(no subject)
Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in my own head. I rattle the bars, or I feel like I'm drowning, or I'm lost in the woods and am unable to find a tree to climb to see where I am, and I don't know what to do when I get like this. I want to talk to someone, but no matter how great my friends are they're not in my head to understand what this is like. So I try to use calming techniques, but since I don't actually note a definite feeling of anxiety I feel like it doesn't work. And although I know Pat would help me should I email her, she usually doesn't get back to me during the height of my panic when I need help. There's only so much advice after can do, when the feelings aren't as fresh.
I don't know. I feel loneliest at these times. I want someone who knows what I'm going through, but mostly I want a boyfriend. Just someone who will hold me and love me and help me through it; I know men like to fix things, well I wouldn't mind someone to do it. I know my friends would hug me but it's just not the same. I don't know.
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