dating
Its a chore. I find guys I like here and there and I'm talking to someone now that I think is cute...but truth be told I'm just enjoying the comfort of FRIENDSHIP...and it scare me to move past that...
He's got a lot of things to work out with his past and so have I so its just comforting to have a confidante..things may or may not grow past this. I've learned its important to be friends first.
All the other guys I've been interested in lately are about 3-5 years older then me but JESUS the maturity levels are lower. Maybe that's because I look really young and being that way has worked for younger ladies. I don't know.
Before the new friend came about I met someone whom I really liked and talked to off and on...I found though that every opportunity to invite me out was at 11 or 12 at night to go to his house. Everything being on his time and him expecting me to chase him. I never met up with him but the first time we met. When I asked him to actually make plans with me he told me "I don't like plans." Booty call much? Older then me...and I found to be the type to like to hook and then pull away, expecting me to bite and chase. Ummm no I've had this before..I'm your equal or you chase ME, I don't chase you. And I'd rather be alone then deal with that game and hurt forever. Anyhow, that fell through.
So dating has been what it has been. I lost someone I'd loved fuller then I had ever loved anyone though. I'm trying, but there's noone I'm ready to leap for or who has proven they deserve all I have to give...and I'm certainly not going to make the mistake of giving to someone who doesn't deserve me. Ill live alone w cats before that shit. Oh well society. Get the fuck over it. ;). I've learned that although J and I have a special and unique bond that noone in the future will ever be able to touch, we definitely aren't going to end up together. This used to torture me...but the truth is there are OTHER bonds and I'm guessing stronger bonds, I'm just still looking :)
He's got a lot of things to work out with his past and so have I so its just comforting to have a confidante..things may or may not grow past this. I've learned its important to be friends first.
All the other guys I've been interested in lately are about 3-5 years older then me but JESUS the maturity levels are lower. Maybe that's because I look really young and being that way has worked for younger ladies. I don't know.
Before the new friend came about I met someone whom I really liked and talked to off and on...I found though that every opportunity to invite me out was at 11 or 12 at night to go to his house. Everything being on his time and him expecting me to chase him. I never met up with him but the first time we met. When I asked him to actually make plans with me he told me "I don't like plans." Booty call much? Older then me...and I found to be the type to like to hook and then pull away, expecting me to bite and chase. Ummm no I've had this before..I'm your equal or you chase ME, I don't chase you. And I'd rather be alone then deal with that game and hurt forever. Anyhow, that fell through.
So dating has been what it has been. I lost someone I'd loved fuller then I had ever loved anyone though. I'm trying, but there's noone I'm ready to leap for or who has proven they deserve all I have to give...and I'm certainly not going to make the mistake of giving to someone who doesn't deserve me. Ill live alone w cats before that shit. Oh well society. Get the fuck over it. ;). I've learned that although J and I have a special and unique bond that noone in the future will ever be able to touch, we definitely aren't going to end up together. This used to torture me...but the truth is there are OTHER bonds and I'm guessing stronger bonds, I'm just still looking :)