(no subject)
i'm okay right now. i'm going out tonight to drink and dance and celebrate my good friend val's 23rd. but just this morning, these were my thoughts.
i scream. i scream outloud, at the top of my lungs while i'm on the freeway. the music gets to me. my life gets to me. and i let it out. i scream because no one is around. i scream because no one is around.
it's cold. i used to love the cold. not too long ago. but it's different now. it's a different cold.
the cold makes it harder to open my eyes. i keep them closed until it hurts. the darkness is around me. sometimes i wrap myself in it..
it's a fight. it's a constant struggle inside me. the voices are taking shape. hope and despair.....
one of my only weapons is my happy memories. friends can attest i was a different person. not too long ago.
i am so fucked up. n i'll take almost anything now. anyone. someone to be fucked up with me.
crazy thoughts crazy thoughts i repeat it's gonna be okay. you'll make it. it's gonna be okay. you're not hopeless. you're not hopeless. i am so lost. i am so lost. i am so lost. wha'ts the point? what's the point? what's the point of getting up? what's the point of going out? what's the point? what's the point?
and maybe you're reading this. and maybe you're not. and because i don't know whether you are or not, i don't consider this talking to you, so don't worry about it. i'm just talking out loud to air. because i'm tired of saying such pathetic things about myself to my friends. that's all i have to say to them these days. and they can't really hear. it's silent. it's silent.
very soon.... 24.
i scream. i scream outloud, at the top of my lungs while i'm on the freeway. the music gets to me. my life gets to me. and i let it out. i scream because no one is around. i scream because no one is around.
it's cold. i used to love the cold. not too long ago. but it's different now. it's a different cold.
the cold makes it harder to open my eyes. i keep them closed until it hurts. the darkness is around me. sometimes i wrap myself in it..
it's a fight. it's a constant struggle inside me. the voices are taking shape. hope and despair.....
one of my only weapons is my happy memories. friends can attest i was a different person. not too long ago.
i am so fucked up. n i'll take almost anything now. anyone. someone to be fucked up with me.
crazy thoughts crazy thoughts i repeat it's gonna be okay. you'll make it. it's gonna be okay. you're not hopeless. you're not hopeless. i am so lost. i am so lost. i am so lost. wha'ts the point? what's the point? what's the point of getting up? what's the point of going out? what's the point? what's the point?
and maybe you're reading this. and maybe you're not. and because i don't know whether you are or not, i don't consider this talking to you, so don't worry about it. i'm just talking out loud to air. because i'm tired of saying such pathetic things about myself to my friends. that's all i have to say to them these days. and they can't really hear. it's silent. it's silent.
very soon.... 24.