The Carmines
Dream
Last night I was living in an place that was a close knit farming community. The family name in the community was Carmine and we referred to the place we lived as the Ponderosa. We were completely self sufficient and did not have contact with the world outside of ours. We wore clothing reminiscent of the pioneer days. One day a general of some sort came into the community because he wanted to abduct me. He was dressed in the style of a confederate soldier and had a long mustache, long hair, and beard. He had a group of soldiers that came after me. I was surrounded with other people from the Ponderosa. The soldiers had guns and we only had bows and arrows. One by one my comrades around me fell as they fought to protect me. In the chaos I was able to climb up into a tree and watch. The soldiers fanned out to look for me as the general took to a bridge. He paused on the bridge and was looking around. At that moment I knew I could take my shot at him. I had the bow and arrow poised to kill, but I realized that I could not take the life of another person. Just then a black bird flew over the generals head. I shifted my arrow up and took down the bird. I wanted him to know that I could easily shoot him in the heart had I wanted to. I wanted to scare him. Feather's flew around the general. He inspected the fallen bird at his feet. I took his confusion as my opportunity to flee. I dashed towards the main house of the compound where they harbored me inside. I was hidden from site, but I could hear the family talking to the general and his soldiers. They were telling him that they didn't know where I was. The General told them that he meant no harm to the Carmine family and only wanted me. He said he would be back to get me and then he left.
When he was gone the family pulled me out of hiding and we started to form a plan. They were going to send me away with a select group of people. We were not to return to the family until we knew the coast was clear. Five people went with me: my real life sister-in-law Wendy, my real life best friend Dawn, and two men that I don't know named Frank and Eli. The family loaded up an RV and attached a covered wagon to the back that was full of supplies. Wendy took the wheel. We headed down the long driveway to begin the journey to safety. When we saw the two 88 person RV's that were carrying the General and his men. Knowing they were back for me Wendy accelerated the vehicle and took to the woods. We were not sure if they saw us or not but we stayed in the woods as long as we could drive. I was very impressed by Wendy's driving skills to say the least! We didn't think that they had seen us because the drivers of the vehicles didn't seem to take notice of us and the RV's were set up in a fashion that they didn't have any windows. It was a tall vehicle that stacks of beds attached to the walls where the soldiers could rest while the journeyed. Our escape had been hastily planned because of time restraints and the only thing that we had planned was that we were going to Canada and we were going to find a place to set up camp there. We didn't know where and we didn't know how long we would be gone. We wouldn't be able to contact any of our family at the Ponderosa and we knew that the General would be hunting us. Once we were in Canada we traveled the main roads until we found a forested area that had a pull off big enough for our RV and Wagon. We parked and grabbed as much supplies as we could then took off on foot into the forest. We found an old abandoned barn and decided to set up shop there. Wendy went back to the RV and found a discrete place to park it; where if found it would throw the soldiers off our trail.
The years started to go by and the five of us lived very much like a family; with Frank and me being the heads of house hold. When our supplies ran out we ate the food that we grew or hunted. Anything we needed we made and anything we couldn't make we went without. We didn't have electricity, but luckily we did have running water. There were three levels to the barn. To avoid being detected we didn't use the ground level for much except that our garden had to be outside. The second floor was our living quarters. The supplies were stored on the third floor. Us ladies set that area up like it was a series of shops. Even though there was no one to man the shops it was a fun distraction for us to pretend to go shopping when we needed something and we delighted in it. Life was hard and we missed family, but generally we were happy.
