Fanfic: Gratifying Iniquity Chapter 4
Title: Gratifying Iniquity Chapter 4
Author: thedorabangs and ai_no_messeji
Pairing: TakaChii, YamaChii, DaiChii, NakaChii
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance, Fluff, Slice of Life
Warning: Incest~
Summary: Because some sins are worth all the pain.
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Borderline
『この手であなたを汚して』
I’ll dirty you with my hands.
…
…left hand pinning small arms into a tight lock, while body so strong pressed against such small frame that is now trembling in confusion and fear. Although alongside such provocative, such erotic display of passion, heavy pants and erratic breathings reverberate through the room like the sound of drums beating on a death parade.
Thump Dump… Thump Dump…
While their heartbeats, it goes in time with their heavy breathing as their eyes. It slowly met each other in a dance of unknown desire, and somehow that brought something to trigger down unconsciously on both of their shell-cased, vulnerable heart. But being the sadist that he is, Ryosuke heed no mind to what his heart says, because seeing such image--- of such disorientation and fallen grace, it made his inner demon growl in a predatory way. While his lips, it twitched into a satisfied smirk as his glazed eyes, it stared into Yuri’s dark orbs with hunger seeping through it.
And somehow that look and that smile, it made Yuri’s body shiver in fear.The small boy just felt very, very scared right now, especially of his older brother’s unexplainable gaze.
“Ryo-Ryosuke-niichan…” Yuri quivered as he tried to free himself from the tight grip. But since his older brother is stronger than him, he just couldn’t move away. So out of pure desperation he begged again, this time though before he could open his mouth. A grievous threat slowly came out of those beautifully sculpted lips.
“Don’t let me repeat my words twice…” Ryosuke whispered dangerously low and that made the little one in his arms close his mouth like an obedient child.
And Ryosuke now, seeing that notion, let out a satisfied smile before he dipped down and entrapped those trembling, moistened, pink lips of Yuri into a heated and very passionate kiss. While Yuri, who felt blank and aloof, just let that strawberry-flavored, delectable lips of his brother do its marvelous work against his now slightly agape mouth.
Because beyond all this, he really couldn’t do anything, because his Ryosuke-nii’s words, it is like poison being engraved into his flesh. However, even if it seems like that, hearing those words, hearing those vulgar, pressure-pinned lines from those saintly lips; it didn’t bring any contradiction into Yuri’s mind.Not unlike when his Yuya-niichan touched his lips or the way his Daiki-niichan roamed his hands against his skin. It felt different.
Because somehow…
The way his Ryosuke-niichan is handling him, it bores complexity that he couldn’t express. It makes his heart pound to the extent. It makes something churn inside his very being, kneading him-inch byinch. And it hurts him, yes. Yet somehow, it thrilled him at the same time.
That’s why, when Yuri felt Ryosuke’s lips leaving his mouth with an edible pop and a slight lick from that pink tongue. He felt shivers ran down his spine. Although amidst the unexplainable feelings he is encountering, there is still this nudge on his head; in his heart, telling him that this shouldn’t be. This isn’t right. Yet his innocence, it couldn’t comprehend such, because for him, for Yuri. All of this is an act of love- unconditional family love.
Listlessly and still in a daze, Yuri let out a gasp when he felt Ryosuke’s lips. That was once on his lips and savoring his taste, now hanging from his neck-breathing in, breathing out his scent. “…Push me away…” Ryosuke rasped teasingly against Yuri’s neck. And when he heard no qualm, only a small whimper of surprise, he continued on.
But, before his lips could even touch that porcelain neck, the most erotic sound filled his ears like bells, making him groan and just lunge in further into the depths of desire.
“…Ryo-Ha-ahhh-“Yuri cried out in sweet, torturous bliss, While those clueless, innocent, dark orbs of his. It started to water when he felt Ryosuke’s darkened, brown orbs stare at him with an expression that Yuri hasn’t seen before- pure, insatiable lust.
And somehow seeing that predatory gaze from those cold eyes, Yuri couldn’t do anything but just close his eyes tight, because even if he wanted to run away, complain and just hide. He couldn’t. Because the moment he felt his Ryosuke-niichan’s raspy breathing against his skin. The moment he felt those lips and those teeth scraping his neck, something deep inside just wanted to burst out and that stopped him mid-track from what he is about to say, because the moment he felt those things. He suddenly felt a burning sensation clouding his senses like fire.
He felt bounded.
He felt trapped.
Although, even if Yuri is lost within the dark depths of confusion and unholy acts. Salvation, so it seem, could never be granted to the little boy’s slowly rotting soul. Because as Ryosuke’s candid fingers, tightened its hold on his reddening wrist; while his lips of luscious red slowly yet gently continued on to smear hungry, heated butterfly kisses along that deliciously sculpted jawline.
The questions and the confusion it brings with it. It slowly starts to build up inside Yuri’s mind.
And somehow those pent up things, it pressures Yuri more. Because his Ryosuke-niichan. He keeps on stressing their differences with his rough actions. The older boy, he just keeps on engraving to Yuri’s skull, to his skin, the power he can inflict, and the dominance he has over him.
With that, it just hurt Yuri so. Because his older brother, Ryosuke. He keeps on pushing him away. While those unwelcoming actions, it is telling the little boy that he can never be family. Never be a part of them- their world.
