Depression is a bitch, part 2
I received some very good advice yesterday about depression. It's advice that I am going to hold onto and try to remember any time that I am feeling down. Letting go of things, and moving on is a struggle and each step is like moving through quick sand. But if life wasn't a struggle then it wouldn't be worth living. Good things will come of this struggle and if I can't believe in that then I really don't think I cold take that first step forward.
In the past I've made grandiose promises to myself and maybe that's one of the reasons I fall into these traps, they are promises I cannot keep and when I fail I come down on myself so hard I am in emotional pain for weeks. So I won't be making any sweeping promises, but I will say this. I won't give up. I won't ever give up and I won't ever give in. I will allow myself to stumble and fall, but I will get back up. I will let myself cry, but then I will clean up my face and find a smile. I will forgive those that have wronged me, but I will not let them pin me down. I will try my hardest to let go of things that truly have no impact on my life.
It seems like a lot, but what I'm trying to say deep down is I won't forget what it means to be happy.
I want to achieve things in my life and I want to conquer this sadness. I'm not sure how I am going to do that, but I know first I am going to really push for the weight loss. It is truly that important to me.
So far, I went down to 237 then back up over the weekend because I can't control my eating habits. I wish I could just say no I'm full I don't need any more! Or I could just fill up on vegetables. I should try harder. The gym has become a haven for me. I am just practicing cardio, but at least I am moving. I occasionally find myself wishing I was one of those people that forgets to eat or can eat one meal a day and are complete satisfied and drop weight in a blink of an eye. I wish I was a person that cutting out soda or sweets or bread caused massive weight loss. And I really wish I had never let things get as bad as they are right now. But genies aren't real and wishing isn't going to do shit.
All I can do is move forward. Until next time....and thank you for listening.
In the past I've made grandiose promises to myself and maybe that's one of the reasons I fall into these traps, they are promises I cannot keep and when I fail I come down on myself so hard I am in emotional pain for weeks. So I won't be making any sweeping promises, but I will say this. I won't give up. I won't ever give up and I won't ever give in. I will allow myself to stumble and fall, but I will get back up. I will let myself cry, but then I will clean up my face and find a smile. I will forgive those that have wronged me, but I will not let them pin me down. I will try my hardest to let go of things that truly have no impact on my life.
It seems like a lot, but what I'm trying to say deep down is I won't forget what it means to be happy.
I want to achieve things in my life and I want to conquer this sadness. I'm not sure how I am going to do that, but I know first I am going to really push for the weight loss. It is truly that important to me.
So far, I went down to 237 then back up over the weekend because I can't control my eating habits. I wish I could just say no I'm full I don't need any more! Or I could just fill up on vegetables. I should try harder. The gym has become a haven for me. I am just practicing cardio, but at least I am moving. I occasionally find myself wishing I was one of those people that forgets to eat or can eat one meal a day and are complete satisfied and drop weight in a blink of an eye. I wish I was a person that cutting out soda or sweets or bread caused massive weight loss. And I really wish I had never let things get as bad as they are right now. But genies aren't real and wishing isn't going to do shit.
All I can do is move forward. Until next time....and thank you for listening.