Then suddenly, one day, Eli went mad. The secluded life style that we were living had driven him insane. We were all in the living quarters except for Eli. I was doing dishes. Frank was sitting and reading. Dawn and Wendy were playing a game. Eli came bursting into the room with a knife a rushed towards me; screaming, eye's wild. Frank jumped up from his chair and was able to quickly subdue him. Frank pried the knife from Eli's hands which he handed to me. He had Eli pinned to the floor who was alternately between two states of being. At one moment he was thrashing around screaming, "This is her fault! We should kill her! Let me kill her!". Then he would collapse into sobs, weeping, "No, no, Heather, I'm so sorry. I love you. I can't live like that." Finally he calmed and begged of us, "Please let me leave. Let me go out on my own. I cannot live here. I will never return." Frank release Eli. We never saw Eli again and we were all very sad. Looking back we all agreed that we could see the signs of approaching madness, but in our day to day lives chose to ignore his symptoms. We figured he had gone back to the Carmines or was living in the forest on his own, but we never would know for sure. This chilling event with Eli left us all uneasy and I began to feel that we needed to contact our home family. It had been many years and it was possible that the entire event with the General had passed and that we could safely return to the life we knew. Internally I struggled because, yes, I did miss my family, but I was so comfortable with the life I had built. And something was happening between Frank and I. For years we had worked side by side as friends. We were family. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I knew I had a strong affection, maybe even love, for the man. I could see it was in his mind as well. When he looked at me his gaze would soften or his hand would brush mine and linger. I could tell by the way we laughed together as we did our chores. I didn't want to leave this life with him. I didn't know what would happen if we went back home, but I knew we would lose this closeness.
It didn't matter what I felt for Frank though. I knew I had to do what was best for everybody in the household. So, one evening I broached the subject that maybe it was time to send a letter home. Dawn and Wendy's eye's lit up with cautious anticipation at the mention of this idea. Out of loyalty to me they had never mentioned it, but I knew that they were deeply homesick. We debated it as a family. They were mostly worried at the risk that we would be opening ourselves up if we were discovered which would be very bad if the General was still after me. I consoled them saying we can't live in fear for our whole lives. They had risked so much for me and now it was time that I made a risk for them. I was sure that they would be safe because the General was after me, not them. I resolved that if it came down to it, I would give myself up to the General in order to assure their happiness and safety. Frank was admittedly against the idea. He said it wasn't worth the risk. I knew deep down he was scared to lose me because of the unspoken love that we shared. However, I insisted that we were moving forward with the plan despite the aching in my own heart. I crafted the letter. It explained that we were alive and well, our living situation (although included no details about our exact whereabouts), and asked whether it was safe to come home. Wendy took the letter into town to mail and we waited.
Then, on a day like any other, we started to hear tractors around our makeshift home. Frank and I rushed downstairs. It was night time so, using the darkness as a cloak we tried to erase all outward traces that we were harbored in this barn. Every time a tractor would approached we would hit the ground and when they passed we would jump to our feet and get back to work. We worked all through the night. When daylight approached and we could no longer use the darkness for cover we crept upstairs and huddled together with Dawn and Wendy on the uppermost level of the barn; afraid to move or make even the slightest noise. We started to hear more and more noise around us and I knew this was it. We were going to be discovered and even in the unlikely event that we were not turned over to the General, this life that we had built together over the years was coming to an end. I tried to reminisce about the good times to help push my fear aside. But as I did, I looked around our makeshift store and felt the tears pushing against the backs of my eyes. Then we heard a woman's voice yell up the stairs, "If you're going to stay here the least you could do is clean up the dishes."
There was something strange about this woman's voice. There was a trace of gentle humor in her call that I had not expected. Deliberately I rose and walked to the top of the steps. I looked down at a smiling, rosy cheeked woman. From our positions, her at the bottom of the steps and me at the top we spoke. She explained to me that she and her husband owned the barn and the land which we were living on. They knew our family back home and had been in contact with them. They had not, however, reveled to them that we were living here and never approached us. They did this for our safety. Over the years they had been able to act as a silent intermediary. Assuring the safety of both us and our family by not getting involved. When the news was relayed to them from our family that they had gotten a letter from us they thought it was time to come clean with everyone. They told my family that they knew where we were and had come to bring us the message that we were safe to make the passage back home to the Carmines. Relief washed over everyone and shy smiles broke stoic, worried faces as I turned to Frank, Dawn, and Wendy.
