(no subject)
If you didn't hear, i'm declared eternaly grounded by my father. For once in my life i walk around my house looking like someone that has a serious problem. I was compared to my uncle who has had a serious drug problem.
yes. i was cought high in my own house. why return to my house with 7 people? i have no idea. the stupidest idea i had ever heard. There were so many other alternatives. But i think this was the best choice. God made all of us take this choice to get introuble and for us to stop this. Yes we say to ourselves, "oh its not a problem, oh yeah i could stop any time i want." Maybe thats what our brain wants us to think. because why should we keep doing this every weekend? cause its fun? think about it. we fucking hide in the woods and get high. theres no real fun in that. theres so much things we could of done than waste our time. so much more we could have experienced. Yes dan.. you were with me from the beginning. you said to me, "we don't need this. we can live without this." what happened.. It felt like afterwards i lost you in all this. I thought.. if there was someone there that felt the same way about this, i would probably stop.. I don't know. that might not be true either. I'm not blaming anyone. I just wish i never even encountered this. I regret everything. Don't do this. you have to stop. Everyone thats doing this. cause theres a slight chance you can get really really really fucked. Why put your beautiful life at risk so easily. Theres so much things that could be ahead of you. Don't just blow everything you have on some stupid fucking drug that could possibly lead to another drug and eventually you'll end up dying. I'm not saying don't try it. If you're in highschool you're gonna enjoy it eventually. I just realized why people in my school weren't as excited as I was about weed. Theres that bad side. The side where you realize there could be a problem here. Every weekend i've been doing it since this summer when i did it every day. I thought i could get all my school work done and all that stuff first, then go smoke. Nope. It doesn't work like that. My father didn't care. He was very concerned for me. I love him very much. He probably saved my life from being blown away from this stupid drug. I hope everyone from the WT and all my friends read this. I hope you guys believe me. If you're doing it, be cautious about it. i mean every weekend isn't very good. I didn't even notice it. Try to keep it to a minimum. Yesterday i got really really fucked up and it was obvious to everyone.
I am banned from:
leaving the house
my band (the circus)
my family trust
my social life.
me and matt were really the only ones that have this punishment. And once we're free, we will have to beg for trust. I wont be able to get my license for a very long time. I actually look in my parents eyes and there is no trust at all. Nothing. They love me, but they were disappointed by me. I actually thought last night of comitting suicide. I'm really glad that my friends are all fine and that they don't hate me for getting them introuble. Although i wonder if they would if they got really fucked over. Probably not. i hope.
I want to tell every one from WT, we had some good memories. please end it now. its over. please. end it. I love you all.
I want to tell the circus (which is part of the WT haha.)
i love you. and when we get back together again, i want to have super hard practices and be so fucking serious. like practicing almost every day unless we have other "plans" that don't have anything to do with drugs. is that a deal?
Think about it. No one succeeds from this. No one actually gets somewhere in life. And the people that do, have a huge handicap on themselves. Thats all it is. Its a handicap. It makes you lazier and stupider. Just face the facts. This is the most important year of our lives. what the fuck are we doing. I miss the old me. I miss everything i had already. My parents gave me so much. this is how i repay them. by being a fucking screw up.
this was a whole novel i wrote. haha.
I'm upset. but my heart is so bright knowing everyones alright.
i love you all.
-kev.
yes. i was cought high in my own house. why return to my house with 7 people? i have no idea. the stupidest idea i had ever heard. There were so many other alternatives. But i think this was the best choice. God made all of us take this choice to get introuble and for us to stop this. Yes we say to ourselves, "oh its not a problem, oh yeah i could stop any time i want." Maybe thats what our brain wants us to think. because why should we keep doing this every weekend? cause its fun? think about it. we fucking hide in the woods and get high. theres no real fun in that. theres so much things we could of done than waste our time. so much more we could have experienced. Yes dan.. you were with me from the beginning. you said to me, "we don't need this. we can live without this." what happened.. It felt like afterwards i lost you in all this. I thought.. if there was someone there that felt the same way about this, i would probably stop.. I don't know. that might not be true either. I'm not blaming anyone. I just wish i never even encountered this. I regret everything. Don't do this. you have to stop. Everyone thats doing this. cause theres a slight chance you can get really really really fucked. Why put your beautiful life at risk so easily. Theres so much things that could be ahead of you. Don't just blow everything you have on some stupid fucking drug that could possibly lead to another drug and eventually you'll end up dying. I'm not saying don't try it. If you're in highschool you're gonna enjoy it eventually. I just realized why people in my school weren't as excited as I was about weed. Theres that bad side. The side where you realize there could be a problem here. Every weekend i've been doing it since this summer when i did it every day. I thought i could get all my school work done and all that stuff first, then go smoke. Nope. It doesn't work like that. My father didn't care. He was very concerned for me. I love him very much. He probably saved my life from being blown away from this stupid drug. I hope everyone from the WT and all my friends read this. I hope you guys believe me. If you're doing it, be cautious about it. i mean every weekend isn't very good. I didn't even notice it. Try to keep it to a minimum. Yesterday i got really really fucked up and it was obvious to everyone.
I am banned from:
leaving the house
my band (the circus)
my family trust
my social life.
me and matt were really the only ones that have this punishment. And once we're free, we will have to beg for trust. I wont be able to get my license for a very long time. I actually look in my parents eyes and there is no trust at all. Nothing. They love me, but they were disappointed by me. I actually thought last night of comitting suicide. I'm really glad that my friends are all fine and that they don't hate me for getting them introuble. Although i wonder if they would if they got really fucked over. Probably not. i hope.
I want to tell every one from WT, we had some good memories. please end it now. its over. please. end it. I love you all.
I want to tell the circus (which is part of the WT haha.)
i love you. and when we get back together again, i want to have super hard practices and be so fucking serious. like practicing almost every day unless we have other "plans" that don't have anything to do with drugs. is that a deal?
Think about it. No one succeeds from this. No one actually gets somewhere in life. And the people that do, have a huge handicap on themselves. Thats all it is. Its a handicap. It makes you lazier and stupider. Just face the facts. This is the most important year of our lives. what the fuck are we doing. I miss the old me. I miss everything i had already. My parents gave me so much. this is how i repay them. by being a fucking screw up.
this was a whole novel i wrote. haha.
I'm upset. but my heart is so bright knowing everyones alright.
i love you all.
-kev.