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I tried my username but this was way better:

How to make a Kerry
Ingredients:

3 parts success

3 parts brilliance

3 parts empathy
Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Serve with a slice of fitness and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Guess what I got for a late birthday gift!

My car stolen!

If you see a green 98 Honda Civic, TN license PGD 803, then beat the shit out of its driver at the nearest stoplight. Then call the cops. Thanks.

I've snapped a pencil, but I'm not satisfied.
This is it.
Earlier, a whoopee cushion was the funniest thing we had ever seen.
The classics will always survive.
I'd like to live close to a flat surface I could hurl empty bottles at.

Write me. I want something from you all. The Internet, it's a weird thing. It's like that bad band from the 90s you secretly love.

7 a.m. isn't always the time I ask myself, "did I dance on the bar at XYZ?"...or..."and did someone take pictures?"

But this 7 a.m. is. I quit Cats-- my last day was today. Yesterday? Either way.

I'm slowly adding people back. This may turn out only symbolic since I never use this anymore. But anyway...add me if you want to.