We made the trip back home and we were greeted with joy and warmth. Frank came to visit me and my family the night after our arrival. We all sat around an open fire and I felt complete disbelief that I was once again home. Finally, my father broke the silence, "Well, Frank, what are you going to do?" Frank looked so confused. He was dumbfounded so, with a sly grin, my father filled in the blanks. "It is obvious that you love my daughter and that she loves you. So, are you going to ask to marry her or not?"
The rest of this dream is kind of a flurry of Frank and I getting married then moving back to our abandoned barn home. These detail are all unclear because I woke up to reality. My real home and my real husband. I couldn't believe the detail of the dream I had just had so I wanted to get up and write it all down right away. Which was what I thought I did, but I didn't. I fell back asleep so in this next dream I think that I am awake. Why I think I'm awake I don't know because this dream was set up a lot more like a typical dream where scenes keep changing and people keep coming and going for no reason. Following are the main points as best as I can remember them.
I was trying to remember and recount details from my dream like names and places and what we were wearing. Then I walked out into kind of a cafeteria. I saw some people that I knew, although I don't remember who they are now. I was trying to tell them about my dream. They were not listening though so I just started typing it all down. Then I had to get up because Dawn and Wendy came in and I wanted to talk to them. I was telling them about my dream and they said that they too had had the same dream. Basically we were all involved in a group dream. This explained to us why we three were the only characters in the dream who were also a part of our real lives. They started recounting the dream to me from their perspectives as I furiously took notes. I couldn't believe this amazing thing was happening to all of us and I couldn't wait to write about it.
Now, fast forward a year or more. I'm really not sure. This group dream of ours has sparked a family tradition. Every year a group of family goes on a road trip in an RV and then camp for a weekend. In keeping with the dream, they are not allowed to have a set coarse. All they know is that they are going to Canada and that they will find a place to camp when they get there. This year a group of my cousins is going on the trip, but I was not planning to go with them. However, my cousin Sally, who was driving the RV had other plans. She asked me to come on the RV to help her with something. When I did she closed the doors and started driving so that I could not get out. "Oh well," I thought, "It's not like I haven't done this before." Then I woke up for real this time.
Last night I was living in an place that was a close knit farming community. The family name in the community was Carmine and we referred to the place we lived as the Ponderosa. We were completely self sufficient and did not have contact with the world outside of ours. We wore clothing reminiscent of the pioneer days. One day a general of some sort came into the community because he wanted to abduct me. He was dressed in the style of a confederate soldier and had a long mustache, long hair, and beard. He had a group of soldiers that came after me. I was surrounded with other people from the Ponderosa. The soldiers had guns and we only had bows and arrows. One by one my comrades around me fell as they fought to protect me. In the chaos I was able to climb up into a tree and watch. The soldiers fanned out to look for me as the general took to a bridge. He paused on the bridge and was looking around. At that moment I knew I could take my shot at him. I had the bow and arrow poised to kill, but I realized that I could not take the life of another person. Just then a black bird flew over the generals head. I shifted my arrow up and took down the bird. I wanted him to know that I could easily shoot him in the heart had I wanted to. I wanted to scare him. Feather's flew around the general. He inspected the fallen bird at his feet. I took his confusion as my opportunity to flee. I dashed towards the main house of the compound where they harbored me inside. I was hidden from site, but I could hear the family talking to the general and his soldiers. They were telling him that they didn't know where I was. The General told them that he meant no harm to the Carmine family and only wanted me. He said he would be back to get me and then he left.
