this is the part of me that needs medication

[thecoldpart_]

its late. i cant sleep. i think me and dillon sort of broke up. that doesnt completely phase me, its not whats wrong. a boy came over tonight and brought me to a movie (boogeyman.) he was my valentine, although he didnt give me a gift. when we got back to my house nobody was home, so we hung out in my closet? (eating food) until glenn & emma came knocking on my door. they left 15 minutes later. i just remembered this was a friends only type thing so im just going to say it. this boy is a-friggen-mazing. hes cute and nice. those are the 2 words i like to describe him in. better than the "demanding and mean boy." but hes 19 and was so fucking paranoid about being at my house. my sister talked to him and found out he was 19 and he didnt want to like.. do anything at all. i called him a tease. i thought last night proved that wrong, but tonight abolished that thought. he is a tease. he called me a nerd for going to golden china with shawnalle for lunch today, then he called me his beautiful nerd girl. how do you say that about someone, then tell them "this isnt right, im scared" (of what?) "of you getting attached." IM not the one who said the cute things. im not the one who asked you to be my valentine. im not the one who went out of their way to get money and take me out to a movie. im not the one who kissed you. and im NOT the one who walked out of your house smiling like everything was alright, when i wasnt.

(happy birthday stephanie)