Happiness is being content with what God provides you with
Okay, let me start by apologising for all the depressing posts before. I was really down to the dumps, and nothing anyone said could pull me out of the black pit I allowed myself to drown into.
No one but God.
Last night, I lay on bed, and I started singing "Because He lives".
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, all fear is gone.
And now I know, He holds tomorrow.
Life is so much more worthwile because He lives.
(I changed the lyrics a little because I forgot what the original one was)
And I felt tears running down my cheeks. I sobbed, literally cried my heart out to Jesus. I kneeled, and hid my face because I felt SO ashamed. I kept saying "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." over and over again. I felt like the lost son coming back home to his father. In my guilt, I felt like Jesus welcomed me back with an embrace, an embrace that says, "I've been waiting for you to come on home."
At the same time, I felt undeserving, unworthy, and so helpless. But I know I'm forgiven. I know I'm loved. I know I'm saved.
Then there was peace. This feeling of peace, knowing that because He lives, there's nothing to fear. Knowing that He is always faithful and He will never forsake you, no matter how many times you turned your back on Him. No matter how small or lousy you feel about yourself, He's there to help you see your true worth through His eyes. This is how much He loves you and me.
My friends, if you ever felt like I did, if you felt so dried up, drifted so far away from God, here's what you can do. Start praying. Come clean with God because, well, because God is God and He knows. You can't hide from Him. Let Him touch your heart once again, and let the Holy Spirit work within you. Stop being prideful and self-righteous. You know you can't make it without Him.