De-Aging Hogwarts Professor ch3
The third and final chapter, thus far, of the horrid truth or dare fic, the worst chapter by far, if you ask me.
The fic features: terrible grammar, as usual, rampant molestation, drinking, OOC-ness, and rape. I'm pretty certain that the author is oblivious to the fact that the scenarios she wrote are considered rape and molestation.
The MST features: Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Remus Lupin, and Albus Dumbledore. All listed definitions are from dictionary.com.
Enjoy!
Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape, and Remus Lupin enter Dumbledore’s office.
Dumbledore: Good evening, all, let’s get started.
McGonagall: You mean you don’t have prior engagements today, Albus?
Snape: I doubt he ever did.
Dumbledore: I have decided to complete your punishment with you, today, out of curiosity.
Snape: I happen to be curious about many poisons, however, I do not test them on myself.
McGonagall: That’s what the students are for.
Snape: Precisely.
Lupin: What am I being punished for?
Snape: *begins to speak, but is interrupted*
McGonagall: Don’t start, Severus.
Thanks for all the reviews so far
Snape: You’re welcome.
Dumbledore: How nice of you to offer a constructive review of this young authors’ work, Severus. I must say I’m shocked at your kindness.
Snape: *sarcastically* Slogging through this dreck with Minerva has reformed me.
McGonagall: *suppresses a smile*
Lupin: I have trouble believing your review was kind…
I hope you enjoy this chapter.
McGonagall: I doubt it.
Dumbledore: Don’t be so pessimistic, Minerva. Perhaps, the author has improved.
McGonagall: And perhaps, Severus will begin skipping through the halls singing Christmas carols.
oh yeah I am sorry
Snape: That you updated? Don’t worry, we are too.
Lupin: Come now, Severus, there’s no need to be unkind.
Snape: Unless, of course, you’re James Potter, then you can be as unkind as you would like, isn’t that right, Lupin?
McGonagall: You just had to put these two in a room together, didn’t you, Albus?
Dumbledore: It’s a bonding exercise, if you recall.
Snape: I refuse to bond with a hypocritical werewolf.
McGonagall: One more word out of you, Severus, and you will spend your Saturday in detention.
Snape: That threat is ineffective as I am no longer a student, Minerva.
McGonagall: You will find that my power reaches far and wide and I can put you in detention regardless of you standing as a colleague.
it has taken me so long to update I’ve had some stuff going on
Poppy glared back and hooch why didn’t I behave less suspiciously
Lupin: I’m confused, is the author asking a bottle of liquor why they didn’t behave less suspiciously?
Dumbledore: Perhaps Poppy is thinking this as she is glaring at Madame Hooch?
Snape: You give the author way too much credit, Dumbledore.
…I am gonna kill hooch
McGonagall: No liquor jokes, Severus?
Snape: I grow weary of this author’s inability to capitalize pronouns.
…wait I only remember seeing McGonagall
Dumbledore: Minerva’s name appears to be capitalized, Severus. You really ought to try to be more optimistic.
Snape: *sarcastically* Nothing pleases me more than the stupidity of this fanfiction and the muggle who wrote it.
McGonagall: *suppresses a smile*
Dumbledore: That’s the spirit.
so this must be her idea oh I am going to get revenge for this.
Snape: No, dear author, it is I who will be getting revenge.
She lifted her head and looked hooch in the eyes “well sticky beak
Lupin: …Is that supposed to be insulting?
McGonagall: I don’t recall Rolanda having a sticky beak.
I go and see alastor
Lupin: Surely that can’t be Moody because his name isn’t capitalized.
McGonagall: By forgoing the capitalization of Alastor’s name it appears the author has misspelled alabaster, which wouldn’t make sense in the context.
Snape: I have long given up on deciphering the author’s atrocious grammar. I have better things to do with my time.
McGonagall: Like traumatize and mock the entire student population and brood in the dungeons.
and if u must know
Lupin: I really don’t think there is anything that the letter “U” must know.
we have been seeing eachother since the end of last year”
McGonagall: I really don’t think Alastor and Poppy would ever court.
the room burst out in laughter
Lupin: Because we have all regressed in age.
making poppy look even redder.
