fanfic: Heartbreak
Title: Heartbreak
Pairing: YamaChine
Genre: Angst, Romance
Summary: Heartbreaks aren’t all bad.
AN: songfic of Hate to see your heart break from Paramore.
There is not a single word in the whole world
“I’m sorry.”
He listened to that deep, calming voice at the end of the line, a deep sigh escaping his lips. It was probably the deepest one he made in his entire life.
“The guys wanted to grab a few shots and-“
That could describe the hurt
He cut him before he can even sugarcoat the truth, “It’s okay, Ryosuke,” like the thousands of times he did.
The dullest knife just sawing back and forth
“I swear I won’t forget ever again.”
“Really?”
And ripping through the softest skin there ever was
Silence.
He eyed the cake he baked in his hands before throwing it down the dustbin, his appetite gone along with it.
“I’ll make it up to you.”
How were you to know?
Chinen figured it was no use hearing his reply, “You don’t need to.”
“I love you, Yuri.”
Oh, how were you to know?
He ended the call having no strength to reply. Taking his bruised fingers to his chest, he lied down his soft mattress, crying himself to sleep.
One day.
He asked for one day of his 365.
But then again, he was left comforting himself that he was with the Yamada Ryosuke. He’s probably piled up with more work compared to him.
That’s right, that’s just how it is.
It’s not like it’s their 8th anniversary or anything, right?
----
And I, I hate to see your heart break
It all started that day.
Yamada called him up all of a sudden. It was a bad day for him, and he lacked a shower, but he paid no mind as he welcomed his lover in.
They started with small talks. And it was going well.
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close
Until Yamada began crying.
With his small, shaky arms he enveloped him in a tight hug; a hand making comforting patterns at his back.
It was the first time he saw Yamada like that.
But he figured he wanted that to be the last time he’s ever going to see him in this state simply because
“But I've been there before.”
---
Love happens all the time
Don’t we all experience it?
To fall for a person other than ourselves?
Chinen was one of them. One of those head-over-heels with someone. And that someone being Yamada Ryosuke.
To people who aren't kind
Did heartbreak come with it?
This…
Love?
And heroes who are blind
Sometimes he wonders why they’re still together. He made time stop in the world for him.
But Yamada couldn’t even spare him a second.
And so he says to himself he’ll end this.
He’ll end what is supposedly them.
“What did you want to talk about again?” Yamada faced him, a gentle smile spread across his face as his thumbs ran across Chinen’s cold fingers.
It helped spread the warmth throughout his body, like electric shocks effectively jolting his whole being. And he’s knees felt like jelly.
What didn’t help though, was how he was submitting to him again.
He knew to himself he can’t. Not now.
Not ever.
Expecting perfect scripted movie scenes
“I wanted to tell you….. I love you,” He did. But he couldn’t take the hurting anymore.
There is just a certain amount of pain a person can bare.
This time, he’ll let it pass. Like the thousands of times he did, yet again.
Who wants an awkward silent mystery?
Because he figured, his smile was worth it.
Even for his own heart ache.
---
How were you to know?
“You’re not paying me attention at all!” He screamed atop his lungs, childishness taking a hold of his whole being.
“Well I’m sorry!”
He spotted the worried tone in his voice, with the scrunch appearing in his forehead, “Do you even know what you should be sorry for?”
Well, how were you to know-oh-oh?
“No. But I’m sorry!”
And I, I hate to see your heart break
It required effort to say sorry. Afterall, Yamada was known to take pride of his being a man. And this was not man enough at all.
But at the same time, he just wished to be understood. Life was not all ruffles and butterflies.
Life is much crueler than that.
It takes a certain amount of seriousness to live life. To face what comes your way.
He hoped he’d initiate. To ask him whether he was okay.
Because laughs were not enough.
“I’m tired of this,” Chinen cried out. Finally.
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close
“Where the fuck are you going, Yamada!” bursting, he snapped at him, at the retreating back. He followed him to the kitchen, and there, he saw him take a hold of his strawberries.
“I’m eating my depression out. Please, just…” Tears. He was… crying.
But I've been there before
He remembered the rejection. He remembered the assumptions. He remembered the good-byes. And most of all, he remembered how they all hurt.
“I was… kidding,” clearing the tears that gathered at the corner of his eyes, he smiled.
