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so its quarter till one in the fucking morning, and after inadvertently fucking shit up for my friends becuase i don't know waht the fuck i want, i try and get some sleep to just forget about it and i can't fucking clear my mind enough to sleep now. this is after sitting around for a fucking half hour trying to find something interesting to do
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i didn't "just decide to care". i always did. you definately did not make an ass out of yourself. if anything i did. i dunno about what he thinks, i'm just speaking for myself. i was so embarrassed and i felt so dumb. i am fucking selfish. i think i always have been. or maybe i know what i want and i am just scared or not ready...i dunno. i was so wrong and hurtful and i'm so very sorry
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