Snape: Poppy plants tend to be more purple than red.
lupin was clutching his sides gasping for breath.
Snape: *is hopeful* Is he dying? I would be more than happy to facilitate the process. There shall be little time for gasping if one uses Cyanide.
Dumbledore: I think you’ll find life more enjoyable if you try to be nicer to people, Severus. Perhaps, you might develop a friendship.
McGonagall: And Bellatrix Lestrange might develop some semblance of sanity.
“well I never new you would fall for a beaten down psycho”
Dumbledore: I suppose I could see why Alastor would be considered psychotic.
McGonagall: Let me reiterate, Bellatrix Lestrange is psychotic, Alastor is unorthodox. You’re in denial, Albus. This fic is stupid. Admit it and move on.
lupin finally managed to splutter out only getting a kick in the sins
Snape: Is that a new form of religious repentance?
McGonagall: *as a sinner* Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
Lupin: *as a preacher* Once I kick the sins out of you, you will be forgiven.
as a result
“well lupin seaming
Lupin: A seam is where articles of clothing have been stitched together. To seem is to appear a certain way. They are two different words.
that you are so kind you can go next. Truth or dare?”
lupin stoped
Snape: I still have no idea what that word means.
Dumbledore: Well, it could be a slang term of some sort. Perhaps it is a combination of stove pipe, meaning you hit someone with a stove pipe? Like to Pwn is to personally own?
Snape, McGonagall, and Lupin: *are perplexed at the use of muggle slang*
Dumbledore: Muggles are fascinating. We really ought to keep more in touch with their world. They did design socks, afterall, and fuzzy one’s at that!
McGonagall: *facepalm*
Snape: The meaning from the dictionary.com, a much more reliable source than muggle adolescents, is first, as a noun, “any excavation made in a mine, esp. from a steeply inclined vein, to remove the ore that has been rendered accessible by the shafts and drifts,” and second, as a verb, “to mine or work by stopes.”
laughing
Lupin: So I was mining laughter via excavations made in hills?
McGonagall: That is an interesting hobby.
and took another swig of the drink in front of him before answering.
Snape: We do not all drink and the vast majority of us do not do so excessively. I for one prefer to keep my mind unhindered by ethanol.
“I chose truth” poppy giggled “ok what teacher did you have a crush on at school and did u try and pursue it”
McGonagall: Teacher/Student relationships are sick and against the rules.
lupin smiled as he spoke. “I had a crush on professor pankingsen
Snape: Your problems run deeper than your lycanthropy and hypocrisy. It appears you are also delusional, Lupin.
Lupin: It has been over twenty years since we finished school. I think we should leave the school-yard grudges behind, Severus.
Snape: *sneers*
McGonagall: This is why you don’t have friends.
Snape: Really, Minerva? You and I often socialize in a non-professional setting and interact in ways that can be construed as friendly. Thus I have, at least one friend by societal definitions. Therefore, if you are my friend and I am, to quote the students, “an evil git,” what does that make you?
Dumbledore: Severus does have a point, Minerva.
and yes I did try and pursue it”
Dumbledore: Oh my, that is quite disturbing.
McGonagall: That is sick and twisted. STUDENTS AND TEACHERS CAN NOT HAVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER!
there where shocked expressions from everyone in the room. “Remus what exactly did you mean by tried to pursue it?” severus had a puzzled
Snape: The correct term is “disgusted.”
look on his face. Remus shrugged downed the rest of his drink and mumbled
McGonagall: Accio commas!
“I got into her chambers one night and tried to well you know
All: #&@^%$&**@&&^^%%&@^#!!!!!!!!!!
and well she woke up
All: $^#*$^$^$&**#&^@@*#((*&^^&&^*!!!!!
Lupin: I tried to rape a teacher.
Snape: Without drugs. Rape is stupid and disgusting to begin with, but seriously?
McGonagall: I’m pretty certain that would wake someone up in a hurry.
and started screaming at me”
Lupin: No shit, fic!me.
McGonagall: I, personally, would’ve crucioed fic!you’s ass to insanity.
severus was the first to burst into laughter.