Hearing this, Yamada stood up, tackling the boy to the ground with a hug.
“Thank you, Yuri,” A kiss, “I love you.”
And Chinen hoped he didn’t.
---
For all the air that's in your lungs
“Ryosuke…” He snuggled tight in his embrace, knowing fully well it was the last.
For all the joy that is to come
“Hmm?” Was his reply, though he didn’t forget to plant a kiss atop his head.
“Do you enjoy loving me?”
For all the things that you're alive to feel
He giggled, facing him fully, “What kind of question is that?”
Chinen pecked his lips, “I dunno.”
Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal
“It’s one of the best things I am experiencing in life.”
“I’m glad,” He smiled, gently this time, “I did too.”
Oh, how were you to know? (How were you to know?)
“Did?” He probably wished he heard wrong.
But Chinen finally figured it wasn’t working out. And he admitted to himself now wasn’t it.
For love?
Probably.
For them?
Oh, how were you to know?
Who knows.
It had been a good 10 years. And maybe, if they were meant for each other, then they will be together.
But they needed to learn more; to feel more in order to grow as persons.
To know, if all the pain was worth it.
And I, I hate to see your heart break
“What is something you regret the most in this world?” Yabu asked as they were asking silly questions to one another in one of their breaks.
“Mine is dying my hair blonde. Never again, dude. Not even for a million bucks,” Inoo said, cringing at the thought.
“Not taking up college probably,” Yuya thought, woo-ing the rest of Jump members, “It took me away from the chances of making out with a college girl in class.”
“Wow, Yuya, just wow,” Hikaru hit him with a pillow, “How about Yamada?”
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close
“It would be…” He lifted his gaze to meet Chinen’s, “not giving my all to someone I loved. After we parted, I realized how truly important that person is to me. And I would do anything to get things back the way before, only better. Love, actually; still love.”
“Ohhh, that was a serious one. And, Chinen?” Daiki prompted.
But I've been there before
A smile graced his lips, “I regret nothing.”
---
Sorry for the crappy writing, I hadn't been able to write for a long while. I was just feeling extremely down, and writing eases my bad vibes away. Please criticize to help me improve my work! :D
Pairing: YamaChine
Genre: Angst, Romance
Summary: Heartbreaks aren’t all bad.
AN: songfic of Hate to see your heart break from Paramore.
There is not a single word in the whole world
“I’m sorry.”
He listened to that deep, calming voice at the end of the line, a deep sigh escaping his lips. It was probably the deepest one he made in his entire life.
“The guys wanted to grab a few shots and-“
That could describe the hurt
He cut him before he can even sugarcoat the truth, “It’s okay, Ryosuke,” like the thousands of times he did.
The dullest knife just sawing back and forth
“I swear I won’t forget ever again.”
“Really?”
And ripping through the softest skin there ever was
Silence.
He eyed the cake he baked in his hands before throwing it down the dustbin, his appetite gone along with it.
“I’ll make it up to you.”
How were you to know?
Chinen figured it was no use hearing his reply, “You don’t need to.”
“I love you, Yuri.”
Oh, how were you to know?
He ended the call having no strength to reply. Taking his bruised fingers to his chest, he lied down his soft mattress, crying himself to sleep.
One day.
He asked for one day of his 365.
But then again, he was left comforting himself that he was with the Yamada Ryosuke. He’s probably piled up with more work compared to him.
That’s right, that’s just how it is.
It’s not like it’s their 8th anniversary or anything, right?
----
And I, I hate to see your heart break
It all started that day.
Yamada called him up all of a sudden. It was a bad day for him, and he lacked a shower, but he paid no mind as he welcomed his lover in.
They started with small talks. And it was going well.
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close
Until Yamada began crying.
With his small, shaky arms he enveloped him in a tight hug; a hand making comforting patterns at his back.
It was the first time he saw Yamada like that.
But he figured he wanted that to be the last time he’s ever going to see him in this state simply because
“But I've been there before.”
---
Love happens all the time
Don’t we all experience it?
To fall for a person other than ourselves?
Chinen was one of them. One of those head-over-heels with someone. And that someone being Yamada Ryosuke.
To people who aren't kind
Did heartbreak come with it?
This…
Love?
And heroes who are blind
Sometimes he wonders why they’re still together. He made time stop in the world for him.
