don't read this
i feel really fucking lost without you around. i'm scared i won't see or hear from you in a year, what if our last fucking conversation as living human beings is online. what if we both die within the year? i fucking care about you more than anyone on this planet. the honesty and understanding i have with you cannot be recreated with replacements i've attempted at creating. i guess im easier to replace than you are. i guess i'm not the same person. i guess you're not the same person. i guess you've already been gone for a year. i guess you've been dead. im fucking failing at this surviving thing without you around. no one can look at me with understanding. i'm alone. i'm alone. i'm alone. DID YOU HEAR ME I AM FUCKING ALONE. my problems are consuming me. life is one big problem to be fixed. i hate it. to feel content and not worry about something would be against my nature. why does life need to be simple when theres destruction? i need to say fuck it. im pretty much helpless due to the fact that it's probably against the rules to call me. i'm fucking sad about that. i guess if i was being a dumb bitch and i was whipped by my dumb bitch i'd be in the same situation. i want to think you really just don't want to talk to me. i want to think you really don't find any importance in my existance anymore. i want to think you really want to call me. i know i lost my best friend a long fucking time ago. i know i need to stop dragging it out and realize it's doomed. i know no one is permanent. i know you need someone right now and i hope shes enough for you. honestly i do, no sarcasim. i know how it feels to be fucking alone.