Snape: Rape is not something I find even remotely amusing. I intend to crucio this author’s ass to insanity.
When all had calmed down Remus looked at severus
Lupin: Why the hell can’t she capitalize all the names in one sentence? She obviously knows how. Her shift key is obviously working.
and asked truth or dare and being a slytherin he of course weighed the odds
McGonagall: *is insulted* Only Slytherins think before they act?
Snape: Gryffindors sure as hell don’t.
and chose truth. “ok Sev is it true that lockart kissed you?”
McGonagall: I knew that was the reason for your incessant torment of Gilderoy.
Snape: I dare him to even attempt such an act. I’d start using the spells I learned from the Dark Lord.
there where many muffled giggles before a very pale Snape chose to take off his shirt.
Snape: I am not gay and if I were I would not be attracted to Lockhart!
McGonagall: Well it would certainly explain why you have never had a girlfriend.
Snape: You’ve had a dry spell spanning the last fifty years. What’s your excuse?
Lupin: This is a rather awkward topic, could we, perhaps, finish the story?
“well severus you defiantly
Lupin: To be defiant means to disobey or to break rules. That does not work in this context.
cant
McGonagall: -use an apostrophe.
Lupin: Or capitalize pronouns
Snape: Or write in general.
play this game very well?”
McGonagall: Or, apparently, use a question mark.
Flitwit
Snape: -apparently Flitwick has another incredibly obvious alias.
Pipped
Lupin: Another improperly used verb.
Snape: According to dictionary.com the definitions of “pipped are as follows:
1. to peep or chirp.
2. to break out from the shell.
3. to blackball.
4. to defeat
5. to wound or kill with a bullet.
McGonagall: So “Flitwit” was spontaneously transfigured into a baby chicken-
Lupin: -or attempting to hatch-
Snape: -or blackballing me-
Dumbledore: -or defeating Severus-
Snape: -not a possibility-
McGonagall: -or trying to shoot Severus.
Lupin: So we really don’t have any idea what “Flitwit” is doing.
Snape: Thanks to the authors abysmal abuse of the English language.
in causing him to be the next target where he was made to do a version of umbrage angry.
Dumbledore: How would making a mockery of Umbridge humiliate Flitwick? I thought that was the goal of this muggle game?
Lupin: He’s not imitating Delores Umbridge. He’s imitating an angry umbrage.
Snape: Which, dictionary.com tells us is:
1. offense, annoyance, displeasure
2. a vague feeling of suspicion, doubt, or hostility
3. tree-leaves that offer shade
4. a shadowy appearance or semblance of something
McGonagall: The first definition definitely applies to Delores and could be associated with anger. I suppose you could imitate an “angry feeling of offense, annoyance, or displeasure.”
Lupin: The second definition could also be associated with anger and is feasible to imitate.
Snape: According to the third definition “Flitwit” is imitating angry foliage, which is stupid.
Dumbledore: According to the fourth definition Filius is imitating a semblance of anger.
McGonagall: The author’s English teacher should still be fired.
These silly dares went on for a while until McGonagall and hooch spiked the drinks.
All: *are astonished*
Lupin: Is that-
McGonagall: Could it be-
Snape: How is that possible?
Dumbledore: A correct sentence?
Poppy was the first to become a victim of this causing her to now be sitting very angry looking and out for blood
McGonagall: Oh that was intelligent of me. Let’s spike the drinks and send everyone on a murderous rampage. What fun!
Snape: This fic is very close to sending me on a murderous rampage.
and severus big mouth got him in her line of fire.
Lupin: I wouldn’t really classify Severus as a big-mouth. A sarcastic git, yes, but a big-mouth, no.
“ok severus you seam
McGonagall: SEEMS!
very amused about this so your turn truth or dare?” severus grinned
Snape: I do not grin. I sneer.
McGonagall: Or scowl.
