thought “I REALLY need to get on that - she’s WAITING for an answer and she might be stressed out about it, and also it would suck if she up and died on me before she got to see them” and sure enough by the time she got them she was not at the responsive stage. Ramona told me they showed her the pictures, but when I asked “Did she SEE them?” I never got an answer so I would like to assume I wasn’t a day late, as always.
But I was probably a day late.
WHY did I insist that there must be pictures of the children with the letter? Thinking about it now I can’t even tell you what my logic was - except I guess it was a classic case of “I can’t write her a letter saying anything that will make her happy, but pictures will make her happy.”
Anyway I was not surprised that I did NOT get a letter - when I talked to her I would mention “church” and let her go on thinking the church that I was heavily involved in was Christian. Like everyone does.
You should probably assume Tara got a letter too. I’d say “you should probably ask if she did” but she probably prefers not talking about it.
Anyway right now [back in August] I am typing this in our BRAND NEW East Branch Library which I will mention on a tape you will get some time in the future - I CAME here to have some me-time and take notes on a lecture I am listening to in the car but wanted to take some notes on to add to my notes about the Gnostic Gospels - esp. the Acts of Thomas (that’s where the Hymn of the Pearl is found, I told you about that sermon) because it’s all about Coptic and Syriac and why it is important in the story of Bible Translations - so I decided to come to the library and enjoy this beautiful view only to settle down and remember I don’t have a DVD player in this computer - and the portable one is back at school. But that is ok because I forgot the headphones anyway. So I decided to finish this letter to you. The library walls involve a LOT of glass, which bugs cannot see, which results in some lovely butterfly sightings, but MOSTLY results in the constant thump thump thump of the grasshoppers hitting the walls.
So - didn’t tell me if you read “It Devours?” or not.
** That “you may hold me in contempt but my faith gives me the strength to not worry about your contemptedness” sounded pretty Sunday-School Formula, and not organic. I was going to say “not like her at all” but I felt like it wasn’t like anybody. The whole thing felt VERY “You will write a letter to an unsaved person now - here is the formula for that letter.” It occurs to me now as sad that it NEVER ONCE OCCURRED TO ME to talk to her plainly, to say “WHY would you write about “contempt?” I wasn’t raised to hold people in contempt. I can count on one hand all the people in our country I hold in contempt and they are all career criminals.” But the letter wasn’t to me anyway, and there’s no polite way to say “Matt gave me the letter to translate and what Sunday School curriculum did you find that in? “Think less of me” sounds a lot better than “hold me in contempt.” But then again, it never occurred to me to speak to her plainly about it at all. I just wanted her to be happy.