A compilation of emotions
This is my life. I'm angry, depressed, shocked, irritated and seeking a way out. A friendship is no longer sacred. Bounds are crossed and hearts are broken. I haven’t been happy in months. About eight to be exact. I desperately want to run away from all of this. I want so bad to move across the world. I don’t even know what to do anymore. There's no one to confide in. I should 'move on'. I 'should make new friends'. I don't want this advice from the normal people I talk to, but there's nothing else to do. What people tell me to do is never as easy as it sounds and no one's willing to stick around and help me out. Everyone's too far away or too busy with THEIR loved one. I know I need to move on, but who is there to move on to that makes me feel the same way? I'm very picky about girls and the only ones that are acceptable are either, 1) too young 2) live too far away 3) have a boyfriend 4) have no interest in me. I miss the days I could go out to a concert and have random girls come up to me to tell me I'm cute. I miss being in elementary school and not worrying about relationships. Call me a baby, a pansy, a girl... She's the only girl that has made me cry. I don't know if anyone who's bored enough to read this knows what true love is, but I do. This is the dilemma of my life; the need to move on but the unwillingness to. I know I need to and I know me staying where I am isn’t good for my health in any way but I love her and can't bring myself to put her behind me and find someone else. I'm becoming hopeless and depressing. In all honesty, I want to die. In my eyes it's the only release from the hell I've created myself. Call me stupid, tell me I'm an idiot, I will achieve what I set out to do or die trying.