Dumbledore: Or glare.
a little
Dumbledore: How does one grin “a little”?
before answering
“I chose dare as truth doesn’t seam
All: SEEM!! Not “Seam”, SEEM!
safe at the moment”
Snape: And dare is safer. Fic!me’s logic is very faulty.
poppy’s eyes shone and she cleared her throat before moving over to whisper in his ear. “I dare you to go up to Rolanda slip your hand up her skirt and kiss her on the lips for at least a minute
Snape: And I dare you, fic!Poppy, to dive off the astronomy tower.
…oh and make it good or it will be for 2 minutes” severus turned white as a sheet “what's the matter sev cant do it…well then I think that means your boxer come off” everyone except hooch and McGonagall was looking at him. “no I’ll
Snape: -push you off the astronomy tower instead.
do your dare”
with that Snape leaped up and crawled on all fours
Lupin: For what reason?
McGonagall: Was that fic!you’s pathetic attempt to be stealthy?
over to hooch who had turned her head towards him.
Dumbledore: Fic!you isn’t going to ask for Rolanda’s consent?
Lupin: Nonconsensual sexual activity SEEMS to be rampant in this book.
Her face showed shock and her eyes where wide as his cold, slender hands crawled under her skirt and up her legs,
McGonagall: Uncharted territory, aye Severus?
Snape: One more word and you’ll be following dear fic!Poppy off the astronomy tower.
while his mouth descended on her own.
McGonagall: You might want to have Poppy examine that descending mouth of yours, Severus. I imagine that could be quite problematic.
She was in complete shock and obeyed him when his tongue demanded entrance
into her mouth. His tongue explored her mouth as his hands explored under her skirt.
McGonagall: -trying to figure out what exactly was there.
Snape: I do have a knowledge of basic human anatomy, Minerva.
His hands crawled on the outside of her legs then moved to crease her inner thighs and more then once his hands brushed up against her vagina,
Snape: *headdesk, repeatedly*
McGonagall, Lupin, and Dumbledore: 0_0
it sent shivers all over her body and then all of the sudden he pulled away.
Snape: *looks ill*
McGonagall: Hang in there, Severus, it’s almost over.
It took several minutes for hooch to get her head clear and she and severus where both blushing. “does this mean it’s my turn?” she asked and received cackles of laughter from all.
All: MOLESTATION IS NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The fic features: terrible grammar, as usual, rampant molestation, drinking, OOC-ness, and rape. I'm pretty certain that the author is oblivious to the fact that the scenarios she wrote are considered rape and molestation.
The MST features: Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Remus Lupin, and Albus Dumbledore. All listed definitions are from dictionary.com.
Enjoy!
Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape, and Remus Lupin enter Dumbledore’s office.
Dumbledore: Good evening, all, let’s get started.
McGonagall: You mean you don’t have prior engagements today, Albus?
Snape: I doubt he ever did.
Dumbledore: I have decided to complete your punishment with you, today, out of curiosity.
Snape: I happen to be curious about many poisons, however, I do not test them on myself.
McGonagall: That’s what the students are for.
Snape: Precisely.
Lupin: What am I being punished for?
Snape: *begins to speak, but is interrupted*
McGonagall: Don’t start, Severus.
Thanks for all the reviews so far
Snape: You’re welcome.
Dumbledore: How nice of you to offer a constructive review of this young authors’ work, Severus. I must say I’m shocked at your kindness.
Snape: *sarcastically* Slogging through this dreck with Minerva has reformed me.
McGonagall: *suppresses a smile*
Lupin: I have trouble believing your review was kind…
I hope you enjoy this chapter.
McGonagall: I doubt it.
Dumbledore: Don’t be so pessimistic, Minerva. Perhaps, the author has improved.
McGonagall: And perhaps, Severus will begin skipping through the halls singing Christmas carols.
oh yeah I am sorry
Snape: That you updated? Don’t worry, we are too.
Lupin: Come now, Severus, there’s no need to be unkind.
Snape: Unless, of course, you’re James Potter, then you can be as unkind as you would like, isn’t that right, Lupin?
McGonagall: You just had to put these two in a room together, didn’t you, Albus?
Dumbledore: It’s a bonding exercise, if you recall.
Snape: I refuse to bond with a hypocritical werewolf.
McGonagall: One more word out of you, Severus, and you will spend your Saturday in detention.
