Fic: Of Wishes and Dresses (27/38)
Title: Of Wishes and Dresses - Chapter 27
Genre: Angst / Drama
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Mike/Tina friendship, Mika/Sam
Summary: Mike Mika Chang was a girl; her body just didn't agree with that assessment.
AN: I spent a long time mapping out where this was going and have a tentative chapter count.
At the end of April, Mika was able to see her very first therapist. The gender therapist was a soft-spoken dark haired man named Dr. Montgomery, who had a serious expression permanently etched on his face. He sat in front of Mika, Mari and Daniel and smiled pleasantly, though his seriousness was still evident. Maybe it was just part of the job, she mused, looking around the office. He introduced himself in pleasant enough tones though and did not push Mika to say more than she was comfortable with. She left feeling reassured and a little bit confused.
She also was hit with the most terrifying thought of all. Transitioning was a reality and a process that could very well become part of her life. She doubted everything from the moment she walked out of the office and she just broke before she could get to the Cohen-Chang family car. Her chest tightened and her head began swimming in all of the thoughts the man had placed in her head. She thought about hormones, surgery, legality; all of these things had been placed in her head and on the table at once, and although she had considered them once or twice before, they had never been so real.
Jeslyn was on hormones and had told her that she felt confusion about eventual surgery. She had briefly mentioned her thought process but now the thought process was Mika’s and she was scared senseless. She stopped, holding on to the back of a bench and quickly propelling herself over it so she could sit down before she literally passed out. It was all way too real. It was all too much. “I don’t…I don’t know what I’m doing,” she said delicately.
Mari and Daniel sprung into action, following her over to the bench and sitting on either side of her. “What’s wrong honey?” Mari asked gently. She ran her fingers over Mika’s shoulders, comforting her as best as she could. “We’re here for you, your mom and dad, okay? We’re right here. Talk to me sweetheart.”
Mika breathed in deeply and tried to speak. She found that words were hard when her throat felt closed him. “I’m overwhelmed,” she said out loud, laughing at how she couldn’t find a better word to express it than that. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. There are so many changes, changes, I hate change, Mom, I hate change.”
“I love you so much, Mika Chang,” the woman mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Breathe before you stir yourself up into a panic attack. I know that we dealt with a lot of information today, but you are completely adored and we’re right here.”
“If I didn’t have you I’d be dead,” she mumbled.
Daniel, who was often soft spoken, spoke up as well. “Mika, sweetheart,” he said. “You changed my world view, personally and gave me another daughter to love and adore as much as I do Tina. I couldn’t believe the sheer amount of stuff that Doctor told us, but we’re going to take it one day at a time as a family. We’re a family and you got me, Mari and Tina all on your side. I’m surrounded by strong women and my family takes care of each other. Your family, our family…alright sweetheart?”
Mika nodded a little bit. Daniel was right, just as right as she was. She wouldn’t be where she was if not for her family but she had her family and they were right there with her. “You’re right,” she said as the realization dawned on her.
“Would you like it if I called Tina to take the other car up here?” Mari asked thoughtfully, exchanging glances with Daniel over her head. “We can spend the day together as a family and it might get your mind off of being overwhelmed and all.”
“Yes, please,” she said desperately, watching as her mother pulled out her cell phone.
Mari quickly hit the speed dial that led to Tina’s phone, cradling her own phone against her ear. “Hi sweetheart,” she said. “Oh yes, it went pretty well but Mika’s a little bit overwhelmed and tired and I figured that since we’re out of Lima for a little bit, maybe we could have a bit of a family day. Would you mind taking the spare car and meeting us? Yes, Tina, I trust you, but be very, very careful alright? Thank you sweetie.”
She hung up and looked Mika in the eye. “Tina’s coming,” she said softly.
“She’s probably throwing a happy fit that you’re letting her take the car,” Mika said, smiling as relief washed over her.
“That is true. Let’s go head to that little café down the street and get you some water honey.” Mari rested one hand on Mika’s forehead and then nodded at her husband and daughter. “You look really pale and I don’t want you to get sick. You need to get a drink of water or, or something at the very least. ”
They went down the street to a little corner side café. Mari and Daniel took a seat on Mika’s either side. “Can I get a glass of water for my daughter first?” Mari asked the waitress, when she came over and asked them what they’d like. “We’re waiting for another daughter to arrive and Mika’s not feeling well.”