But Yamada couldn’t even spare him a second.
And so he says to himself he’ll end this.
He’ll end what is supposedly them.
“What did you want to talk about again?” Yamada faced him, a gentle smile spread across his face as his thumbs ran across Chinen’s cold fingers.
It helped spread the warmth throughout his body, like electric shocks effectively jolting his whole being. And he’s knees felt like jelly.
What didn’t help though, was how he was submitting to him again.
He knew to himself he can’t. Not now.
Not ever.
Expecting perfect scripted movie scenes
“I wanted to tell you….. I love you,” He did. But he couldn’t take the hurting anymore.
There is just a certain amount of pain a person can bare.
This time, he’ll let it pass. Like the thousands of times he did, yet again.
Who wants an awkward silent mystery?
Because he figured, his smile was worth it.
Even for his own heart ache.
---
How were you to know?
“You’re not paying me attention at all!” He screamed atop his lungs, childishness taking a hold of his whole being.
“Well I’m sorry!”
He spotted the worried tone in his voice, with the scrunch appearing in his forehead, “Do you even know what you should be sorry for?”
Well, how were you to know-oh-oh?
“No. But I’m sorry!”
And I, I hate to see your heart break
It required effort to say sorry. Afterall, Yamada was known to take pride of his being a man. And this was not man enough at all.
But at the same time, he just wished to be understood. Life was not all ruffles and butterflies.
Life is much crueler than that.
It takes a certain amount of seriousness to live life. To face what comes your way.
He hoped he’d initiate. To ask him whether he was okay.
Because laughs were not enough.
“I’m tired of this,” Chinen cried out. Finally.
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close
“Where the fuck are you going, Yamada!” bursting, he snapped at him, at the retreating back. He followed him to the kitchen, and there, he saw him take a hold of his strawberries.
“I’m eating my depression out. Please, just…” Tears. He was… crying.
But I've been there before
He remembered the rejection. He remembered the assumptions. He remembered the good-byes. And most of all, he remembered how they all hurt.
“I was… kidding,” clearing the tears that gathered at the corner of his eyes, he smiled.
Hearing this, Yamada stood up, tackling the boy to the ground with a hug.
“Thank you, Yuri,” A kiss, “I love you.”
And Chinen hoped he didn’t.
---
For all the air that's in your lungs
“Ryosuke…” He snuggled tight in his embrace, knowing fully well it was the last.
For all the joy that is to come
“Hmm?” Was his reply, though he didn’t forget to plant a kiss atop his head.
“Do you enjoy loving me?”
For all the things that you're alive to feel
He giggled, facing him fully, “What kind of question is that?”
Chinen pecked his lips, “I dunno.”
Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal
“It’s one of the best things I am experiencing in life.”
“I’m glad,” He smiled, gently this time, “I did too.”
Oh, how were you to know? (How were you to know?)
“Did?” He probably wished he heard wrong.
But Chinen finally figured it wasn’t working out. And he admitted to himself now wasn’t it.
For love?
Probably.
For them?
Oh, how were you to know?
Who knows.
It had been a good 10 years. And maybe, if they were meant for each other, then they will be together.
But they needed to learn more; to feel more in order to grow as persons.
To know, if all the pain was worth it.
And I, I hate to see your heart break
“What is something you regret the most in this world?” Yabu asked as they were asking silly questions to one another in one of their breaks.
“Mine is dying my hair blonde. Never again, dude. Not even for a million bucks,” Inoo said, cringing at the thought.
“Not taking up college probably,” Yuya thought, woo-ing the rest of Jump members, “It took me away from the chances of making out with a college girl in class.”
“Wow, Yuya, just wow,” Hikaru hit him with a pillow, “How about Yamada?”
I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close
“It would be…” He lifted his gaze to meet Chinen’s, “not giving my all to someone I loved. After we parted, I realized how truly important that person is to me. And I would do anything to get things back the way before, only better. Love, actually; still love.”
“Ohhh, that was a serious one. And, Chinen?” Daiki prompted.
But I've been there before
A smile graced his lips, “I regret nothing.”
---
Sorry for the crappy writing, I hadn't been able to write for a long while. I was just feeling extremely down, and writing eases my bad vibes away. Please criticize to help me improve my work! :D