Snape: That threat is ineffective as I am no longer a student, Minerva.
McGonagall: You will find that my power reaches far and wide and I can put you in detention regardless of you standing as a colleague.
it has taken me so long to update I’ve had some stuff going on
Poppy glared back and hooch why didn’t I behave less suspiciously
Lupin: I’m confused, is the author asking a bottle of liquor why they didn’t behave less suspiciously?
Dumbledore: Perhaps Poppy is thinking this as she is glaring at Madame Hooch?
Snape: You give the author way too much credit, Dumbledore.
…I am gonna kill hooch
McGonagall: No liquor jokes, Severus?
Snape: I grow weary of this author’s inability to capitalize pronouns.
…wait I only remember seeing McGonagall
Dumbledore: Minerva’s name appears to be capitalized, Severus. You really ought to try to be more optimistic.
Snape: *sarcastically* Nothing pleases me more than the stupidity of this fanfiction and the muggle who wrote it.
McGonagall: *suppresses a smile*
Dumbledore: That’s the spirit.
so this must be her idea oh I am going to get revenge for this.
Snape: No, dear author, it is I who will be getting revenge.
She lifted her head and looked hooch in the eyes “well sticky beak
Lupin: …Is that supposed to be insulting?
McGonagall: I don’t recall Rolanda having a sticky beak.
I go and see alastor
Lupin: Surely that can’t be Moody because his name isn’t capitalized.
McGonagall: By forgoing the capitalization of Alastor’s name it appears the author has misspelled alabaster, which wouldn’t make sense in the context.
Snape: I have long given up on deciphering the author’s atrocious grammar. I have better things to do with my time.
McGonagall: Like traumatize and mock the entire student population and brood in the dungeons.
and if u must know
Lupin: I really don’t think there is anything that the letter “U” must know.
we have been seeing eachother since the end of last year”
McGonagall: I really don’t think Alastor and Poppy would ever court.
the room burst out in laughter
Lupin: Because we have all regressed in age.
making poppy look even redder.
Snape: Poppy plants tend to be more purple than red.
lupin was clutching his sides gasping for breath.
Snape: *is hopeful* Is he dying? I would be more than happy to facilitate the process. There shall be little time for gasping if one uses Cyanide.
Dumbledore: I think you’ll find life more enjoyable if you try to be nicer to people, Severus. Perhaps, you might develop a friendship.
McGonagall: And Bellatrix Lestrange might develop some semblance of sanity.
“well I never new you would fall for a beaten down psycho”
Dumbledore: I suppose I could see why Alastor would be considered psychotic.
McGonagall: Let me reiterate, Bellatrix Lestrange is psychotic, Alastor is unorthodox. You’re in denial, Albus. This fic is stupid. Admit it and move on.
lupin finally managed to splutter out only getting a kick in the sins
Snape: Is that a new form of religious repentance?
McGonagall: *as a sinner* Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
Lupin: *as a preacher* Once I kick the sins out of you, you will be forgiven.
as a result
“well lupin seaming
Lupin: A seam is where articles of clothing have been stitched together. To seem is to appear a certain way. They are two different words.
that you are so kind you can go next. Truth or dare?”
lupin stoped
Snape: I still have no idea what that word means.
Dumbledore: Well, it could be a slang term of some sort. Perhaps it is a combination of stove pipe, meaning you hit someone with a stove pipe? Like to Pwn is to personally own?
Snape, McGonagall, and Lupin: *are perplexed at the use of muggle slang*
Dumbledore: Muggles are fascinating. We really ought to keep more in touch with their world. They did design socks, afterall, and fuzzy one’s at that!
McGonagall: *facepalm*
Snape: The meaning from the dictionary.com, a much more reliable source than muggle adolescents, is first, as a noun, “any excavation made in a mine, esp. from a steeply inclined vein, to remove the ore that has been rendered accessible by the shafts and drifts,” and second, as a verb, “to mine or work by stopes.”
laughing
Lupin: So I was mining laughter via excavations made in hills?
McGonagall: That is an interesting hobby.
and took another swig of the drink in front of him before answering.