When he was gone the family pulled me out of hiding and we started to form a plan. They were going to send me away with a select group of people. We were not to return to the family until we knew the coast was clear. Five people went with me: my real life sister-in-law Wendy, my real life best friend Dawn, and two men that I don't know named Frank and Eli. The family loaded up an RV and attached a covered wagon to the back that was full of supplies. Wendy took the wheel. We headed down the long driveway to begin the journey to safety. When we saw the two 88 person RV's that were carrying the General and his men. Knowing they were back for me Wendy accelerated the vehicle and took to the woods. We were not sure if they saw us or not but we stayed in the woods as long as we could drive. I was very impressed by Wendy's driving skills to say the least! We didn't think that they had seen us because the drivers of the vehicles didn't seem to take notice of us and the RV's were set up in a fashion that they didn't have any windows. It was a tall vehicle that stacks of beds attached to the walls where the soldiers could rest while the journeyed. Our escape had been hastily planned because of time restraints and the only thing that we had planned was that we were going to Canada and we were going to find a place to set up camp there. We didn't know where and we didn't know how long we would be gone. We wouldn't be able to contact any of our family at the Ponderosa and we knew that the General would be hunting us. Once we were in Canada we traveled the main roads until we found a forested area that had a pull off big enough for our RV and Wagon. We parked and grabbed as much supplies as we could then took off on foot into the forest. We found an old abandoned barn and decided to set up shop there. Wendy went back to the RV and found a discrete place to park it; where if found it would throw the soldiers off our trail.
The years started to go by and the five of us lived very much like a family; with Frank and me being the heads of house hold. When our supplies ran out we ate the food that we grew or hunted. Anything we needed we made and anything we couldn't make we went without. We didn't have electricity, but luckily we did have running water. There were three levels to the barn. To avoid being detected we didn't use the ground level for much except that our garden had to be outside. The second floor was our living quarters. The supplies were stored on the third floor. Us ladies set that area up like it was a series of shops. Even though there was no one to man the shops it was a fun distraction for us to pretend to go shopping when we needed something and we delighted in it. Life was hard and we missed family, but generally we were happy.
Then suddenly, one day, Eli went mad. The secluded life style that we were living had driven him insane. We were all in the living quarters except for Eli. I was doing dishes. Frank was sitting and reading. Dawn and Wendy were playing a game. Eli came bursting into the room with a knife a rushed towards me; screaming, eye's wild. Frank jumped up from his chair and was able to quickly subdue him. Frank pried the knife from Eli's hands which he handed to me. He had Eli pinned to the floor who was alternately between two states of being. At one moment he was thrashing around screaming, "This is her fault! We should kill her! Let me kill her!". Then he would collapse into sobs, weeping, "No, no, Heather, I'm so sorry. I love you. I can't live like that." Finally he calmed and begged of us, "Please let me leave. Let me go out on my own. I cannot live here. I will never return." Frank release Eli. We never saw Eli again and we were all very sad. Looking back we all agreed that we could see the signs of approaching madness, but in our day to day lives chose to ignore his symptoms. We figured he had gone back to the Carmines or was living in the forest on his own, but we never would know for sure. This chilling event with Eli left us all uneasy and I began to feel that we needed to contact our home family. It had been many years and it was possible that the entire event with the General had passed and that we could safely return to the life we knew. Internally I struggled because, yes, I did miss my family, but I was so comfortable with the life I had built. And something was happening between Frank and I. For years we had worked side by side as friends. We were family. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I knew I had a strong affection, maybe even love, for the man. I could see it was in his mind as well. When he looked at me his gaze would soften or his hand would brush mine and linger. I could tell by the way we laughed together as we did our chores. I didn't want to leave this life with him. I didn't know what would happen if we went back home, but I knew we would lose this closeness.
It didn't matter what I felt for Frank though. I knew I had to do what was best for everybody in the household. So, one evening I broached the subject that maybe it was time to send a letter home. Dawn and Wendy's eye's lit up with cautious anticipation at the mention of this idea. Out of loyalty to me they had never mentioned it, but I knew that they were deeply homesick. We debated it as a family. They were mostly worried at the risk that we would be opening ourselves up if we were discovered which would be very bad if the General was still after me. I consoled them saying we can't live in fear for our whole lives. They had risked so much for me and now it was time that I made a risk for them. I was sure that they would be safe because the General was after me, not them. I resolved that if it came down to it, I would give myself up to the General in order to assure their happiness and safety. Frank was admittedly against the idea. He said it wasn't worth the risk. I knew deep down he was scared to lose me because of the unspoken love that we shared. However, I insisted that we were moving forward with the plan despite the aching in my own heart. I crafted the letter. It explained that we were alive and well, our living situation (although included no details about our exact whereabouts), and asked whether it was safe to come home. Wendy took the letter into town to mail and we waited.
