He's not yet, but he should be!mr_jaegerApril 11 2005, 14:30:07 UTC
HERE! I've got an idea, and not only will it teach a whole pile of cool shit to kids, it will revive a tradition on sesame street that hasn't reared its ugly head for kind of a while...KILL THE FUCKER!
Don't get me wrong...i grew up on sesame street, and i love Cookie Monster as much as all of the rest of my generation...but does my generation remember when that one character died on Sesame Street? The old guy that ran the newsstand just kinda died one day and the Sesame Street execs said, "Oh shit. How do we explain that one away?" Well, for the first time in the HISTORY of fucking broadcasting, the creators of a show gave a little credit to the maturity and intelligence of the viewers, and much to everyone's surprise, the viewers lived up to their expectations. They taught the kids a valuable lesson about death, we ALL got traumatized, album sales for the Cure shot through the roof and we grew up right, god dammit. We grew up fearing the impending coming of the reaper and fully aware that it could arrive at any moment, and that fact taught us some fucking RESPECT! The kids who grew up after that don't have it, and you can see it in their rhetoric...these little upcoming Generation Y assholes. They don't respect anything at all, and Generation X is just starting to get old enough to get really pissed off about that. I've got a great illustrative story for this, but i'm not going to litter paul's journal with it.
Going back to the original point: kill the fucking cookie monster! Give that blue bastard some diabetes that lead to a heart condition. He can have a heart attack, quietly pass away, we can have a funeral for the Cookie Monster, and at least as many people will show up for that shit as did for Jim Henson's funeral...just think of how long you can set up the viewing of the body?! It's not as though he's going to decay, is he. Shit, give him a completely glass coffin and stick his blue ass in the Smithsonian!
At the same time as teaching a completely new generation to respect death and live their lives in perpetual mortal terror, this will traumatize the ever-loving fuck out of everything under the age of 5. There will be an entire generation of kids who are SHIT SCARED of eating cookies, and this can only be a good thing.
Don't get me wrong...i grew up on sesame street, and i love Cookie Monster as much as all of the rest of my generation...but does my generation remember when that one character died on Sesame Street? The old guy that ran the newsstand just kinda died one day and the Sesame Street execs said, "Oh shit. How do we explain that one away?" Well, for the first time in the HISTORY of fucking broadcasting, the creators of a show gave a little credit to the maturity and intelligence of the viewers, and much to everyone's surprise, the viewers lived up to their expectations. They taught the kids a valuable lesson about death, we ALL got traumatized, album sales for the Cure shot through the roof and we grew up right, god dammit. We grew up fearing the impending coming of the reaper and fully aware that it could arrive at any moment, and that fact taught us some fucking RESPECT! The kids who grew up after that don't have it, and you can see it in their rhetoric...these little upcoming Generation Y assholes. They don't respect anything at all, and Generation X is just starting to get old enough to get really pissed off about that. I've got a great illustrative story for this, but i'm not going to litter paul's journal with it.
Going back to the original point: kill the fucking cookie monster! Give that blue bastard some diabetes that lead to a heart condition. He can have a heart attack, quietly pass away, we can have a funeral for the Cookie Monster, and at least as many people will show up for that shit as did for Jim Henson's funeral...just think of how long you can set up the viewing of the body?! It's not as though he's going to decay, is he. Shit, give him a completely glass coffin and stick his blue ass in the Smithsonian!
At the same time as teaching a completely new generation to respect death and live their lives in perpetual mortal terror, this will traumatize the ever-loving fuck out of everything under the age of 5. There will be an entire generation of kids who are SHIT SCARED of eating cookies, and this can only be a good thing.
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