my perspective on your perspectivealmstfamous6September 28 2005, 21:50:45 UTC
wow...I don't really know what to say, I just felt compelled to comment. I guess I will start with this: The memory does not keep them alive but does the thought of a person who is alive and just gone feel any different. I have to disagree with you, or at least ask you to clarify what you meant when you said this. Because quite honestly, it is memory that keeps a person alive. Is it possible to forget a person when they leave a room? Absolutely, I have done it a million times. You go to a class and leave and then can't remember who you were talking to. Thus, in your mind any interaction you had with them does not exist. You cannot remember what they wore, what they said, how they felt, etc. You just know that there was a person there who you were talking to. But that hardly qualifies as remembering them. So in actuality, it is memory that keeps a person alive. I can tell you for a fact that I don't remember a thing about my grandfather, he died when I was 7 and I spent a lot of time with him, but when someone dies, maybe certain things trigger memories, but often you cannot remember what a person looks like, smells like, or talks like. And when that happens, that person no longer really exist to you. They are a faint memory, like remembering that in second grade you did a project on penguins. You don't remember very much about that project, and while you might have spent hours on it, years later it doesnt really mean very much to you. A person you can't remember, aside from in home videos and photo albums, doesn't really exist for you. Sad, yes, but maybe that's a good thing. Because the next thing I am about to argue is that there IS moving on. If nobody ever moved on they would spend the rest of their lives greiving and sad. And that is a waste of life. Someone who is always as sad as they were the day that person died is never going to achieve anything, and will in all liklihood commit suicide. You cannot live life so depressed. SO there has to be moving on. And depending on the person, forgetting the deceased may very well be a part of moving on. Sometimes it is in an unhealthy manner (blocking out the past) and sometimes it is just a natural progression. The more time that goes by, the more you forget. It is easy to forget things about a person you loved when you are not around them anymore. Things like their smell or the sound of their voice. It just fades away as you move on, meet new people, and recreate your life without that person. IT is suprisingly difficult to move on successfully without letting someone go. So, that is all I am going to say. And for all I know I could be agreeing with you and just reading your post wrong. But as I said before, I didn't know what to say, I just felt compelled to comment.
I have to disagree with you, or at least ask you to clarify what you meant when you said this. Because quite honestly, it is memory that keeps a person alive. Is it possible to forget a person when they leave a room? Absolutely, I have done it a million times. You go to a class and leave and then can't remember who you were talking to. Thus, in your mind any interaction you had with them does not exist. You cannot remember what they wore, what they said, how they felt, etc. You just know that there was a person there who you were talking to. But that hardly qualifies as remembering them. So in actuality, it is memory that keeps a person alive. I can tell you for a fact that I don't remember a thing about my grandfather, he died when I was 7 and I spent a lot of time with him, but when someone dies, maybe certain things trigger memories, but often you cannot remember what a person looks like, smells like, or talks like. And when that happens, that person no longer really exist to you. They are a faint memory, like remembering that in second grade you did a project on penguins. You don't remember very much about that project, and while you might have spent hours on it, years later it doesnt really mean very much to you. A person you can't remember, aside from in home videos and photo albums, doesn't really exist for you. Sad, yes, but maybe that's a good thing. Because the next thing I am about to argue is that there IS moving on. If nobody ever moved on they would spend the rest of their lives greiving and sad. And that is a waste of life. Someone who is always as sad as they were the day that person died is never going to achieve anything, and will in all liklihood commit suicide. You cannot live life so depressed. SO there has to be moving on. And depending on the person, forgetting the deceased may very well be a part of moving on. Sometimes it is in an unhealthy manner (blocking out the past) and sometimes it is just a natural progression. The more time that goes by, the more you forget. It is easy to forget things about a person you loved when you are not around them anymore. Things like their smell or the sound of their voice. It just fades away as you move on, meet new people, and recreate your life without that person. IT is suprisingly difficult to move on successfully without letting someone go. So, that is all I am going to say. And for all I know I could be agreeing with you and just reading your post wrong. But as I said before, I didn't know what to say, I just felt compelled to comment.
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