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[the_wheezy]

I haven't been able to think of a single, stupid thing to say to anybody's face all day today, and I know everything was just part of a bloody curse, but bloody hell! I said some stupid, stupid, awful things. I know I did, because I remember.

Merlin, I am a complete and total arse.

But I do know that I really ought to say something, because this

Comments

[honestlyrubbish]

It was a curse, Ronald, calm down.

[the_wheezy]

It just... I feel bad. I called you a twat, didn't I? Merlin's sake...

It's not helping that I keep on just saying everything out loud. Everything I think of, there it bloody is!

[honestlyrubbish]

And Ginny called me a Mudblood, but I still find that I don't really mind. You didn't mean it.

...oh?

[the_wheezy]

Still. I said it. It feels real enough, looking back. For a whole day, you know, I just thought bad things about everybody. Malfoy's such an arse, and I was exactly like him.

Yeah, apparently. I just been sort of muttering to myself all day while I tried to think of something decently eloquent to say about all of this.

[honestlyrubbish]

Well, that can be put to some use. Perhaps you can explain to me exactly why Malfoy does act like such an arse. What his reasoning is, if any.

Now I'm tempted to listen in just to see what really goes on in your mind.

[the_wheezy]

I can't even really wrap my head around it. It's just... I don't bloody know. It's what they all think, and how they were all brought up to think. It's like any stupid belief system, isn't it?

That prospect sounds really scary, actually. ... Of course, you'll probably ask why.

This's going to dig me a hole, isn't it?

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[honestlyrubbish]

So there isn't any logic to it, then. Wonderful.

[honestlyrubbish]

Why does it sound scary, Ron?

[the_wheezy]

Well, nobody wants people just listening in on things! It's... That's all personal, you know. Believe it or not, I do have something like a filter on what I say.

[honestlyrubbish]

Consider this your repayment for the things you said to me yesterday.

What could you possibly be trying to keep me from learning, anyway?

[the_wheezy]

Bollocks.

Enough, I suppose. Or maybe it's... Not really anything I don't want you to know, or maybe even anything you don't already know, but... Well, I'm sure there are some things, but I'm not hiding a whole lot, really. It's just a matter of abstaining from saying things, I guess.

Can I get away with telling you not to worry about it?

[honestlyrubbish]

Rattling off your conscious train of thought isn't really going to distract me from whatever it is that you're hiding, Ron, but nice try.

And no, you can't.

[the_wheezy]

This whole conversation is just going to be a constant train of thought, Hermione, because that's basically what's happening.

Alright, though. Um. Do your worst?

[honestlyrubbish]

Slowed down to how quickly your fingers can type, I suppose.

What is it that you're abstaining from telling me?

1/2

[the_wheezy]

Nothing in particular, really. I'm not really abstaining, I think. It's just a matter of opportunity or necessity.

Like for this whole thing, I could say something about how I normally wouldn't say anything horrible about you or to you, because you mean a good deal to me. I'm sure I've never said anything like that properly. But... Well, I could hope that you know it, at least.

[the_wheezy]

[And somewhere, there is a head-desk happening.]