Matters of perspective
I'm going to come right out and say this up front: this post is not meant to hurt anyone (as I'm sure that at least one of the parties involved will see this). I'm simply working through my thoughts. Sometimes writing helps me do that and, by golly, it's my journal; I deserve some introspective time once in a while!
I have a friend who is having trouble with some individuals. Nothing physical or anything, just mean words over the net. I'm not trying to devalue the hurt, as words really can do damage. I told that individual that the people's opinions only matter as much as that individual allows. It's hard, but sometimes you have to take a step back and look at the source.
Are these people really worth my time?
Do I really respect them or their opinion enough to let their words have weight?
I find myself asking this often. Generally, I step back, and realize I'm getting worked up over something that doesn't really matter (or rather, only really matters because I allow it to.) Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person and think to yourself, "I know that you believe what you are saying, but I don't. I won't let myself get bogged down by your negativity." It sounds corny, but I spend a lot of time "releasing" myself from the opinions of others. It tough, and words do hurt, but you have to LET them hurt you.
I've been costuming for a long time now, and I've had a couple of instances over the years where people tried to take me down a few notches. I've been brought down, then I talked to my wonderful Mom...who is always level headed. She reminded me that they are words, nothing more, and what I have in my heart is really what defines me. I live by that rule.
Not to say that one should blatantly ignore everyone's opinion- feedback is how you improve! But you will always have individuals who try to tear you down. Maybe they are jealous, maybe they feel better when they hurt others. I'm not really in the habit of trying to jump into their skulls- it's not doubt an ugly place. Instead, I try to forgive them and move on. It's hard to be the bigger person, but it's even harder to focus on one or two individuals who seem focused on hurting you.
They only can when you give them that power.
I voice my opinion, and hope that it's heard. I try to help this friend. Several times we have gone through this cycle (they approach me, ask for help, then ignore what I have to say), and each time I realize that my words really have no meaning to this individual. I try to help, but it seems like anything I say slips off. They do not respect my opinion enough to really let it penetrate, and my words have no weight. I'm not expecting a major miracle or instant turn around, but simple acknowledgment would be good.
Now if only I can get this person to be equally blind about the bad.
I'm not really hurt, or even annoyed. Just disappointed in myself that I can't seem to make a difference when I so desperately want to. Here I am, writing a documentary after having tried to help this friend. I need to take my own words to heart and simply let go.
Damn, sometimes it's hard to care so much.
And now back to your regularly scheduled (less deep) journal. I generally don't do a lot of introspective stuff here, but I really wanted to put it in order. Seeing it in text helps me do that.
I have a friend who is having trouble with some individuals. Nothing physical or anything, just mean words over the net. I'm not trying to devalue the hurt, as words really can do damage. I told that individual that the people's opinions only matter as much as that individual allows. It's hard, but sometimes you have to take a step back and look at the source.
Are these people really worth my time?
Do I really respect them or their opinion enough to let their words have weight?
I find myself asking this often. Generally, I step back, and realize I'm getting worked up over something that doesn't really matter (or rather, only really matters because I allow it to.) Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person and think to yourself, "I know that you believe what you are saying, but I don't. I won't let myself get bogged down by your negativity." It sounds corny, but I spend a lot of time "releasing" myself from the opinions of others. It tough, and words do hurt, but you have to LET them hurt you.
I've been costuming for a long time now, and I've had a couple of instances over the years where people tried to take me down a few notches. I've been brought down, then I talked to my wonderful Mom...who is always level headed. She reminded me that they are words, nothing more, and what I have in my heart is really what defines me. I live by that rule.
Not to say that one should blatantly ignore everyone's opinion- feedback is how you improve! But you will always have individuals who try to tear you down. Maybe they are jealous, maybe they feel better when they hurt others. I'm not really in the habit of trying to jump into their skulls- it's not doubt an ugly place. Instead, I try to forgive them and move on. It's hard to be the bigger person, but it's even harder to focus on one or two individuals who seem focused on hurting you.
They only can when you give them that power.
I voice my opinion, and hope that it's heard. I try to help this friend. Several times we have gone through this cycle (they approach me, ask for help, then ignore what I have to say), and each time I realize that my words really have no meaning to this individual. I try to help, but it seems like anything I say slips off. They do not respect my opinion enough to really let it penetrate, and my words have no weight. I'm not expecting a major miracle or instant turn around, but simple acknowledgment would be good.
Now if only I can get this person to be equally blind about the bad.
I'm not really hurt, or even annoyed. Just disappointed in myself that I can't seem to make a difference when I so desperately want to. Here I am, writing a documentary after having tried to help this friend. I need to take my own words to heart and simply let go.
Damn, sometimes it's hard to care so much.
And now back to your regularly scheduled (less deep) journal. I generally don't do a lot of introspective stuff here, but I really wanted to put it in order. Seeing it in text helps me do that.