That is the reason why Yuri is hurting more and more inside. He just couldn’t accept those facts. He is stubborn like that. More so, what really hurt the little boy the most is that his Ryosuke-niichan. He doesn’t seem to mind his feelings. He doesn’t seem to care of what’s happening to him.
The older boy just continuously pushes him away and inflicts to him damage he can’t seem to fix and repair.
“Ryo-niichan…P-please sto-stop… Don’t do this. It’s hurting me.”Yuri’s voice begged again and again as he tries to struggle and push his Ryosuke-niichan away. Since, the moment Ryosuke’s lips repeatedly began to penetrate the little one’s skin and lay kisses onto his cream-colored flesh. The constriction it brought to the little boy’s lungs.
It is unexplainable.
Yuri just couldn’t reprimand. He really needs his breathing space, especially now; because ever since he entered this house-his new home. He felt really tight, like he is being pushed inside a small box he can’t fit in. He just couldn’t breathe.
Please let me breathe, nii-chan… please let me stay alive. Yuri cried silently into the recesses of his mind; while tears of desperation continuously fall on his flushed cheeks. Because at that very moment, all he wants. All Yuri really wants, is to get away and escape. Because the pressure; it is just too much for him to intake.
There is just too much questions running through his head that he himself can’t even answer.
It makes the little boy feel hollow and empty. He just can’t grasp anything. Because everything…everything that’s been presented to him up until now. It just confuses him so. Even the atmosphere between him and his Ryosuke-niichan now, it suffocates him.
And Yuri is smart. He knows for a fact that he shouldn’t doubt anything, especially his new family. The little boy is aware of that, he knows. But still. There is just something, a huge dent and a hidden meaning behind these actions his brothers are showing him.
He doesn’t know what though. Yet thinking about it, it scares him a lot…because all of these weird sensations- in his lungs, in his chest, in his whole body-he just couldn’t understand… comprehend. Nothing like this has ever happened to him before. He has never felt this kind of confusion before-never, ever in his dear life.
Though, even so, even if he doesn’t want any more confusion right now; the little boy couldn’t help but be curious with the sensation he is feeling because, with that hot breath barring his skin, with those strong arms gripping his wrist and those lips travelling its way into his very soul. There is something in there. It is like a certain kind of churn in his stomach that only his Ryosuke-nii could awaken.
Since, the unexplainable feeling, it only appears whenever his Ryosuke-nii is around. Most especially whenever that presence… that essence and those hands- so big and so warm-touches his skin with pure anger and hate.
Somehow, it brings a spark. It brings light on Yuri’s side.
…because really, these kind of stuffs, it is meant out of love, right?
“Ha-nggghhh… Ryo-nii…” Yuri cried desperately, while sweet lips searched every inch of his mouth….while his little fingers, it started to turn white from the hard pressure-grip of Ryosuke’s hand.
Seduction
Doing these kind of things… like what his Yuya-nii and his Daiki-nii did. It is normal, right? They do it because Yuri is family and family is always loved, right?
That’s why, even if his Ryosuke-nii’s action shows the opposite. Yuri believes that deep inside. His Ryosuke-nii loves him. The older boy is just afraid now, so very afraid.
“Ah…nggghhh…. Nii-aahh….”A throaty whimper accompanied by Ryosuke’s moistened pink tongue slowly slithering hungrily inside Yuri’s slightly opened mouth…
Temptation
…but still,why is the beating of his heart so erratic? Why does his body say differently otherwise? Why does he feel guilt? Why does he doubt? And why…why everything that has been happening to him feels so intoxicating and poisonous? Like everything is slowly killing him inside…
The little boy wants to know the answers.
But he is very reluctant, so very, very afraid that one wrong slip of words, one wrong move, and one mistake could kill the God-sent gift that’s been given to him. He might lose everyone, especially this kind and loving family and the chance to be happy-forever and always.
He might not have it again so…
He’ll just let everything slip.
…because he knows, in his heart, that this is the meaning of love.
“…ngggh-nii-chaan…“ Yuri arched his back and cried from the sensation-the ecstasy-his older brother is giving him. Though, when charcoal suddenly met piercing brown for the second time around, the world started to crash down.
“Shut up.” Those mahogany glazed eyes commanded, and after that… Yuri felt nothing. The belief earlier, of his beautiful, older brother loving him, it just vanished like air. Because when his dark eyes met his older brother’s cold brown eyes, he saw nothing but pure hate and resentment boring at his soul, skinning him to pulp.
Yuri felt dead.
Ryosuke, on the other hand, is just left into his own world hazed with lust as he continues to assault Yuri’s reddened flesh.
“R-Ryo-ni-nii…” The little boy moaned, when he felt lips running down his throat, kissing his neck and burning his soul into ashes. While pools of brown, it dangerously stares at him, seemingly watching his every move with hunger. While lips of velvet and saccharine, it kept on teasing as it moves to nip and slowly carve little bugs of love bites into that milky, creamy skin that he wants to claim as his own.
Breathless, “R-Ryosuke-“Yuri rasped his older brother’s birth name without any honorifics, and that. That snapped Ryosuke back into his reverie as reality slowly dawned on him.
While his act of sin. It flashed by his mind painfully slow.
