End of 2006.
Well, this started out as yet another promo blog for the show I put together for New Year's Eve at Chaser's Nightclub in Scottsdale, but then turned into a rant basically telling everyone who I used to consider great friends of mine who I feel have decided to ignore my existence to fuck off, but I didn't think that was really appropriate and I might end up regretting it later. Especially if there is still someone out there who cares.
I could go into a recap of this year, but that always seems so cheesy. Who wants to hear about how I've gotten my schooling straightened out and how I am really enjoying workin on getting my associates in Audio Production Technology and Music Business. And the fact that I manage a band and am workin on getting into the concert production business is just lame. Fuck, I should have decided to go into accounting or be a highschool teacher or something awesome like that. Creating music and working in one of the biggest and exciting industries in the world is just boring.
There was this little trip to Germany, where I was in Berlin during the finals of one of the biggest sporting events in the world... the World Cup, yeah I think that was it.
Should I say all I'm thankful for? Should I write about my grand plans for the future... no, I change my mind too often anyway.
You know what, I'm really lonely. I seriously don't feel like I have anyone that I'm very close to. I just have a bunch of pals I hang with at school occasionally, or after a concert. And that's cool, but I don't have a best friend. I hang out with my youngest brother Kevin most of the time now. He's cool, and we get along, but he's still 4 years younger than me, and I need someone my own age to talk to. I've got some great friends in Germany, but they live a world away... kinda ironic though that I do still actually have better contact with some of them than the ones living just a few miles away. I haven't had a serious romantic relationship in... a very long time. over a year? yeah, it's been over a year.
What the fuck is it? Why the hell does it seem like I'm the guy stuck in the door way. I'm cool enough to not be outside, but not enough to be let totally in. Why do the few people I considered my best friends still all hang out with one another, but don't ever talk to me anymore?
Is it because I came back from Germany ranting on all the shit wrong with America? Is it because I developed a borderline obsessed vendetta against the LDS religion? Do people think I'm too busy to talk to? Do some think I STILL am in Germany?
Why? Why don't I have any real friends left? Why does no one seem to share the excitment about things that I do? Why do I feel like if I were to take my car speeding into a wall and die that the worst thought across someones mind would be "gee, that's too bad" before they go back to America's Next Top Model on TV?
Do people avoid me because they think I'm too depressed, or too bitter? News flash, if that's it, cutting me off doesn't make that situation any better.
I just want someone to talk to. Someone to hang out with. Someone who understands, or at least listens to me talk about the things in life that interest me without judgement. I'm just really fucking lonely anymore....
I could go into a recap of this year, but that always seems so cheesy. Who wants to hear about how I've gotten my schooling straightened out and how I am really enjoying workin on getting my associates in Audio Production Technology and Music Business. And the fact that I manage a band and am workin on getting into the concert production business is just lame. Fuck, I should have decided to go into accounting or be a highschool teacher or something awesome like that. Creating music and working in one of the biggest and exciting industries in the world is just boring.
There was this little trip to Germany, where I was in Berlin during the finals of one of the biggest sporting events in the world... the World Cup, yeah I think that was it.
Should I say all I'm thankful for? Should I write about my grand plans for the future... no, I change my mind too often anyway.
You know what, I'm really lonely. I seriously don't feel like I have anyone that I'm very close to. I just have a bunch of pals I hang with at school occasionally, or after a concert. And that's cool, but I don't have a best friend. I hang out with my youngest brother Kevin most of the time now. He's cool, and we get along, but he's still 4 years younger than me, and I need someone my own age to talk to. I've got some great friends in Germany, but they live a world away... kinda ironic though that I do still actually have better contact with some of them than the ones living just a few miles away. I haven't had a serious romantic relationship in... a very long time. over a year? yeah, it's been over a year.
What the fuck is it? Why the hell does it seem like I'm the guy stuck in the door way. I'm cool enough to not be outside, but not enough to be let totally in. Why do the few people I considered my best friends still all hang out with one another, but don't ever talk to me anymore?
Is it because I came back from Germany ranting on all the shit wrong with America? Is it because I developed a borderline obsessed vendetta against the LDS religion? Do people think I'm too busy to talk to? Do some think I STILL am in Germany?
Why? Why don't I have any real friends left? Why does no one seem to share the excitment about things that I do? Why do I feel like if I were to take my car speeding into a wall and die that the worst thought across someones mind would be "gee, that's too bad" before they go back to America's Next Top Model on TV?
Do people avoid me because they think I'm too depressed, or too bitter? News flash, if that's it, cutting me off doesn't make that situation any better.
I just want someone to talk to. Someone to hang out with. Someone who understands, or at least listens to me talk about the things in life that interest me without judgement. I'm just really fucking lonely anymore....