Bitchin'
You know, I'll probably spend the next hour continuing to bitch at my wife about this but she's in the back setting up some video encoding for the time being so here I am.
We went out to dinner with this friend of hers who wishes she was her girlfriend... or maybe wife... I dunno. Point is, she's way more into my wife than my wife is into her. It's not that my wife doesn't like her and it's not like they don't fuck on occasion, but yeah. Also she's kind of crazy.
So this girl is a tall gazelle and it's very easy to forget that she's only 21 because she looks 28. She and I have never been on the same wavelength, so she's gotten it into her head that I didn't like her. I don't like to cause drama, so instead of staying home and playing some most excellent video games or seeing if anyone wanted to make out with me for an hour or two, I agreed to hang out with the two of them tonight for a bit to be nice and prove that I don't dislike her. There are certainly things about her that rub me the wrong way, but that's not to say that I don't like her.
So I'd had a few drinks to ensure that I'd be as laid back as possible and rode along while my wife picked her up from the airport. We had a fine time talking about porn and bullshit and stopped at Mel's to eat. Like I said, things were going just fine and we were all having a good time for a couple hours. I had agreed to take the toast that came with this girl's meal since she doesn't eat grain because she's on some crazy paleo-diet and because my wife is allergic to wheat. When her yogurt arrived she discovered that a small amount of sugar had been added and refused to eat it, handing it to me. I was more than happy to receive it since I was feeling peckish but my wife wouldn't let me order anything since we'd already had dinner and the food is a bit pricey there for what it is. Fair enough. I added a bit of sugar to the yogurt since it certainly didn't TASTE like sugar had been added, and my wife's friend felt the need to point out at this point that I was a hypocrite. Anyone who's read this LJ knows I'm quite passionate about sustainable food, but she thought that adding sugar to my (her) yogurt made me a hypocrite because sugar is unsustainable. I replied, "Not any more than the potatoes you're eating." (Or anything else on the table...) But she said that didn't matter since she didn't care about sustainable food like I did. I could have gotten into it with her but instead I put out a few lines about I make exceptions when I eat out and moderation in all things and tried to ignore her until my wife managed to change the subject.
Now, this is a girl who, the last time I saw her, had been all upset because she thought I hated her. I mean, she was high, but she's had some anxiety for a while, so my wife tells me, about me not liking her because I'm pretty quiet and reserved with people I don't have a lot of chemistry with. Unless I'm arguing. God I'm addicted to arguing. The only time I've had a really animated discussion with her was when we got into an argument about, essentially, whether sexual orientation exists. She's one of those people that thinks sexuality is what you do, not who you are, and that you never know until you try and all people have the capacity to be bisexual. She tells my wife that she's just afraid of men. Any of you who have met my wife will know exactly how laughable that is. Anyway... that's the only time I've really gotten into it with her. It was a friendly argument, but about 5 minutes in I was trying to get out, because it was immediately clear to me that she is not one of those people who argues in good faith. She's just arguing to win, and I have no interest in that. She's basically an internet troll made flesh. Not as bad as some people I know (*cough*) but still, I knew any argument would be a head-butting exercise instead of intellectual discourse. Ever since I've tried to avoid... well, her in general. But argument especially, and especially since it is a weakness of mine to be drawn into such things.
Well with that behind us, we went on having decent conversation. We talked about looking sexy as a masculine person and I said something about... I don't even remember and it doesn't matter, something about something being easier for men than for women (something obviously true, I promise) and she accused both my wife and I of being sexist against men and she didn't want to hear any more sexism against men. I was thinking in my brain, "Oh Jesus Christ. What about the menz?!" I said that it was impossible to conflate "reverse sexism" or whatever against men with the kind of institutionalized sexism that women face every day, and that the *real* sexism that men face has to do with the patriarchal norms that say they can't be feminine or gay etc. She started to argue with me in a most offensive manner, in a way I could NOT just ignore, when thank God my wife stepped in and said, "You know what, we are NOT going to discuss this." She kept trying, but I said, "I'm going to defer to my dear wife here," and pulled myself out of the conversation. Also I said, "You know, she's gonna go down on me when I get home, so I don't care." Haha... burn. And it's a good thing she stepped in, oh my god. I love arguing with people. I do NOT like arguing with people who are only arguing to win, but I find it so hard to ignore bait (it's one of my great weaknesses), and when people are going to be that blatantly offensive... ugh. I was ready to lay the smack down and it would NOT have been pretty.
For what it's worth, my wife is completely on my side about all of this. She says her friend isn't nearly so antagonistic when I'm not there. At least she's finally conceded that her friend and I probably shouldn't hang out much anymore, haha...
ETA: Disclaimer, not that I think it matters, but I was pretty drunk when I wrote all this, haha.