(no subject)
Sorry that I haven't updated in a while, but it's because my computer basicly..got fucked up.
Anyways, school is fucked up, I hate it so much. I'm really starting to think the only reason people are like nice to me because they think they have to. I am so sick of it. Why the hell does everyone have to be so fucking fake all the time? I do not understand...at all. It's like no one ever says anything mean to me anymore and everyones like...nice to me. But you can completely tell theyr just being sarcastic or..I just..I really don't know anymore. Well, actually, people are mean to me. Silly me, how could I forget. The guys. Yes, but of course. Everytime someone says anything about music and I say ANYTHING...all you see and hear is all the guys doing the "rock on" sign with their hands and chanting "yeah avril! hardcore! avril rocks!". I fucking hate them. The only ones who don't do is....Peter ,Matt, and Hayden...I think. WHo knows. I just cannot stand it anymore. Why the fuck does everyone think theyr so much better than me? Well they probly are but theyr all just so fucking into themselves and upsessed with anything expensive..and showing off their expensive brands at school like their little burberry scarves and bringing their cell phones to school thinking that theyr just so fucking cool because their mummys and daddys got them a gift for being so damn perfect. Maybe that's why I don't have one...hmm...
Enough with that.. I guess the real reason I wanted to write is because things really haven't been going good like at all for me lately. I'm not like depressed (though many people probly think I am....), it's just that nothing ever gets better. I need someone so fucking bad.... you seriously have no idea. That's all I need. Someone who actually cares for me like that....I can't even imagine how good that would make me feel. But that's just the thing...that isn't going to happen. The only thing guys ever want is a hot, thin, easy girl. Which as we all know is the exact opposite from me. If you know me, your aware that I'm not like monster ugly but I'm ugly, I'm overweight (not obiese...but fat), and I am NOT easy. If you reeally know me then you know I am against the following: 1. having sex before your married 2. doing..just plain WRONG things with the opposite or the same sex (you get what I mean)
I know you probly think I'm a prude, nieve, idiot, but honestly...I do not give a shit what you think. :) . So fuck you if you think that.
I'm extremely bored....and I really don't want to keep writing because I might put something I'd regret putting in....so I'm just going to stop myself before I do..
Comment if you want. It's nice to hear what people think...sometimes