prisoner of today.
caution: i'm kinda drunk.
what do i think about lately..
i guess it's nothing i thought it would be.
boy is with his ex. i don't even think about him much anymore. maybe it was just enough. maybe i finally gave up. maybe the hold he had on me finally let up. i don't know. whatever is going on, it's working. i'm almost relived. i'm almost happy. i mean the whole situation is just fucked up. it's just low, and mean.e but it's to the point where it's like, one night i'm upset, i can't sleep. then after that, i'm perfectly fine. it's alright. he's happy. that makes me happy.
i miss the idea of a boyfriend, and i miss some of the people i've dated. i still talk to my ex's sometimes, but i love it. it's not even because i need the attention, or that i just need to feel needed. it's just... i know that i actully ment something to someone, so much that they could still talk to me when i'm down even though we never see or saw eye to eye on things. or even.. we can just talk and catch up, i know anything i say i won't be judged. i love having someone to be able to talk to any time of day or night knowing they're there for me and they always will be. and at the same time i know my friends are, but they can only listen to my life storys and shit so much before it gets old. i can just get differant perspectives i guess.
i should probably sleep, because idk what i just said about anything or anyone.
G'NIGHT.
what do i think about lately..
i guess it's nothing i thought it would be.
boy is with his ex. i don't even think about him much anymore. maybe it was just enough. maybe i finally gave up. maybe the hold he had on me finally let up. i don't know. whatever is going on, it's working. i'm almost relived. i'm almost happy. i mean the whole situation is just fucked up. it's just low, and mean.e but it's to the point where it's like, one night i'm upset, i can't sleep. then after that, i'm perfectly fine. it's alright. he's happy. that makes me happy.
i miss the idea of a boyfriend, and i miss some of the people i've dated. i still talk to my ex's sometimes, but i love it. it's not even because i need the attention, or that i just need to feel needed. it's just... i know that i actully ment something to someone, so much that they could still talk to me when i'm down even though we never see or saw eye to eye on things. or even.. we can just talk and catch up, i know anything i say i won't be judged. i love having someone to be able to talk to any time of day or night knowing they're there for me and they always will be. and at the same time i know my friends are, but they can only listen to my life storys and shit so much before it gets old. i can just get differant perspectives i guess.
i should probably sleep, because idk what i just said about anything or anyone.
G'NIGHT.