I am a mother fucker
Yesterday my friend Tabitha and I went out to a place called nowhere. The name of it actually is nowhere. It's a party house in the country where my friends live that I met working at wal-mart. I usually go out there and party a lot but I am still recovering from ACL surgery so I was just going out to visit and smoke a few bowls.
The mom of the group was sitting on the couch next to me and I was bringing up past joking conversations about her telling me she was going to dress up in a nurses outfit and give me a sponge bath (word of advice: i don't care who you are i could fuck your mom). She laughed about it and I acted extremely serious and persistent about it. Not a minute went by and I wasn't like "Paula you fucking sexy yo" "Or are you wearing space pants because your ass is out of this world!" Throwing up thumbs up signs to see if she's down. Obviously I am kidding and would not go through with it, and she pulls up the "But you have a girlfriend!". Ok lets stop here for a minute. I am completely fucking aware that I have a girlfriend I am not retarded. Even if I was serious why would it even matter, they don't even like my girlfriend. They even talked about having an intervention for me to break up with her. And it's a fucking mom. Do mom's even count? I don't know. I don't care, and I'm not going to. But that really irritates me.
I haven't cheated on my current girlfriend but on my past girlfriends definitely. And I always fucking hated it when the bitch wanted it just as much as me and always stopped and was like, "you got a girlfriend!" SO FUCKING WHAT!! Thats for me to feel bad about and for you to suck my dick.
Ok back to the point. I just seem to bring out the worst in peoples mothers when I'm around. Not to mention when I am usually talking sexually to the moms the children are present. Call it disrespectful I call it you need to grow the fuck up and your mom needs dick too. I wouldn't care if a friend fucked my mom. In fact I wouldn't be surprised to find out. I know one was trying too, and my mom won't admit if he succeeded at it.
There is just something about a mom that I can't explain. They are just sexy in their own little way no matter how oldish they look. They know what they are missing out on from having kids. I mean they are the real deal sluts. Nobody's fucking them because most people don't like old ladys they go after like 12 year olds and shit... gross.. And they are not like a immature little teenager, they know what they want, and they will get it. I want someone like that, not someone that when I'm like "Will you touch it?" and they are like "Touch what." MY FUCKING PENIS!!! GOd damn girls my age fucking irritate me. I remember before I got with Tina I was always talking to girl and was like "Hey girl you want to do it?" and they were just always like "Do what?" all stupid like and shit knowing what I meant but just wanting me to say sex. If you are a girl and you do that. Please fucking hurt yourself. And I mean that. One of the main reasons I date Tina is because she is just like being with a mom.. except she is 19.. She still is 6 months older than me though.... she's not old enough to be my mom :(
If Tina and I break up it's mom fucking central. I am fucking everyones mom. Except for Tina's mom. Thats pretty hard core... umm... yeah I will totally pass on that. It totally would be like fucking a zombie skeleton. Gross....
The mom of the group was sitting on the couch next to me and I was bringing up past joking conversations about her telling me she was going to dress up in a nurses outfit and give me a sponge bath (word of advice: i don't care who you are i could fuck your mom). She laughed about it and I acted extremely serious and persistent about it. Not a minute went by and I wasn't like "Paula you fucking sexy yo" "Or are you wearing space pants because your ass is out of this world!" Throwing up thumbs up signs to see if she's down. Obviously I am kidding and would not go through with it, and she pulls up the "But you have a girlfriend!". Ok lets stop here for a minute. I am completely fucking aware that I have a girlfriend I am not retarded. Even if I was serious why would it even matter, they don't even like my girlfriend. They even talked about having an intervention for me to break up with her. And it's a fucking mom. Do mom's even count? I don't know. I don't care, and I'm not going to. But that really irritates me.
I haven't cheated on my current girlfriend but on my past girlfriends definitely. And I always fucking hated it when the bitch wanted it just as much as me and always stopped and was like, "you got a girlfriend!" SO FUCKING WHAT!! Thats for me to feel bad about and for you to suck my dick.
Ok back to the point. I just seem to bring out the worst in peoples mothers when I'm around. Not to mention when I am usually talking sexually to the moms the children are present. Call it disrespectful I call it you need to grow the fuck up and your mom needs dick too. I wouldn't care if a friend fucked my mom. In fact I wouldn't be surprised to find out. I know one was trying too, and my mom won't admit if he succeeded at it.
There is just something about a mom that I can't explain. They are just sexy in their own little way no matter how oldish they look. They know what they are missing out on from having kids. I mean they are the real deal sluts. Nobody's fucking them because most people don't like old ladys they go after like 12 year olds and shit... gross.. And they are not like a immature little teenager, they know what they want, and they will get it. I want someone like that, not someone that when I'm like "Will you touch it?" and they are like "Touch what." MY FUCKING PENIS!!! GOd damn girls my age fucking irritate me. I remember before I got with Tina I was always talking to girl and was like "Hey girl you want to do it?" and they were just always like "Do what?" all stupid like and shit knowing what I meant but just wanting me to say sex. If you are a girl and you do that. Please fucking hurt yourself. And I mean that. One of the main reasons I date Tina is because she is just like being with a mom.. except she is 19.. She still is 6 months older than me though.... she's not old enough to be my mom :(
If Tina and I break up it's mom fucking central. I am fucking everyones mom. Except for Tina's mom. Thats pretty hard core... umm... yeah I will totally pass on that. It totally would be like fucking a zombie skeleton. Gross....