Snape: We do not all drink and the vast majority of us do not do so excessively. I for one prefer to keep my mind unhindered by ethanol.
“I chose truth” poppy giggled “ok what teacher did you have a crush on at school and did u try and pursue it”
McGonagall: Teacher/Student relationships are sick and against the rules.
lupin smiled as he spoke. “I had a crush on professor pankingsen
Snape: Your problems run deeper than your lycanthropy and hypocrisy. It appears you are also delusional, Lupin.
Lupin: It has been over twenty years since we finished school. I think we should leave the school-yard grudges behind, Severus.
Snape: *sneers*
McGonagall: This is why you don’t have friends.
Snape: Really, Minerva? You and I often socialize in a non-professional setting and interact in ways that can be construed as friendly. Thus I have, at least one friend by societal definitions. Therefore, if you are my friend and I am, to quote the students, “an evil git,” what does that make you?
Dumbledore: Severus does have a point, Minerva.
and yes I did try and pursue it”
Dumbledore: Oh my, that is quite disturbing.
McGonagall: That is sick and twisted. STUDENTS AND TEACHERS CAN NOT HAVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER!
there where shocked expressions from everyone in the room. “Remus what exactly did you mean by tried to pursue it?” severus had a puzzled
Snape: The correct term is “disgusted.”
look on his face. Remus shrugged downed the rest of his drink and mumbled
McGonagall: Accio commas!
“I got into her chambers one night and tried to well you know
All: #&@^%$&**@&&^^%%&@^#!!!!!!!!!!
and well she woke up
All: $^#*$^$^$&**#&^@@*#((*&^^&&^*!!!!!
Lupin: I tried to rape a teacher.
Snape: Without drugs. Rape is stupid and disgusting to begin with, but seriously?
McGonagall: I’m pretty certain that would wake someone up in a hurry.
and started screaming at me”
Lupin: No shit, fic!me.
McGonagall: I, personally, would’ve crucioed fic!you’s ass to insanity.
severus was the first to burst into laughter.
Snape: Rape is not something I find even remotely amusing. I intend to crucio this author’s ass to insanity.
When all had calmed down Remus looked at severus
Lupin: Why the hell can’t she capitalize all the names in one sentence? She obviously knows how. Her shift key is obviously working.
and asked truth or dare and being a slytherin he of course weighed the odds
McGonagall: *is insulted* Only Slytherins think before they act?
Snape: Gryffindors sure as hell don’t.
and chose truth. “ok Sev is it true that lockart kissed you?”
McGonagall: I knew that was the reason for your incessant torment of Gilderoy.
Snape: I dare him to even attempt such an act. I’d start using the spells I learned from the Dark Lord.
there where many muffled giggles before a very pale Snape chose to take off his shirt.
Snape: I am not gay and if I were I would not be attracted to Lockhart!
McGonagall: Well it would certainly explain why you have never had a girlfriend.
Snape: You’ve had a dry spell spanning the last fifty years. What’s your excuse?
Lupin: This is a rather awkward topic, could we, perhaps, finish the story?
“well severus you defiantly
Lupin: To be defiant means to disobey or to break rules. That does not work in this context.
cant
McGonagall: -use an apostrophe.
Lupin: Or capitalize pronouns
Snape: Or write in general.
play this game very well?”
McGonagall: Or, apparently, use a question mark.
Flitwit
Snape: -apparently Flitwick has another incredibly obvious alias.
Pipped
Lupin: Another improperly used verb.
Snape: According to dictionary.com the definitions of “pipped are as follows:
1. to peep or chirp.
2. to break out from the shell.
3. to blackball.
4. to defeat
5. to wound or kill with a bullet.
McGonagall: So “Flitwit” was spontaneously transfigured into a baby chicken-
Lupin: -or attempting to hatch-
Snape: -or blackballing me-
Dumbledore: -or defeating Severus-
Snape: -not a possibility-
McGonagall: -or trying to shoot Severus.
Lupin: So we really don’t have any idea what “Flitwit” is doing.
Snape: Thanks to the authors abysmal abuse of the English language.
in causing him to be the next target where he was made to do a version of umbrage angry.