“…fuck!” Ryosuke cursed, while pulling his body away from the little boy, who is now panting heavily a top his crimson bed, “FUCK!!!” He screamed as he punched his right arm against the wall, making his hand bleed.
While in his head he repeats cursing himself, over and over again.“What were you doing, Ryosuke? You fucked up shit.” He cried while he continued on to punch the wall with hard blows, “You twisted piece of shit. What were you trying to do!? You corrupted son of a bitch.” He questioned himself before he looked at his now bloody right arm.
“Shit.” He cursed again. But through all the pain, Ryosuke didn’t care, didn’t mind. He just needs to get away. He needs to escape. He needs Yuri out.
He needs him out NOW.
“…get out.” He hissed angrily at the little boy lying on his bed.
Yet Yuri, who is still in a daze, couldn’t response nor hear his words; and somehow that angered the older boy more, “I said…you little-” Ryosuke grunted before he went to where Yuri is and pulled him up from his bed, “You brat! I told you to get out didn’t I? So get out NOW!!!” Ryosuke barked as he pulled the little boy more harshly this time. He then, when he sensed no movement, pushed Yuri out the door and slammed it hard on the little boy’s face.
…and with Ryosuke’s harsh action, that brought Yuri’sconsciousness back. Though,the little boy, hefelt disarray and delude after, since he just didn’t know what to do, how he’ll respond to everything that has happened inside that room. He can’t even explain what happened to him- to them. So as an act ofdefense and protection from his slowly breaking self, he just curled up into a tight ball and cried.
Yuri just didn’t know what to do or where he’ll go now.
Hejust really feels lost.
“…Ryo-niichan.” The little boy calls out desperately as his heart slowly go into point black.
…
Yuto, who is currently looking for food inside the kitchen, suddenly jolt up when he heard the loud commotion outside. And being the curious and the responsible one out of the three, he hurriedly went out of the room to check what’s happening.
But when he saw nothing but an empty hallway, he decided to just shrug it off and go back to his own room, since he has nothing else to do anymore. He lost his appetite anyway. Though when he came across Ryosuke’s room, he saw little Yuri cuddled up into a tight ball crying his heart out at the corner.
And that somehow made Yuto feel his heart clench tight into his chest. Because ever since this morning, his baby brother seems to be out of his cheerful self. And also as Yuto have noticed, the little boy has been crying a lot lately, even when Ryosuke took the little boy inside his room.
Remembering Ryosuke, now the second oldest is baffled and confused.
“Weren’t Ryosuke and Yuri together a while ago? What did Ryosuke do now…?” Yuto asked himself before he proceeded to go to Yuri’s side.
Although, as his feet neared the crying boy, Yuto suddenly felt helpless; because when he saw the little boy’s wreck state. His heart, it just shattered instantly. It just brought him guilt, because ever since Yuri entered their humble home, so it seems that all that the little one ever did in his stay is just cry and tire his eyes out with tears.
For an orphaned child, such treatment and such environment is not acceptable. Because one, who is left alone for such a long time seek for something in contrast to what have been lost to his whole life before. Mostly at this kind of situation, it’s the love of a family. And with Ryosuke’s act, he is voiding Yuri of it and that what’s hurts Yuto most, because they are all brothers now. Nothing will change those facts, not anymore.
“Yuri-chan…” Yuto called out in a whisper as he squatted down and patted the younger’s jet black hair, “…what’s wrong?” he asked, though the only thing he got as a response is a hiccup and a whimper, making Yuto sigh.
“It’s hard right…” Yuto stared concernedly at the still weeping boy, “…because, ever since you entered this house, all that you seem to do is cry, right?” Yuto asked softly as he pulls the crying boy into his embrace“…and Yuto-nii is sorry for that, okay? I couldn’t be a big brother to you, because I can’t stop those tears from falling from my baby brother’s pretty eyes.” Yuto explained, while tears. It started to roll down on his face too, “…I am not a good niichan, ne? I can’t even protect my baby brother from the things that make him cry.” Yuto sniffed and that made Yuri look up to him with regret.
“Do-Don’t cry…Yuto-nii…” Yuri muffled out and slowly wiped Yuto’s tears away with his small thumb, and that made Yuto’s cheeks flush.
This boy is really sweet. Yuto told himself before he ruffled Yuri’s hair and that made the little boy stop his crying and just gave a cute pout, making Yuto laugh hard. The older boy felt at ease at the moment. So it seems that the little angel in his arms could really brighten up his mood and uplift his spirits.
And somehow with those Yuto made a promise to himself that as the new niichan to the little guy. He’ll do his very best to make this new little brother of his happy. He never wants to see those tears again, especially if he is there. He just wants to cheer Yuri up and make him smile again in anyways that he can.
That is his role after all. He is an older brother.
“…Yuri-chan~” Yuto called enthusiastically before he poked Yuri’s puffy cheeks. But when he received nothing but a pout and a dazed look; it made Yuto pout as well.
Yabaiiyo…something is bothering his baby brother and he need to cheer him up fast! Yuto panicked in his head. Though as the person who is known to be a pursuer and doesn’t easily give up. That response that he got from Yuri, it only made the older boy become much more determined to achieve his goal of cheering the little one up.That’s why, just to uplift the heavy tension, Yuto gave his megawatt smile and suddenly lay beside the little boy with a sulky face of his own.