“Sure thing,” said the woman. She soon returned with a glass of water. Mika took a deep drink from the glass, thankful for the hydration and the way that it began to calm her down. She leaned back against the table, wondering if Tina would get there soon. They were only about twenty-five minutes away from home and it was a pretty calm day.
“Have you been visiting Doctor Montgomery today?”
Mika looked up to see that a grey haired man had stopped at their table and was giving them a friendly smile. “Yes, I have,” Mika said softly.
“That’s good,” he said. “Pardon my interruption but I noticed that you looked flustered and well, there’s a large transgendered community that come to visit Montgomery. He’s a fantastic gender therapist. He made it his specialty because his aunt was transgendered and he wanted to be able to help people who went through the same struggles she did. I know he seems a bit stern but he’s a fantastic man.”
“Who are you?” Mari asked, defensively.
“Oh I’m sorry,” he said, shaking her hand. “My name is William Ferguson. My son was one of Doctor Montgomery’s patients when he was quite a bit younger. After my son stopped therapy with him, I retired and began to work as a file clerk in the Doctor’s office. It was a small way to spend time and give my thanks to the man who saved my son’s life.”
“Saved his life?” Mika asked.
“Yes,” the man said. “He was very depressed. Transitioning was very rough and I truly believe that the therapy saved his life.”
Mika was quiet and smiled, trying to give her thanks, but she had a single question. “Does the overwhelmed, scared feeling ever go away?” she asked weakly.
“Yes, it does,” he said. “I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that you’re going to see a lot of me in the future Miss-”
“Mika, Mika Chang,” she said.
“I’ll see you around.”
When he left, Mika looked to her parents and whispered her thoughts. “I’m not sure what the future brings for me.”
"Very few do," Daniel said sagely.
"I-I know," Mika said. "I just am starting to wonder what's next for me. I want to get on hormone therapy as soon as I can get the okay to do so, but there is so much more in my future that's just weird and scary. I'm not one hundred percent on how I feel about surgery, not just yet...I'm...I'm scared. I don't even know where to begin."
Mari wrapped an arm around her daughter's shoulders and Mika leaned into it. "Take one thing at a time, sweetheart," she said softly. "You don't have to make those choices yet. Slow your mind down and take things one at a time. You have so much coming up. You have prom and Nationals in New York. You have stuff with Sam and you're going to have to start doing college stuff. There's a lot in between here and then and you gotta take one at a time you know."
She nodded slowly, drinking her water.
As she expected, Tina arrived in a lot less than the expected time. She looked a little out of breath and Mari immediately gave her a look. She smiled sheepishly and then threw her arms around her sister, knowing that Mika was distressed by that weird family bond they owned. “You okay honey?” she asked Mika.
“Better now,” she assured her sister quickly
“Alright let’s get some food in here,” Daniel declared.
The waitress soon returned to their table and they ordered food. Tina rolled her eyes as she remembered something. “Mika, you gotta text Sam,” she said. “He’s been irritating the hell out of me because he knows you went to a therapist today and he’s worried, but he doesn’t want to text you himself and bother you.”
“Oh Sam,” Mika mumbled, reaching for her phone.
“He’s so caught up in her.”
“Who could blame him?”
Mika shook her head, still blushing heavily.
Their dinner was nothing special, just some café food, but it was enjoyable, spending time together as a family. Since they had all driven up into town anyway, they decided to go to the mall afterward, the adults splitting up with Mika and Tina.
Mika and Tina were in a boutique looking at jewelry when Tina turned to her sister and asked her softly, “Mika…can I ask you for some relationship advice?”
Mika stopped, putting back the bracelet she had been looking at. “What’s up, Tina?”
Tina shifted, looking uncomfortable. “Well,” she said, browsing through the displays still and not looking Mika in the eyes. “I’m really interested in someone and I kind of think this person is interested in me too right? Of course, this person just got out of a breakup and it’s not someone that would probably get a lot of approval and I’m not sure what to do…”
“Brittany likes you too,” she said quickly. “No doubt to that.”
