where is this going?

Oct 30, 2007 11:21

quiksilver called me back and said that it would be too complicated to hire me, without a visa already. so i said au revoir to the fleeting notion of living in the basque country, next to the surf capital of france, sun and sea...boo. oddly enough i was excited about the idea and thought that if they were really interested, pourquoi pas? i still haven't signed a contract at Y&R soo i'm technically free to do so. which brings me to the next point..what's going on there? i feel like i should have atleast been called in to get the paperwork started, but maybe they have already done so without my knowing. it's nice that i don't have to do the dirty work, but i'd at least like to know the status of the situation.

since i've gotten back from new york and our little getaway to biarritz, i haven't seen anyone or done anything outside my 'couple life'. probably because i get to spend 24 hours with david every other day, and the odd days i wake up late, lounge around in bed with my computer, and then make my way back home to go shopping or running. it's very simple.

in the past few weeks i went shopping for shoes, but haven't really gotten anything because my taste is above my means, as usual. i consistantly look at shoes in the 200-400+ range as if this were normal. and i can't get it in my head that i will have a paycheck soon enough because who knows how long that will take! anyway, yesterday at galleries lafayette i fell in love with some patent castaner wedges but they were all out of my size. probably for the best cause i spend way too much money in may on those robert clergerie patent shoes and i can still wear them into the winter. so i should just calm down. i bought a pair of really wideleg pants earlier this month in a tweedish material at maje thinking that they were the best i could find in this style. that was until yesterday when i came across the designer clara collins. i would have come back to buy a pair since they were super unique and felt really good, but they were even more expensive than the maje pants and the only way i could afford it without feeling guilty would be if i returned the others. unfortunately i already took off the ticket and thus can't return it. i'm now looking at a few pairs of ebay france for a fraction of the cost, so maybe i can still have both without breaking the bank! i also bought a pair of really high-waisted black pants with cute pleating from zara. i wasn't exactly thrilled about buying clothes from zara cause i think that some things are overpriced for it being a trendy chain brand, but i was pleasantly surprised at how the size 36 fit me so well. plus. i knew that i wouldn't find something like that for much cheaper, and i need some things like that for work. i'm very excited to wear them. and this was after last week when i bought a super long gray dress and a cute egg-shape/bubble skirt that could pass for marni. unfortunately the skirt is a bit small and rides up pretty high if i'm not careful. more reason to stop eating david's stupid cookies that are overflowing from his cabinets. living next to him takes a lot of will power in that sense...

which brings me to the next topic-living with david. we've been together for almost 11 months, close to a year. we still have separate apartments but i'm over his practically more often than mine. the topic doesn't come up that often because i know david is respecting my opinion and feelings but i still think about it. the reasons why it hasn't happened are: unsure of the future of us, for a while i had cyclic feelings for david and didn't want to get myself into a situation that was hard to reverse. i guess i was protecting myself and just going with the flow. but now that things are more clear in my head and i am quite sure that he's a keeper, maybe this will change. second reason is the location. although it's equal distance to where i will work from either his or my apartment, the fact that it's not in paris makes me sooo hesistant. no one would ever come over, cause they'd think it's in the boondocks (then again, i never was too big about having people over my place anyway). it's only a 10 minute ride on the train to the center of paris, but still. when i'm there i feel totally removed from the city and just the notion of getting to the train makes me feel like it's such a feat. it's like the me taking the lirr to get to nyc, even though i live a lot farther away from the city than david does here in paris. but still. i have an apartment in the direct center of paris, and i've had it for 4 years. it's decorated and fixed up the way i wanted it. it's hard to give up such an important part of my life like that. i've always found comfort in the fact that i come home to a familiar place, conveniently located. when you move in with someone you give that up and if unfortunately it doesn't work out, well, you have to get yourself out there and find something again. soo not looking forward to that. i guess that's being very negative and not believing in the couple, but it would be careless to not think of the potential consequences. there are many positives for living with david that are starting to weigh out the negatives. one is the simple fact that his apartment is twice the size of mine, brand new, bright, etc. the only thing is that there is probably not enough closet space for my clothes, a serious problem. i'd also have to try to intergrate my style into the apartment because for the moment it's pretty bland. there is not much on the walls and there is no personality. i'd have to fix that up, but i could see that as more of a fun project than a tedious task. i could finally shop for house stuff, because at the moment i don't want to invest money in stuff for my apartment cause i feel like i might leave it soon--meaning i already have it in my head that we might live together. we get along really well, and i don't think we'd have a problem living together. i think it would be quite easy since we're both laid back and we rarely fight. he's very helpful around the house and i've never had to yell at him for sitting on the couch and not lifting a finger. it has to do with him being a firefighter and living at the firehouse where, if he doesn't help out, he'll be severly chastised. another good quality of david. then there is the purely financial aspect of living together. i would save a hell of a lot of money. a lot. like 1000 dollars work (700 euros-my rent). because his department subsidizes rent, he pays 0. i'm sure he'd ask me to contribute, which i absolutely would, in the form of food, other bills, and gas. but it would be sooo much cheaper for me. meaning that, if i pocket 1600 euros/month, instead of having like 400 euros after bills, food, and rent i'd have the double, even more. just making simple calculations in my head i'd probably be able to save like 200 euros a month easily and still have like 800 to fool around with. that is a shitload of money!!! if i stay in my apartment that 800 is like 200. a whole lot less! i know my parents are still willing to help out in the beginning cause they know that my salary isn't enormous but the idea is for me to be independent and be able to make it on my own. in any case, i could do that for a few months, give my landlady my 3 months notice and then get out of here. i guess this is how french girl are able to afford pretty clothes when they make squat. no wonder paris is the city of love and romance- people are obliged to find a partner to be financially stable. this is the reason why couples are so quick to move in together, something i've always been so surprised about and kindof hated. maybe it's because somewhere deep inside i'm still a bit of a freebird and i hate giving that part of me up.

today david and i are going to his parent's county house to put together some new furniture. before that i have to go to the drycleaner, the tailor, and the shoe repairman.

david, shopping, work

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