“Yuri-chan won’t look at me.” He playfully sniffed and wailed and that made the little one beside him gaze at him with teary eyes, “Yu-Yu…Yuto-niichan?” Yuri called out confused before he rubbed his eyes and gave his best puppy look to Yuto’s now shocked face, “Pi-Please don’t cry again… Yu-Yuri is sorry…” Yuri hiccupped and begged as droplets of tears started to run down his redden cheeks again.
Shocked, Yuto stuttered out “He-Hey, Yu-Yuri-chan…”, before he pulled the little guy into a tight hug for the second time around, “…Shhhhh….there, there…” Yuto cooed, “Don’t cry. I was just joking.” Yuto explained with a weird, panicky expression and that made the latter in his embrace giggle.
“You look funny, niichan~” Yuri commented with a cute smile grazing his slightly moist, pink lips. And that made Yuto blush tenfold. He doesn’t know why though. This little brother of his is just very charismatic for his own good. He just brings feelings that even Yuto can’t comprehend, because somehow by just seeing that cute face in that fragile and vulnerable state. It just makes something stir inside Yuto’s stomach. Although, he didn’t heed any mind to it. His priority always comes first in his life. And right now, his goal is to make his little brother smile so that’s what he’ll focus on.
Laughing, Yuto stuck his tongue out and ruffled Yuri’s hair again, “…Heeyy! Who’s ugly!?” Yuto puffed his cheeks and Yuri just laughed, “Not ugly Yuto-nii! I said funny!” Yuri giggled while pinching Yuto’s puffed cheeks.
“Ehh?” Yuto made a funny face before he tilted his head to the side and that made the little one, who is now sitting on his lap, burst out with fruitful laughter.And somehow hearing that beautiful laughter, it made Yuto feel satisfied.
Grinning, Yuto pinched Yuri’s nose, “Although…” Yuto laughed.
“Eh? Although, what niichan?” Yuri asked.
“Although, I-I do it with a fee, you know~ “Yuto said with a smug face, “…because the Yuto-Yuto ‘Face Carnival’ is really expensive.” The tall boy let out a chuckle, while looking at Yuri’s now horrified face, “…and Yuri can’t afford it because it is worth millions of yen.” Yuto snickered before he patted Yuri’s hair like a puppy, “…but since, it is for the purpose of making my little, baby brother, Yuri smile. It’s free of charge, for Yuri only though.” He winked and smiled.
Hearing those words, Yuri felt ecstatic and happy again, “Yey~ Yuri has his privileges to Yuto-niichan’s ‘Face Carnival’.” He cheered before glomping his very sweet and very kind Yuto-niichan, “I love yooouu~” Yuri smiled genuinely before giving his Yuto-nii a peck on the nose, “I love Yuto-niichan very much!”
Feeling his heart beating fast, Yuto could only give his smile when he heard the sweet, brotherly declaration of love. He couldn’t help but be proud of it. Though deep inside, unknown to him, something is already clawing at his soul.
“…Come now, Yuri.” The taller boy called out when he saw the time on the hallway clock, “Let’s make some food for you. It’s already lunch.” Yuto exclaimed before he squatted down and patted his back.
Yuri, who is looking confused, asked, “Yuto-niichan?”
Seeing that cute reaction, Yuto only laughed.
“Piggyback, you don’t want?” the taller boy asked teasingly and that made the little boy blush. “Really?” Yuri confirmed enthusiastically and when he saw his Yuto-nii nod his head. He selfishly hopped on Yuto’s back with a huge grin on his pretty face, “Yeeeeyyy~” Yuri cried out happily, while Yuto only chuckled and nodded his head,
“You are just like Ryosuke, did you know that Yuri?” Yuto said to himself as he looked at the cheerful boy on his back, “…if only he’ll accept you. I really think we can be a happy family.” Yuto shrugged and just smiled. He couldn’t do anything right now after all. His other baby brother, he is just as stubborn as a rock. So if he really did want change, he should just stay on what he can fix and not go over the line.
“Yey~” Yuto stood up and cheered with Yuri as they he proceeded to the kitchen with a goofy smile hanging on both of their faces, “LUNCCH~”
…
Although unknown to the two, Ryosuke is staring and watching them from the small opening of his door. Somewhat angry, somewhat filled with nothing but hate. But as the small of his older brother and Yuri’s back vanish from his eyesight, a lone tear suddenly escaped his miserable brown eyes, while a tint of red from his wounded hand slowly left its mark on the ground of his closing heart.
“I’m sorry…” he whispered so vague and soft, before he closed the door to his room shut.
…
『いつか滅び行きこの体ならば蝕まれたいあなたの愛で』
If my body’s going to die one day, then I want it to rot from your love.
----
Ai’s Notes: This chapter is heavy for me. I went with the insight of the story. Vague on what they really did-more on thoughts underneath. I don’t even know if I did give it justice? But I did try to lighten it up with Yutti. I hope it helped. I failed this one didn’t I? I’m very sorryNatsucchi. I am very sorry everyone. I really don’t know what happened in this chapter. But, but… my poor Yuri and Ryosuke.Also, I’m sorry this took so long, gomenasai.
