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I feel as if I'm a 50 year old stuck in a 19 year old's body.
I'd rather stay at home and watch a movie then go out and get drunk.
I'd rather have nachos and beer with a good friend/sister or 3 than go to a crowded party, get trashed, and not remember what I did the night before, or who I spoke to, or who I met.
I've only been legal for 8 ( Read more... )
On a campus where everyone is within 4 years of each other? All students? Not in the least normal.
This is normal. The new normal. The whole idea of being at university is to be on a campus where everyone is within 4 years of each other, at least the undergrads. In 3 years when you have to leave, it will have become normal to be on a campus where everyone's pretty much around the same age.
If this isn't "normal", then why are there so many damn university students at so many danm universities? Isn't it "normal" that after completing high school you go off to achieve some sort of higher education? And isn't it "normal" that other students are going to do the exact same thing, being within a year (age wise) of you, doing the same thing? And isn't it "normal" that these other students are going to be with a lot of other students their age at whichever university they choose?
If the rez experience wasnt so "normal" or so ingrained in the society that is university, then people wouldn't be so excited about it or take advantage of it like they did, do and will continue to do.
So, how is this not "normal" if it's what we're expected to do? Minus the 24 hr quiet floors that exist, it's "normal" for people our age in rez to go nuts with the drinking and the drugging and the sexing and the stealing and the littering... it's happened lots of places, not just in Ontario, but to my friends in the States at college (before she was shipped to Iraq).
The students who stay at home turn out differently than the students who are in rez. The students who stay at home are few and far between in most university cities minus Ottawa, Toronto and to an extent Western. Maybe Trent, I don't know... So, being the product of rez is "normal" for 8/10 university students who just happen to be my age.
Me, who is not a product of rez, therefore, am not "normal" in the university society sense. I won't ever live in rez with people my age with 30 on my floor and 800 in the building, so I am lacking that experience that is considered to be "normal" for 8/10 university students. Not so much in Ottawa, since this is a government town, nor not so much in Toronto, since that is a business town. Nevertheless, I am still lacking that sense of "normalcy" that comes with the rez experience. Therefore, I am out of the "norm".
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The rest of the world, and the rest of my life, is not/will not be like living in residence. The way life works in residence is not the way life works in the rest of the world. I always felt like it wasn't quite reality, though of course I was there. And it's only like that for one year, not four. I'm actually really hoping that next year, living in a house and out of rez, my life will be more normal. Because you do get sick of rez.
Look at the MAC grads you know. How many of them lived in rez this year? How many of them even went to university? A lot of them stayed at home for university, college, work, or more highschool. Yes, living in rez your first year is normal. It is not what most people who graduate highschool do.
Of course we go nuts, if you stick that many kids together living on their own (sort of) for the first time, the freedom gets to them. But then they learn to discipline themselves, which is difficult. Some don't learn, some don't need to. But it's not like living in rez is the only way to learn self discipline. It gives to a lot and you learn a lot, but these lessons are not exclusive to this one situation. Living in rez is normal, it is not a requirement for being normal.
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At york, people are of all ages. Yes, even undergrads. In many of my classes, there were many people with white hair (no, not people who dyed their hair white - I mean old people). I know someone who was 26 and starting her first year of school. There is no restriction that says people have to go to university right after high school, and that's the only time they're allowed to. Why do people take a year or two off in between high school and university?
The social aspect is not the "whole idea" of university.
The "whole idea" of university is to go somewhere to LEARN MORE THINGS.
Anyway, even if EVERYONE WHO GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL went to university, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE lived in residence, why on earth does that mean that they have to like all the things you listed? Going to university and living in res doesn't make people the same, and it doesn't make people like the same things. I have plenty of friends who live in residence and DON'T drink, and who don't even attend the pub nights. I'm sure they'd resent being called "abnormal" simply because of what you've seen at Queen's or maybe on some silly reality TV shows.
It's not "normal" for everyone who lives in residence to "go nuts with the drinking and the drugging and the sexing and the stealing and the littering". That's bullshit. Living in residence and being around our age doesn't make EVERYONE reckless and immature and messy. So what if it's happened in a lot of places? That doesn't make it normal. Some people do it, some people don't. I wouldn't call it NORMAL at all.
Just look at the people who have replied to you, for example. How many people have said "YEAH! PARTIES! YEAH! WOOOO LETZ GET DRUNKKKKKK!"
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would you call all of them abnormal?
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I didn't post this with the intent to say that everyone who reads this must be abnormal if they dont like the things I do or do the things I listed as "normal". I posted this because it is what I am feeling; out of some sort of big giant loop that I'm missing out on.
Apparently, concluding by the responses I've received, there is another big giant loop that I'm not missing out on, thus making me feel less freakish and more normal.
I didn't see college life on a silly reality show. I watch the news, and that's all. I actually DO have friends in the States not on LJ who tell me their stories and about their "norm".
It's great that people at York's undergrad program are of all ages. But I'm not at York. I'm at UO, and it's slightly different here. Your norm, Bernita's norm, Erin's norm, Louis' norm, Brian's norm, Krista's norm, everyone's norm who has posted here is different from each others and mine. What I see is not what any one else sees' but its nice to know that there are some similarities.
The people who have replied, unless they were being silly, wouldn't have replied LESTS DRUNKKES NE GITHE PRARTY. Because we're kinda similar, which is what I was looking for. Yay for not being a freak.
So I plead ignornace then. I didn't know that the norm for HERE in LJ is what I posted being "abnormal".
I'm sorry that I'm not as smart as everyone else here. Please forgive my ignornace.
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I also didn't mean to suggest that you watch reality TV, that was just the first thing that came to mind when I thought of "college life" or whatever you want to call it... I see those ads all the time. I know you're a smart girl.
You're not ignorant, I'm just a thoughtless bitch.
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I know that I shouldn't let what happened with Alistair affect me, but it's hard. I tried and tried to become a better person and a superb girlfriend, I did everything I could save SWITCHING to Queens (which I almost did, but didnt), but it wasn't enough. It just doesn't make sense to me. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm also not defective...
But then I realized something: I'm not exactly the right choice for a first girlfriend. You need shitty people before you can really appreciate the good ones. And Alistair stopped appreciating me completely some time in January. I know that if the whole mess with Matt had never happened, I wouldn't have appreciated Alistair as much as I did for the past 2.5 years and to an extent still do appreciate (the OLD and most likely DEAD) Alistair. Many of the old cliche's apply to this, like "you don't know what you have until it's gone" and "if you love someone let them go; if they come back they're yours, if they don't, they never were"...
When people are treated poorly for a while, they start to believe that it's their fault, that something is wrong with them, and yes, Alistair indeed treated me like crap since February. Slowly, but surely, I'm beginning to realize that although I'm not Ms. Perfect "LOOK AT ME WORSHIP ME IM BETTER THAN YOU", I'm also not crap. But it takes time, especially since you know how much I loved him.
You know that I am almost always looking for ways of self-improvement. I want to be more interesting and not just stay at home like I'm doing right now or just work/work out/do chemistry...
You know what reality show I was watching while waiting for online tutoring for CHEM? THE SWAN. It's kinda sick, but I couldnt look away....
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