Genre: Angst / Drama
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Mike/Tina friendship, Mika/Sam
Summary: Mike Mika Chang was a girl; her body just didn't agree with that assessment.
AN: I spent a long time mapping out where this was going and have a tentative chapter count.
At the end of April, Mika was able to see her very first therapist. The gender therapist was a soft-spoken dark haired man named Dr. Montgomery, who had a serious expression permanently etched on his face. He sat in front of Mika, Mari and Daniel and smiled pleasantly, though his seriousness was still evident. Maybe it was just part of the job, she mused, looking around the office. He introduced himself in pleasant enough tones though and did not push Mika to say more than she was comfortable with. She left feeling reassured and a little bit confused.
She also was hit with the most terrifying thought of all. Transitioning was a reality and a process that could very well become part of her life. She doubted everything from the moment she walked out of the office and she just broke before she could get to the Cohen-Chang family car. Her chest tightened and her head began swimming in all of the thoughts the man had placed in her head. She thought about hormones, surgery, legality; all of these things had been placed in her head and on the table at once, and although she had considered them once or twice before, they had never been so real.
Jeslyn was on hormones and had told her that she felt confusion about eventual surgery. She had briefly mentioned her thought process but now the thought process was Mika’s and she was scared senseless. She stopped, holding on to the back of a bench and quickly propelling herself over it so she could sit down before she literally passed out. It was all way too real. It was all too much. “I don’t…I don’t know what I’m doing,” she said delicately.
Mari and Daniel sprung into action, following her over to the bench and sitting on either side of her. “What’s wrong honey?” Mari asked gently. She ran her fingers over Mika’s shoulders, comforting her as best as she could. “We’re here for you, your mom and dad, okay? We’re right here. Talk to me sweetheart.”
Mika breathed in deeply and tried to speak. She found that words were hard when her throat felt closed him. “I’m overwhelmed,” she said out loud, laughing at how she couldn’t find a better word to express it than that. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. There are so many changes, changes, I hate change, Mom, I hate change.”
“I love you so much, Mika Chang,” the woman mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Breathe before you stir yourself up into a panic attack. I know that we dealt with a lot of information today, but you are completely adored and we’re right here.”
“If I didn’t have you I’d be dead,” she mumbled.
Daniel, who was often soft spoken, spoke up as well. “Mika, sweetheart,” he said. “You changed my world view, personally and gave me another daughter to love and adore as much as I do Tina. I couldn’t believe the sheer amount of stuff that Doctor told us, but we’re going to take it one day at a time as a family. We’re a family and you got me, Mari and Tina all on your side. I’m surrounded by strong women and my family takes care of each other. Your family, our family…alright sweetheart?”
Mika nodded a little bit. Daniel was right, just as right as she was. She wouldn’t be where she was if not for her family but she had her family and they were right there with her. “You’re right,” she said as the realization dawned on her.
“Would you like it if I called Tina to take the other car up here?” Mari asked thoughtfully, exchanging glances with Daniel over her head. “We can spend the day together as a family and it might get your mind off of being overwhelmed and all.”
“Yes, please,” she said desperately, watching as her mother pulled out her cell phone.
Mari quickly hit the speed dial that led to Tina’s phone, cradling her own phone against her ear. “Hi sweetheart,” she said. “Oh yes, it went pretty well but Mika’s a little bit overwhelmed and tired and I figured that since we’re out of Lima for a little bit, maybe we could have a bit of a family day. Would you mind taking the spare car and meeting us? Yes, Tina, I trust you, but be very, very careful alright? Thank you sweetie.”
She hung up and looked Mika in the eye. “Tina’s coming,” she said softly.
“She’s probably throwing a happy fit that you’re letting her take the car,” Mika said, smiling as relief washed over her.
“That is true. Let’s go head to that little café down the street and get you some water honey.” Mari rested one hand on Mika’s forehead and then nodded at her husband and daughter. “You look really pale and I don’t want you to get sick. You need to get a drink of water or, or something at the very least. ”
They went down the street to a little corner side café. Mari and Daniel took a seat on Mika’s either side. “Can I get a glass of water for my daughter first?” Mari asked the waitress, when she came over and asked them what they’d like. “We’re waiting for another daughter to arrive and Mika’s not feeling well.”
