It's days like these that I just cant take...
I dont know what it is but I have really not been getting along with my family lately.
I never can really do anything right.
Today I came downstairs and Mom amediatly launches into some story about how somethings missing from me, I've lost my compassion and my lovable side, I'm different, I've grown hard.
So I congratulated her on making me feel like shit for the rest of the day and walked out of my house to go to school.
Then today after school I was trying to be nice and not go off on her but she starts it back up again about how I never just go talk to her in her studio anymore, or hold her hand and snuggle with her when I watch a movie. I told her that it was because I had grown up and that things change and even if I still wanted to do that she always seems to make me mad at her so I just end up not wanting to be nice.
So she told me that I was growing up to be a bitter person and she didnt like it.
And that just pissed me off.
She said that Saturday when I came back from my swim meet she saw the old me because I was all exciting and happy.
I told her that yes I had been happy and loving and that yesterday I was too if she hadnt noticed, what had put me in a bad mood is the fact that EVERY FUCKING TIME I'M THE LEAST BIT HAPPY SHE HAS TO GO RUIN IT BY TELLING ME SOMETHING THAT'S WRONG WITH ME I KNOW I'M FLAWED THANK YOU VERY MUCH BUT I DONT NEED YOU REMINDING ME ALL THE TIME.
And then I just left....
But before her and Kenzie lft to go to Flat Rock(for kenzies voice thing) she hugged me and told me she loved me and that if she crashed on her way up to Flat Rock she wanted me to know that, which is nice and all but I still feel like that was her way of making me feel worse for everything I do.
She also told me that it hurt that I didnt make her a b-day card for her birthday which was like 3 weeks ago.
I got her something but it hasnt gotten here yet.....
Can she try to make me feel worse? I really would love it. (sarcasm)
Plus my parents are never proud of anything I do, they just notice my flaws. Like a bad grade I make, or the fact that I need to loose weight, or that I'm not as happy as I used to me (uh shouldnt that hint at something for them?).
They can never be proud when I swim well (well if they even go to the swim meet), or if I learn something new on guitar, or if I make a good grade, or if I just HOLD THE DOOR FOR SOMEONE!!!!
Why cant anyone ever appriciate anything I do? Dont they know I do it all for them?
Right, now that I've written this long rant that no one will really read I"m going to go.
I never can really do anything right.
Today I came downstairs and Mom amediatly launches into some story about how somethings missing from me, I've lost my compassion and my lovable side, I'm different, I've grown hard.
So I congratulated her on making me feel like shit for the rest of the day and walked out of my house to go to school.
Then today after school I was trying to be nice and not go off on her but she starts it back up again about how I never just go talk to her in her studio anymore, or hold her hand and snuggle with her when I watch a movie. I told her that it was because I had grown up and that things change and even if I still wanted to do that she always seems to make me mad at her so I just end up not wanting to be nice.
So she told me that I was growing up to be a bitter person and she didnt like it.
And that just pissed me off.
She said that Saturday when I came back from my swim meet she saw the old me because I was all exciting and happy.
I told her that yes I had been happy and loving and that yesterday I was too if she hadnt noticed, what had put me in a bad mood is the fact that EVERY FUCKING TIME I'M THE LEAST BIT HAPPY SHE HAS TO GO RUIN IT BY TELLING ME SOMETHING THAT'S WRONG WITH ME I KNOW I'M FLAWED THANK YOU VERY MUCH BUT I DONT NEED YOU REMINDING ME ALL THE TIME.
And then I just left....
But before her and Kenzie lft to go to Flat Rock(for kenzies voice thing) she hugged me and told me she loved me and that if she crashed on her way up to Flat Rock she wanted me to know that, which is nice and all but I still feel like that was her way of making me feel worse for everything I do.
She also told me that it hurt that I didnt make her a b-day card for her birthday which was like 3 weeks ago.
I got her something but it hasnt gotten here yet.....
Can she try to make me feel worse? I really would love it. (sarcasm)
Plus my parents are never proud of anything I do, they just notice my flaws. Like a bad grade I make, or the fact that I need to loose weight, or that I'm not as happy as I used to me (uh shouldnt that hint at something for them?).
They can never be proud when I swim well (well if they even go to the swim meet), or if I learn something new on guitar, or if I make a good grade, or if I just HOLD THE DOOR FOR SOMEONE!!!!
Why cant anyone ever appriciate anything I do? Dont they know I do it all for them?
Right, now that I've written this long rant that no one will really read I"m going to go.