Natsu's Notes: ohghad I love Aipyon! <3 lol this chapter is awesome! hohoho btw next chapter might come in late again since we're busy :P enjoy~~
Author: thedorabangs and ai_no_messeji
Pairing: TakaChii, YamaChii, DaiChii, NakaChii
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst, Drama, Romance, Fluff, Slice of Life
Warning: Incest~
Summary: Because some sins are worth all the pain.
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Borderline
『この手であなたを汚して』
I’ll dirty you with my hands.
…
…left hand pinning small arms into a tight lock, while body so strong pressed against such small frame that is now trembling in confusion and fear. Although alongside such provocative, such erotic display of passion, heavy pants and erratic breathings reverberate through the room like the sound of drums beating on a death parade.
Thump Dump… Thump Dump…
While their heartbeats, it goes in time with their heavy breathing as their eyes. It slowly met each other in a dance of unknown desire, and somehow that brought something to trigger down unconsciously on both of their shell-cased, vulnerable heart. But being the sadist that he is, Ryosuke heed no mind to what his heart says, because seeing such image--- of such disorientation and fallen grace, it made his inner demon growl in a predatory way. While his lips, it twitched into a satisfied smirk as his glazed eyes, it stared into Yuri’s dark orbs with hunger seeping through it.
And somehow that look and that smile, it made Yuri’s body shiver in fear.The small boy just felt very, very scared right now, especially of his older brother’s unexplainable gaze.
“Ryo-Ryosuke-niichan…” Yuri quivered as he tried to free himself from the tight grip. But since his older brother is stronger than him, he just couldn’t move away. So out of pure desperation he begged again, this time though before he could open his mouth. A grievous threat slowly came out of those beautifully sculpted lips.
“Don’t let me repeat my words twice…” Ryosuke whispered dangerously low and that made the little one in his arms close his mouth like an obedient child.
And Ryosuke now, seeing that notion, let out a satisfied smile before he dipped down and entrapped those trembling, moistened, pink lips of Yuri into a heated and very passionate kiss. While Yuri, who felt blank and aloof, just let that strawberry-flavored, delectable lips of his brother do its marvelous work against his now slightly agape mouth.
Because beyond all this, he really couldn’t do anything, because his Ryosuke-nii’s words, it is like poison being engraved into his flesh. However, even if it seems like that, hearing those words, hearing those vulgar, pressure-pinned lines from those saintly lips; it didn’t bring any contradiction into Yuri’s mind.Not unlike when his Yuya-niichan touched his lips or the way his Daiki-niichan roamed his hands against his skin. It felt different.
Because somehow…
The way his Ryosuke-niichan is handling him, it bores complexity that he couldn’t express. It makes his heart pound to the extent. It makes something churn inside his very being, kneading him-inch byinch. And it hurts him, yes. Yet somehow, it thrilled him at the same time.
That’s why, when Yuri felt Ryosuke’s lips leaving his mouth with an edible pop and a slight lick from that pink tongue. He felt shivers ran down his spine. Although amidst the unexplainable feelings he is encountering, there is still this nudge on his head; in his heart, telling him that this shouldn’t be. This isn’t right. Yet his innocence, it couldn’t comprehend such, because for him, for Yuri. All of this is an act of love- unconditional family love.
Listlessly and still in a daze, Yuri let out a gasp when he felt Ryosuke’s lips. That was once on his lips and savoring his taste, now hanging from his neck-breathing in, breathing out his scent. “…Push me away…” Ryosuke rasped teasingly against Yuri’s neck. And when he heard no qualm, only a small whimper of surprise, he continued on.
But, before his lips could even touch that porcelain neck, the most erotic sound filled his ears like bells, making him groan and just lunge in further into the depths of desire.
“…Ryo-Ha-ahhh-“Yuri cried out in sweet, torturous bliss, While those clueless, innocent, dark orbs of his. It started to water when he felt Ryosuke’s darkened, brown orbs stare at him with an expression that Yuri hasn’t seen before- pure, insatiable lust.
And somehow seeing that predatory gaze from those cold eyes, Yuri couldn’t do anything but just close his eyes tight, because even if he wanted to run away, complain and just hide. He couldn’t. Because the moment he felt his Ryosuke-niichan’s raspy breathing against his skin. The moment he felt those lips and those teeth scraping his neck, something deep inside just wanted to burst out and that stopped him mid-track from what he is about to say, because the moment he felt those things. He suddenly felt a burning sensation clouding his senses like fire.
He felt bounded.
He felt trapped.
Although, even if Yuri is lost within the dark depths of confusion and unholy acts. Salvation, so it seem, could never be granted to the little boy’s slowly rotting soul. Because as Ryosuke’s candid fingers, tightened its hold on his reddening wrist; while his lips of luscious red slowly yet gently continued on to smear hungry, heated butterfly kisses along that deliciously sculpted jawline.
The questions and the confusion it brings with it. It slowly starts to build up inside Yuri’s mind.
And somehow those pent up things, it pressures Yuri more. Because his Ryosuke-niichan. He keeps on stressing their differences with his rough actions. The older boy, he just keeps on engraving to Yuri’s skull, to his skin, the power he can inflict, and the dominance he has over him.
With that, it just hurt Yuri so. Because his older brother, Ryosuke. He keeps on pushing him away. While those unwelcoming actions, it is telling the little boy that he can never be family. Never be a part of them- their world.
