something that has been bugging me....

[thebigkasuma]

Maybe this is insensitive to the good Jewish people, but I cannot understand why so many people are so adament about only dating other Jews. Yes, I understand that it's important to keep the Jewish people alive because it is a small population, I really do. I can respect that in theory. But in practice, to break up with a girlfriend because she's

Comments

You probably know all this, but I think it's worth stating:

[regorfa]

It would be racist, if Jews were a race. Except we're not. We're a religion, a civilization, a culture -- a "nation" only it's most figurative way. But we're not a race.

And if white Christians were suddenly a hyper-minority, I'm sure you would see people saying, "no blacks, please." To put it another way, if the entire world was like Brandeis (in the old days of 95% Jewish, not 55%), wouldn't the Christians stick together too?

Here's the basic problem. On an individual level, I have many, many friends who date and some family members who have married wonderful, loving amazing people who aren't Jewish. I've dated somebody that wasn't Jewish. On the individual, it is pretty horrible to say or to hear, "No, I'm not gonna date you because you're not Jewish."

But when you consider that half of us marry out, and that even those that do marry other Jews often don't do a whole lot more than go to services 3 or 4 times a year and celebrate Hannukah and Passover, there's a need to stay true to the collective whole. But it's not just about Judaism as a whole.

Here's the scary part, for me. The largest growing Jewish groups are the far right Hasidic and other right wing Jews, like Chabad. The truth is, I just don't identify with them, and I'm fairly certain most don't identify with me. As for the rest -- secular Jews, Reform and Reconstructionist Jews, and even (more) liberal Conservative Jews -- we're shrinking because we don't have 12 kids at a time and we marry out.

From my perspective, that means fewer and fewer sane Jews who don't take the Bible literally, who can eat whatever they want and not feel *too* guilty, and recognize that society changes that they can even allow women and men to be treated more equally. It means fewer Jews that will accept homosexuals as full Jews and not an abomination. And there has got to be a way that you can feel comfortable being a liberal and not an extremist. That's what the demographics mean. And that's why it's important to keep in mind the collective whole.

I love all my family members very much and I wouldn't trade any of them for the world, and frankly, I don't really have a problem on an individual basis with intermarriage. But that's the mentality.