“Sure thing,” said the woman. She soon returned with a glass of water. Mika took a deep drink from the glass, thankful for the hydration and the way that it began to calm her down. She leaned back against the table, wondering if Tina would get there soon. They were only about twenty-five minutes away from home and it was a pretty calm day.
“Have you been visiting Doctor Montgomery today?”
Mika looked up to see that a grey haired man had stopped at their table and was giving them a friendly smile. “Yes, I have,” Mika said softly.
“That’s good,” he said. “Pardon my interruption but I noticed that you looked flustered and well, there’s a large transgendered community that come to visit Montgomery. He’s a fantastic gender therapist. He made it his specialty because his aunt was transgendered and he wanted to be able to help people who went through the same struggles she did. I know he seems a bit stern but he’s a fantastic man.”
“Who are you?” Mari asked, defensively.
“Oh I’m sorry,” he said, shaking her hand. “My name is William Ferguson. My son was one of Doctor Montgomery’s patients when he was quite a bit younger. After my son stopped therapy with him, I retired and began to work as a file clerk in the Doctor’s office. It was a small way to spend time and give my thanks to the man who saved my son’s life.”
“Saved his life?” Mika asked.
“Yes,” the man said. “He was very depressed. Transitioning was very rough and I truly believe that the therapy saved his life.”
Mika was quiet and smiled, trying to give her thanks, but she had a single question. “Does the overwhelmed, scared feeling ever go away?” she asked weakly.
“Yes, it does,” he said. “I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that you’re going to see a lot of me in the future Miss-”
“Mika, Mika Chang,” she said.
“I’ll see you around.”
When he left, Mika looked to her parents and whispered her thoughts. “I’m not sure what the future brings for me.”
"Very few do," Daniel said sagely.
"I-I know," Mika said. "I just am starting to wonder what's next for me. I want to get on hormone therapy as soon as I can get the okay to do so, but there is so much more in my future that's just weird and scary. I'm not one hundred percent on how I feel about surgery, not just yet...I'm...I'm scared. I don't even know where to begin."
Mari wrapped an arm around her daughter's shoulders and Mika leaned into it. "Take one thing at a time, sweetheart," she said softly. "You don't have to make those choices yet. Slow your mind down and take things one at a time. You have so much coming up. You have prom and Nationals in New York. You have stuff with Sam and you're going to have to start doing college stuff. There's a lot in between here and then and you gotta take one at a time you know."
She nodded slowly, drinking her water.
As she expected, Tina arrived in a lot less than the expected time. She looked a little out of breath and Mari immediately gave her a look. She smiled sheepishly and then threw her arms around her sister, knowing that Mika was distressed by that weird family bond they owned. “You okay honey?” she asked Mika.
“Better now,” she assured her sister quickly
“Alright let’s get some food in here,” Daniel declared.
The waitress soon returned to their table and they ordered food. Tina rolled her eyes as she remembered something. “Mika, you gotta text Sam,” she said. “He’s been irritating the hell out of me because he knows you went to a therapist today and he’s worried, but he doesn’t want to text you himself and bother you.”
“Oh Sam,” Mika mumbled, reaching for her phone.
“He’s so caught up in her.”
“Who could blame him?”
Mika shook her head, still blushing heavily.
Their dinner was nothing special, just some café food, but it was enjoyable, spending time together as a family. Since they had all driven up into town anyway, they decided to go to the mall afterward, the adults splitting up with Mika and Tina.
Mika and Tina were in a boutique looking at jewelry when Tina turned to her sister and asked her softly, “Mika…can I ask you for some relationship advice?”
Mika stopped, putting back the bracelet she had been looking at. “What’s up, Tina?”
Tina shifted, looking uncomfortable. “Well,” she said, browsing through the displays still and not looking Mika in the eyes. “I’m really interested in someone and I kind of think this person is interested in me too right? Of course, this person just got out of a breakup and it’s not someone that would probably get a lot of approval and I’m not sure what to do…”
“Brittany likes you too,” she said quickly. “No doubt to that.”