Then, on a day like any other, we started to hear tractors around our makeshift home. Frank and I rushed downstairs. It was night time so, using the darkness as a cloak we tried to erase all outward traces that we were harbored in this barn. Every time a tractor would approached we would hit the ground and when they passed we would jump to our feet and get back to work. We worked all through the night. When daylight approached and we could no longer use the darkness for cover we crept upstairs and huddled together with Dawn and Wendy on the uppermost level of the barn; afraid to move or make even the slightest noise. We started to hear more and more noise around us and I knew this was it. We were going to be discovered and even in the unlikely event that we were not turned over to the General, this life that we had built together over the years was coming to an end. I tried to reminisce about the good times to help push my fear aside. But as I did, I looked around our makeshift store and felt the tears pushing against the backs of my eyes. Then we heard a woman's voice yell up the stairs, "If you're going to stay here the least you could do is clean up the dishes."
There was something strange about this woman's voice. There was a trace of gentle humor in her call that I had not expected. Deliberately I rose and walked to the top of the steps. I looked down at a smiling, rosy cheeked woman. From our positions, her at the bottom of the steps and me at the top we spoke. She explained to me that she and her husband owned the barn and the land which we were living on. They knew our family back home and had been in contact with them. They had not, however, reveled to them that we were living here and never approached us. They did this for our safety. Over the years they had been able to act as a silent intermediary. Assuring the safety of both us and our family by not getting involved. When the news was relayed to them from our family that they had gotten a letter from us they thought it was time to come clean with everyone. They told my family that they knew where we were and had come to bring us the message that we were safe to make the passage back home to the Carmines. Relief washed over everyone and shy smiles broke stoic, worried faces as I turned to Frank, Dawn, and Wendy.
We made the trip back home and we were greeted with joy and warmth. Frank came to visit me and my family the night after our arrival. We all sat around an open fire and I felt complete disbelief that I was once again home. Finally, my father broke the silence, "Well, Frank, what are you going to do?" Frank looked so confused. He was dumbfounded so, with a sly grin, my father filled in the blanks. "It is obvious that you love my daughter and that she loves you. So, are you going to ask to marry her or not?"
The rest of this dream is kind of a flurry of Frank and I getting married then moving back to our abandoned barn home. These detail are all unclear because I woke up to reality. My real home and my real husband. I couldn't believe the detail of the dream I had just had so I wanted to get up and write it all down right away. Which was what I thought I did, but I didn't. I fell back asleep so in this next dream I think that I am awake. Why I think I'm awake I don't know because this dream was set up a lot more like a typical dream where scenes keep changing and people keep coming and going for no reason. Following are the main points as best as I can remember them.
I was trying to remember and recount details from my dream like names and places and what we were wearing. Then I walked out into kind of a cafeteria. I saw some people that I knew, although I don't remember who they are now. I was trying to tell them about my dream. They were not listening though so I just started typing it all down. Then I had to get up because Dawn and Wendy came in and I wanted to talk to them. I was telling them about my dream and they said that they too had had the same dream. Basically we were all involved in a group dream. This explained to us why we three were the only characters in the dream who were also a part of our real lives. They started recounting the dream to me from their perspectives as I furiously took notes. I couldn't believe this amazing thing was happening to all of us and I couldn't wait to write about it.
Now, fast forward a year or more. I'm really not sure. This group dream of ours has sparked a family tradition. Every year a group of family goes on a road trip in an RV and then camp for a weekend. In keeping with the dream, they are not allowed to have a set coarse. All they know is that they are going to Canada and that they will find a place to camp when they get there. This year a group of my cousins is going on the trip, but I was not planning to go with them. However, my cousin Sally, who was driving the RV had other plans. She asked me to come on the RV to help her with something. When I did she closed the doors and started driving so that I could not get out. "Oh well," I thought, "It's not like I haven't done this before." Then I woke up for real this time.