That is the reason why Yuri is hurting more and more inside. He just couldn’t accept those facts. He is stubborn like that. More so, what really hurt the little boy the most is that his Ryosuke-niichan. He doesn’t seem to mind his feelings. He doesn’t seem to care of what’s happening to him.
The older boy just continuously pushes him away and inflicts to him damage he can’t seem to fix and repair.
“Ryo-niichan…P-please sto-stop… Don’t do this. It’s hurting me.”Yuri’s voice begged again and again as he tries to struggle and push his Ryosuke-niichan away. Since, the moment Ryosuke’s lips repeatedly began to penetrate the little one’s skin and lay kisses onto his cream-colored flesh. The constriction it brought to the little boy’s lungs.
It is unexplainable.
Yuri just couldn’t reprimand. He really needs his breathing space, especially now; because ever since he entered this house-his new home. He felt really tight, like he is being pushed inside a small box he can’t fit in. He just couldn’t breathe.
Please let me breathe, nii-chan… please let me stay alive. Yuri cried silently into the recesses of his mind; while tears of desperation continuously fall on his flushed cheeks. Because at that very moment, all he wants. All Yuri really wants, is to get away and escape. Because the pressure; it is just too much for him to intake.
There is just too much questions running through his head that he himself can’t even answer.
It makes the little boy feel hollow and empty. He just can’t grasp anything. Because everything…everything that’s been presented to him up until now. It just confuses him so. Even the atmosphere between him and his Ryosuke-niichan now, it suffocates him.
And Yuri is smart. He knows for a fact that he shouldn’t doubt anything, especially his new family. The little boy is aware of that, he knows. But still. There is just something, a huge dent and a hidden meaning behind these actions his brothers are showing him.
He doesn’t know what though. Yet thinking about it, it scares him a lot…because all of these weird sensations- in his lungs, in his chest, in his whole body-he just couldn’t understand… comprehend. Nothing like this has ever happened to him before. He has never felt this kind of confusion before-never, ever in his dear life.
Though, even so, even if he doesn’t want any more confusion right now; the little boy couldn’t help but be curious with the sensation he is feeling because, with that hot breath barring his skin, with those strong arms gripping his wrist and those lips travelling its way into his very soul. There is something in there. It is like a certain kind of churn in his stomach that only his Ryosuke-nii could awaken.
Since, the unexplainable feeling, it only appears whenever his Ryosuke-nii is around. Most especially whenever that presence… that essence and those hands- so big and so warm-touches his skin with pure anger and hate.
Somehow, it brings a spark. It brings light on Yuri’s side.
…because really, these kind of stuffs, it is meant out of love, right?
“Ha-nggghhh… Ryo-nii…” Yuri cried desperately, while sweet lips searched every inch of his mouth….while his little fingers, it started to turn white from the hard pressure-grip of Ryosuke’s hand.
Seduction
Doing these kind of things… like what his Yuya-nii and his Daiki-nii did. It is normal, right? They do it because Yuri is family and family is always loved, right?
That’s why, even if his Ryosuke-nii’s action shows the opposite. Yuri believes that deep inside. His Ryosuke-nii loves him. The older boy is just afraid now, so very afraid.
“Ah…nggghhh…. Nii-aahh….”A throaty whimper accompanied by Ryosuke’s moistened pink tongue slowly slithering hungrily inside Yuri’s slightly opened mouth…
Temptation
…but still,why is the beating of his heart so erratic? Why does his body say differently otherwise? Why does he feel guilt? Why does he doubt? And why…why everything that has been happening to him feels so intoxicating and poisonous? Like everything is slowly killing him inside…
The little boy wants to know the answers.
But he is very reluctant, so very, very afraid that one wrong slip of words, one wrong move, and one mistake could kill the God-sent gift that’s been given to him. He might lose everyone, especially this kind and loving family and the chance to be happy-forever and always.
He might not have it again so…
He’ll just let everything slip.
…because he knows, in his heart, that this is the meaning of love.
“…ngggh-nii-chaan…“ Yuri arched his back and cried from the sensation-the ecstasy-his older brother is giving him. Though, when charcoal suddenly met piercing brown for the second time around, the world started to crash down.
“Shut up.” Those mahogany glazed eyes commanded, and after that… Yuri felt nothing. The belief earlier, of his beautiful, older brother loving him, it just vanished like air. Because when his dark eyes met his older brother’s cold brown eyes, he saw nothing but pure hate and resentment boring at his soul, skinning him to pulp.
Yuri felt dead.
Ryosuke, on the other hand, is just left into his own world hazed with lust as he continues to assault Yuri’s reddened flesh.
“R-Ryo-ni-nii…” The little boy moaned, when he felt lips running down his throat, kissing his neck and burning his soul into ashes. While pools of brown, it dangerously stares at him, seemingly watching his every move with hunger. While lips of velvet and saccharine, it kept on teasing as it moves to nip and slowly carve little bugs of love bites into that milky, creamy skin that he wants to claim as his own.
Breathless, “R-Ryosuke-“Yuri rasped his older brother’s birth name without any honorifics, and that. That snapped Ryosuke back into his reverie as reality slowly dawned on him.
While his act of sin. It flashed by his mind painfully slow.
