(no subject)
So let's face it this was never what you wanted. But I know it's fun to pretend. Now blank stares and empty threats are all I have. So drown me if you can. Or we could just have conversation. I fall, I falter. I found you before I drifted away. Now you still speak of day old hate. Though your whole world has gone up in flames. And isn't it great to find that your really worth nothing. And how safe it is to feel safe. The things we do just to stay alive. The things we do just to keep ourselves alive.
A long time ago my mother told me as far as she knows loving was only for those who love themselves. And it ain't for no one else. And you've got to hold inside a certain amount of pride. A long way from home it seems I've forgotten all that I was told and the heartache is starting. And those who love themselves aren't slaves to know one else and they don't have to compromise and they don't have to cover their eyes. It seems I'm trapped I can't break free. Without you who would I be? I've branded myself powerless. Is my need my cowardice. She's got bruises but she'll wear them for love. He's got disease but he'll bare it for love. Don't know what cupid was thinking of. so many of us just slaves for love. A long train of fools and I'm in there somewhere. Cause love ain't got no rules and somehow I still care. But those who love themselves even more than i love myself. And though you bring me pain and sorrow I'll still be here tomorrow.
How many times do I have to try and tell you that I'm sorry for the things I've done? But when I start to try and tell you, that's when you have to tell me, "hey this kind of trouble has only just begun". I tell myself too many times "why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut"? That's why it hurts to bad to hear the words that keep on falling from your mouth. I may be mad, I may be blind, I may be viciously unkind, but I can still read what your thinking. And I've heard it said too many times that you'd be better of, besides, why can't you see that this boat is sinking. Let's go down to the waters edge and we can cast away those doubts. Some things are better left unsaid, but they still turn me inside out. This is the book I never read. These are the words I never said. This is the path I'll never tread. These are the dreams I'll dream instead. This is the joy that's seldom spread. These are the tears we shed. This is the fear. This is the dread. These are the contents of my head. And these are the years that we've spent and this is what we represent. This is what I feel. Do you know how I feel. Because I don't think you know.
I think you can do much better than me. After all of the lies that I made you believe. Guilt kicks in and I start to see the edge of the bed where your nightgown used to be. I told myself that I won't miss you. But I remembered what it feels like besides you. I really miss your hair in my face and the way that your innocence tastes and I think you should know this, you deserve much better than me. While looking through your old box of notes I found those pictures I took that your were looking for. If there's one memory that I don't want to lose. That time at the mall, you and me in the dressing room. The bed I'm lying in is getting colder. Wish I never would have said it's over. And i can't pretend that I won't think about you when I'm older. Cause we never really had our closure. This can't be the end. And I think that you know this... you deserve much better than me....
A long time ago my mother told me as far as she knows loving was only for those who love themselves. And it ain't for no one else. And you've got to hold inside a certain amount of pride. A long way from home it seems I've forgotten all that I was told and the heartache is starting. And those who love themselves aren't slaves to know one else and they don't have to compromise and they don't have to cover their eyes. It seems I'm trapped I can't break free. Without you who would I be? I've branded myself powerless. Is my need my cowardice. She's got bruises but she'll wear them for love. He's got disease but he'll bare it for love. Don't know what cupid was thinking of. so many of us just slaves for love. A long train of fools and I'm in there somewhere. Cause love ain't got no rules and somehow I still care. But those who love themselves even more than i love myself. And though you bring me pain and sorrow I'll still be here tomorrow.
How many times do I have to try and tell you that I'm sorry for the things I've done? But when I start to try and tell you, that's when you have to tell me, "hey this kind of trouble has only just begun". I tell myself too many times "why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut"? That's why it hurts to bad to hear the words that keep on falling from your mouth. I may be mad, I may be blind, I may be viciously unkind, but I can still read what your thinking. And I've heard it said too many times that you'd be better of, besides, why can't you see that this boat is sinking. Let's go down to the waters edge and we can cast away those doubts. Some things are better left unsaid, but they still turn me inside out. This is the book I never read. These are the words I never said. This is the path I'll never tread. These are the dreams I'll dream instead. This is the joy that's seldom spread. These are the tears we shed. This is the fear. This is the dread. These are the contents of my head. And these are the years that we've spent and this is what we represent. This is what I feel. Do you know how I feel. Because I don't think you know.
I think you can do much better than me. After all of the lies that I made you believe. Guilt kicks in and I start to see the edge of the bed where your nightgown used to be. I told myself that I won't miss you. But I remembered what it feels like besides you. I really miss your hair in my face and the way that your innocence tastes and I think you should know this, you deserve much better than me. While looking through your old box of notes I found those pictures I took that your were looking for. If there's one memory that I don't want to lose. That time at the mall, you and me in the dressing room. The bed I'm lying in is getting colder. Wish I never would have said it's over. And i can't pretend that I won't think about you when I'm older. Cause we never really had our closure. This can't be the end. And I think that you know this... you deserve much better than me....