Dumbledore: How would making a mockery of Umbridge humiliate Flitwick? I thought that was the goal of this muggle game?
Lupin: He’s not imitating Delores Umbridge. He’s imitating an angry umbrage.
Snape: Which, dictionary.com tells us is:
1. offense, annoyance, displeasure
2. a vague feeling of suspicion, doubt, or hostility
3. tree-leaves that offer shade
4. a shadowy appearance or semblance of something
McGonagall: The first definition definitely applies to Delores and could be associated with anger. I suppose you could imitate an “angry feeling of offense, annoyance, or displeasure.”
Lupin: The second definition could also be associated with anger and is feasible to imitate.
Snape: According to the third definition “Flitwit” is imitating angry foliage, which is stupid.
Dumbledore: According to the fourth definition Filius is imitating a semblance of anger.
McGonagall: The author’s English teacher should still be fired.
These silly dares went on for a while until McGonagall and hooch spiked the drinks.
All: *are astonished*
Lupin: Is that-
McGonagall: Could it be-
Snape: How is that possible?
Dumbledore: A correct sentence?
Poppy was the first to become a victim of this causing her to now be sitting very angry looking and out for blood
McGonagall: Oh that was intelligent of me. Let’s spike the drinks and send everyone on a murderous rampage. What fun!
Snape: This fic is very close to sending me on a murderous rampage.
and severus big mouth got him in her line of fire.
Lupin: I wouldn’t really classify Severus as a big-mouth. A sarcastic git, yes, but a big-mouth, no.
“ok severus you seam
McGonagall: SEEMS!
very amused about this so your turn truth or dare?” severus grinned
Snape: I do not grin. I sneer.
McGonagall: Or scowl.
Dumbledore: Or glare.
a little
Dumbledore: How does one grin “a little”?
before answering
“I chose dare as truth doesn’t seam
All: SEEM!! Not “Seam”, SEEM!
safe at the moment”
Snape: And dare is safer. Fic!me’s logic is very faulty.
poppy’s eyes shone and she cleared her throat before moving over to whisper in his ear. “I dare you to go up to Rolanda slip your hand up her skirt and kiss her on the lips for at least a minute
Snape: And I dare you, fic!Poppy, to dive off the astronomy tower.
…oh and make it good or it will be for 2 minutes” severus turned white as a sheet “what's the matter sev cant do it…well then I think that means your boxer come off” everyone except hooch and McGonagall was looking at him. “no I’ll
Snape: -push you off the astronomy tower instead.
do your dare”
with that Snape leaped up and crawled on all fours
Lupin: For what reason?
McGonagall: Was that fic!you’s pathetic attempt to be stealthy?
over to hooch who had turned her head towards him.
Dumbledore: Fic!you isn’t going to ask for Rolanda’s consent?
Lupin: Nonconsensual sexual activity SEEMS to be rampant in this book.
Her face showed shock and her eyes where wide as his cold, slender hands crawled under her skirt and up her legs,
McGonagall: Uncharted territory, aye Severus?
Snape: One more word and you’ll be following dear fic!Poppy off the astronomy tower.
while his mouth descended on her own.
McGonagall: You might want to have Poppy examine that descending mouth of yours, Severus. I imagine that could be quite problematic.
She was in complete shock and obeyed him when his tongue demanded entrance
into her mouth. His tongue explored her mouth as his hands explored under her skirt.
McGonagall: -trying to figure out what exactly was there.
Snape: I do have a knowledge of basic human anatomy, Minerva.
His hands crawled on the outside of her legs then moved to crease her inner thighs and more then once his hands brushed up against her vagina,
Snape: *headdesk, repeatedly*
McGonagall, Lupin, and Dumbledore: 0_0
it sent shivers all over her body and then all of the sudden he pulled away.
Snape: *looks ill*
McGonagall: Hang in there, Severus, it’s almost over.
It took several minutes for hooch to get her head clear and she and severus where both blushing. “does this mean it’s my turn?” she asked and received cackles of laughter from all.
All: MOLESTATION IS NOT FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!