“…fuck!” Ryosuke cursed, while pulling his body away from the little boy, who is now panting heavily a top his crimson bed, “FUCK!!!” He screamed as he punched his right arm against the wall, making his hand bleed.
While in his head he repeats cursing himself, over and over again.“What were you doing, Ryosuke? You fucked up shit.” He cried while he continued on to punch the wall with hard blows, “You twisted piece of shit. What were you trying to do!? You corrupted son of a bitch.” He questioned himself before he looked at his now bloody right arm.
“Shit.” He cursed again. But through all the pain, Ryosuke didn’t care, didn’t mind. He just needs to get away. He needs to escape. He needs Yuri out.
He needs him out NOW.
“…get out.” He hissed angrily at the little boy lying on his bed.
Yet Yuri, who is still in a daze, couldn’t response nor hear his words; and somehow that angered the older boy more, “I said…you little-” Ryosuke grunted before he went to where Yuri is and pulled him up from his bed, “You brat! I told you to get out didn’t I? So get out NOW!!!” Ryosuke barked as he pulled the little boy more harshly this time. He then, when he sensed no movement, pushed Yuri out the door and slammed it hard on the little boy’s face.
…and with Ryosuke’s harsh action, that brought Yuri’sconsciousness back. Though,the little boy, hefelt disarray and delude after, since he just didn’t know what to do, how he’ll respond to everything that has happened inside that room. He can’t even explain what happened to him- to them. So as an act ofdefense and protection from his slowly breaking self, he just curled up into a tight ball and cried.
Yuri just didn’t know what to do or where he’ll go now.
Hejust really feels lost.
“…Ryo-niichan.” The little boy calls out desperately as his heart slowly go into point black.
…
Yuto, who is currently looking for food inside the kitchen, suddenly jolt up when he heard the loud commotion outside. And being the curious and the responsible one out of the three, he hurriedly went out of the room to check what’s happening.
But when he saw nothing but an empty hallway, he decided to just shrug it off and go back to his own room, since he has nothing else to do anymore. He lost his appetite anyway. Though when he came across Ryosuke’s room, he saw little Yuri cuddled up into a tight ball crying his heart out at the corner.
And that somehow made Yuto feel his heart clench tight into his chest. Because ever since this morning, his baby brother seems to be out of his cheerful self. And also as Yuto have noticed, the little boy has been crying a lot lately, even when Ryosuke took the little boy inside his room.
Remembering Ryosuke, now the second oldest is baffled and confused.
“Weren’t Ryosuke and Yuri together a while ago? What did Ryosuke do now…?” Yuto asked himself before he proceeded to go to Yuri’s side.
Although, as his feet neared the crying boy, Yuto suddenly felt helpless; because when he saw the little boy’s wreck state. His heart, it just shattered instantly. It just brought him guilt, because ever since Yuri entered their humble home, so it seems that all that the little one ever did in his stay is just cry and tire his eyes out with tears.
For an orphaned child, such treatment and such environment is not acceptable. Because one, who is left alone for such a long time seek for something in contrast to what have been lost to his whole life before. Mostly at this kind of situation, it’s the love of a family. And with Ryosuke’s act, he is voiding Yuri of it and that what’s hurts Yuto most, because they are all brothers now. Nothing will change those facts, not anymore.
“Yuri-chan…” Yuto called out in a whisper as he squatted down and patted the younger’s jet black hair, “…what’s wrong?” he asked, though the only thing he got as a response is a hiccup and a whimper, making Yuto sigh.
“It’s hard right…” Yuto stared concernedly at the still weeping boy, “…because, ever since you entered this house, all that you seem to do is cry, right?” Yuto asked softly as he pulls the crying boy into his embrace“…and Yuto-nii is sorry for that, okay? I couldn’t be a big brother to you, because I can’t stop those tears from falling from my baby brother’s pretty eyes.” Yuto explained, while tears. It started to roll down on his face too, “…I am not a good niichan, ne? I can’t even protect my baby brother from the things that make him cry.” Yuto sniffed and that made Yuri look up to him with regret.
“Do-Don’t cry…Yuto-nii…” Yuri muffled out and slowly wiped Yuto’s tears away with his small thumb, and that made Yuto’s cheeks flush.
This boy is really sweet. Yuto told himself before he ruffled Yuri’s hair and that made the little boy stop his crying and just gave a cute pout, making Yuto laugh hard. The older boy felt at ease at the moment. So it seems that the little angel in his arms could really brighten up his mood and uplift his spirits.
And somehow with those Yuto made a promise to himself that as the new niichan to the little guy. He’ll do his very best to make this new little brother of his happy. He never wants to see those tears again, especially if he is there. He just wants to cheer Yuri up and make him smile again in anyways that he can.
That is his role after all. He is an older brother.
“…Yuri-chan~” Yuto called enthusiastically before he poked Yuri’s puffy cheeks. But when he received nothing but a pout and a dazed look; it made Yuto pout as well.
Yabaiiyo…something is bothering his baby brother and he need to cheer him up fast! Yuto panicked in his head. Though as the person who is known to be a pursuer and doesn’t easily give up. That response that he got from Yuri, it only made the older boy become much more determined to achieve his goal of cheering the little one up.That’s why, just to uplift the heavy tension, Yuto gave his megawatt smile and suddenly lay beside the little boy with a sulky face of his own.
“Yuri-chan won’t look at me.” He playfully sniffed and wailed and that made the little one beside him gaze at him with teary eyes, “Yu-Yu…Yuto-niichan?” Yuri called out confused before he rubbed his eyes and gave his best puppy look to Yuto’s now shocked face, “Pi-Please don’t cry again… Yu-Yuri is sorry…” Yuri hiccupped and begged as droplets of tears started to run down his redden cheeks again.
Shocked, Yuto stuttered out “He-Hey, Yu-Yuri-chan…”, before he pulled the little guy into a tight hug for the second time around, “…Shhhhh….there, there…” Yuto cooed, “Don’t cry. I was just joking.” Yuto explained with a weird, panicky expression and that made the latter in his embrace giggle.
“You look funny, niichan~” Yuri commented with a cute smile grazing his slightly moist, pink lips. And that made Yuto blush tenfold. He doesn’t know why though. This little brother of his is just very charismatic for his own good. He just brings feelings that even Yuto can’t comprehend, because somehow by just seeing that cute face in that fragile and vulnerable state. It just makes something stir inside Yuto’s stomach. Although, he didn’t heed any mind to it. His priority always comes first in his life. And right now, his goal is to make his little brother smile so that’s what he’ll focus on.
Laughing, Yuto stuck his tongue out and ruffled Yuri’s hair again, “…Heeyy! Who’s ugly!?” Yuto puffed his cheeks and Yuri just laughed, “Not ugly Yuto-nii! I said funny!” Yuri giggled while pinching Yuto’s puffed cheeks.
“Ehh?” Yuto made a funny face before he tilted his head to the side and that made the little one, who is now sitting on his lap, burst out with fruitful laughter.And somehow hearing that beautiful laughter, it made Yuto feel satisfied.
Grinning, Yuto pinched Yuri’s nose, “Although…” Yuto laughed.
“Eh? Although, what niichan?” Yuri asked.
“Although, I-I do it with a fee, you know~ “Yuto said with a smug face, “…because the Yuto-Yuto ‘Face Carnival’ is really expensive.” The tall boy let out a chuckle, while looking at Yuri’s now horrified face, “…and Yuri can’t afford it because it is worth millions of yen.” Yuto snickered before he patted Yuri’s hair like a puppy, “…but since, it is for the purpose of making my little, baby brother, Yuri smile. It’s free of charge, for Yuri only though.” He winked and smiled.
Hearing those words, Yuri felt ecstatic and happy again, “Yey~ Yuri has his privileges to Yuto-niichan’s ‘Face Carnival’.” He cheered before glomping his very sweet and very kind Yuto-niichan, “I love yooouu~” Yuri smiled genuinely before giving his Yuto-nii a peck on the nose, “I love Yuto-niichan very much!”
Feeling his heart beating fast, Yuto could only give his smile when he heard the sweet, brotherly declaration of love. He couldn’t help but be proud of it. Though deep inside, unknown to him, something is already clawing at his soul.
“…Come now, Yuri.” The taller boy called out when he saw the time on the hallway clock, “Let’s make some food for you. It’s already lunch.” Yuto exclaimed before he squatted down and patted his back.
Yuri, who is looking confused, asked, “Yuto-niichan?”
Seeing that cute reaction, Yuto only laughed.
“Piggyback, you don’t want?” the taller boy asked teasingly and that made the little boy blush. “Really?” Yuri confirmed enthusiastically and when he saw his Yuto-nii nod his head. He selfishly hopped on Yuto’s back with a huge grin on his pretty face, “Yeeeeyyy~” Yuri cried out happily, while Yuto only chuckled and nodded his head,
“You are just like Ryosuke, did you know that Yuri?” Yuto said to himself as he looked at the cheerful boy on his back, “…if only he’ll accept you. I really think we can be a happy family.” Yuto shrugged and just smiled. He couldn’t do anything right now after all. His other baby brother, he is just as stubborn as a rock. So if he really did want change, he should just stay on what he can fix and not go over the line.
“Yey~” Yuto stood up and cheered with Yuri as they he proceeded to the kitchen with a goofy smile hanging on both of their faces, “LUNCCH~”
…
Although unknown to the two, Ryosuke is staring and watching them from the small opening of his door. Somewhat angry, somewhat filled with nothing but hate. But as the small of his older brother and Yuri’s back vanish from his eyesight, a lone tear suddenly escaped his miserable brown eyes, while a tint of red from his wounded hand slowly left its mark on the ground of his closing heart.
“I’m sorry…” he whispered so vague and soft, before he closed the door to his room shut.
…
『いつか滅び行きこの体ならば蝕まれたいあなたの愛で』
If my body’s going to die one day, then I want it to rot from your love.
----
Ai’s Notes: This chapter is heavy for me. I went with the insight of the story. Vague on what they really did-more on thoughts underneath. I don’t even know if I did give it justice? But I did try to lighten it up with Yutti. I hope it helped. I failed this one didn’t I? I’m very sorryNatsucchi. I am very sorry everyone. I really don’t know what happened in this chapter. But, but… my poor Yuri and Ryosuke.Also, I’m sorry this took so long, gomenasai.
Natsu's Notes: ohghad I love Aipyon! <3 lol this chapter is awesome! hohoho btw next chapter might come in late again since we're busy :P enjoy~~