(no subject)
Finally, it looks like the heat wave that's smothered Toronto for the past two weeks is going to break. As I was sitting here in the library, I heard a low rumble that piqued my interest enough to look up to the ceiling's tinted windows, and praise be, there was water cascading down them. For about half an hour thereafter there was steady thunder and lightning, and torrential sheets of rain obscuring my view of the park in the distance. I've seen much more gloriously violent thunderstorms before, ones that I'd sit out on the porch to watch from start to finish, whereas this time I didn't even poke my nose outside to feel or smell the change in the weather. But beggars can't be choosers, and better a brief, middling spring downpour than nothing at all. The air should now start to clear of the grimy shroud of smog and the stifling humidity, and temperatures are forecast to drop down to within the seasonal range, starting on Wednesday. This change in the weather can't come too soon for me, nor, I suspect, for some of my friends, particlarly those who don't have air-conditioning. A few degrees hotter last Saturday night and perhaps the typically modest Thorncliffe Park furries and friends might have sacrificed modesty for comfort. Yeah, right. ;)
Besides watching the weather and hoping for it to turn cooler, I've been thinking about the possibility of my going out to search for part-time employment. I have to admit that most of the impetus behind any job search I'll do nowadays comes from my parents, although having an income of my own is a motivator as well. But a number of things makes me hestitate, and none of them can be easily dismissed. First, I haven't done any paid work in over three years, and on top of that I think I have only one remaining viable reference: an English teacher who taught me for one two-month term more than two years ago. Although this time around I would have my high school diploma to put on my résumé, I fear that the other two facts would more than negate that asset in any job application I might submit, meaning that I'm probably qualified for only unskilled, menial labour.
This problem segues nicely into my next one, which is that I absolutely fucking LOATHE doing unskilled, menial labour, or at that which isn't personally gratifying. I've worked a total of one year as a busboy, two months as a graveyard shift cashier, and two months as a graveyard shift factory worker. That's enough of such experience for a lifetime, as far as I'm concerned. I hated the servility, boredom, and low wages of those jobs. It's these bad memories of doing that kind of work that have been my primary demotivation from searching for employment again. If I had some confidence that I could be hired to perform at least semi-skilled clerical work on a part-time basis, I wouldn't even think twice about taking time out to do a job search and undergoing interviews. I quite liked being an intern clerk in the Canada Customs and Revenue Agency, even though as such I was being paid the minimum wage, because it let me use some of my reading and writing skills, and because I didn't have to bow and scrape to customers. Alas, as I've noted above, my lack of recent work experience, in addition to my limited Microsoft Office skills and requirement that I work part-time hours, effectively rule out all clerical jobs.
My last reservation about getting a job centres on my worry about how it could affect my academic performance. One of my friends from abroad, one who recently graduated from university with a bachelor's degree, spent his entire university career working full time as well as studying full time. It's admirable, yes, but I'm fairly sure that his grades suffered significantly because the extra burden of his full-time job left him without the time and energy necessary to polish his essays and fully review his material. Now, he may have done well enough to graduate from his university, but I'm still seeking to be admitted to a university, and what with the schools that I have chosen to apply to, the final marks on my high school transcript will have to exceed a rather high threshold in order any one of them to accept me. Not to mention that my personal standard has been to pass every course with a final mark of at least 90%, regardless of the subject matter. Therefore I'm wary of making any substantial time commitment that could take me away from my studies and possibly leave me too tired to concentrate on them afterward. The fact that moving on to post-secondary education has been the foremost goal in my mind for the past three years, and that it has been thwarted and postponed three times to date, makes realising that goal (i.e. studying) all the more imperative.
I will probably perform a cursory search of Human Resources Development Canada's Job Bank over the next few days on the off chance that there actually is suitable and agreeable employment available. What I really hope for, however, is that with the arrival of my first marks for my four current courses, my parents with be satisfied enough with the results to slacken their pressure on me to find a job and allow me to continue studying relatively undisturbed. Only after I've received an offer of admission to begin university studies in September of 2006 will I feel totally at ease about taking on a job.
Besides watching the weather and hoping for it to turn cooler, I've been thinking about the possibility of my going out to search for part-time employment. I have to admit that most of the impetus behind any job search I'll do nowadays comes from my parents, although having an income of my own is a motivator as well. But a number of things makes me hestitate, and none of them can be easily dismissed. First, I haven't done any paid work in over three years, and on top of that I think I have only one remaining viable reference: an English teacher who taught me for one two-month term more than two years ago. Although this time around I would have my high school diploma to put on my résumé, I fear that the other two facts would more than negate that asset in any job application I might submit, meaning that I'm probably qualified for only unskilled, menial labour.
This problem segues nicely into my next one, which is that I absolutely fucking LOATHE doing unskilled, menial labour, or at that which isn't personally gratifying. I've worked a total of one year as a busboy, two months as a graveyard shift cashier, and two months as a graveyard shift factory worker. That's enough of such experience for a lifetime, as far as I'm concerned. I hated the servility, boredom, and low wages of those jobs. It's these bad memories of doing that kind of work that have been my primary demotivation from searching for employment again. If I had some confidence that I could be hired to perform at least semi-skilled clerical work on a part-time basis, I wouldn't even think twice about taking time out to do a job search and undergoing interviews. I quite liked being an intern clerk in the Canada Customs and Revenue Agency, even though as such I was being paid the minimum wage, because it let me use some of my reading and writing skills, and because I didn't have to bow and scrape to customers. Alas, as I've noted above, my lack of recent work experience, in addition to my limited Microsoft Office skills and requirement that I work part-time hours, effectively rule out all clerical jobs.
My last reservation about getting a job centres on my worry about how it could affect my academic performance. One of my friends from abroad, one who recently graduated from university with a bachelor's degree, spent his entire university career working full time as well as studying full time. It's admirable, yes, but I'm fairly sure that his grades suffered significantly because the extra burden of his full-time job left him without the time and energy necessary to polish his essays and fully review his material. Now, he may have done well enough to graduate from his university, but I'm still seeking to be admitted to a university, and what with the schools that I have chosen to apply to, the final marks on my high school transcript will have to exceed a rather high threshold in order any one of them to accept me. Not to mention that my personal standard has been to pass every course with a final mark of at least 90%, regardless of the subject matter. Therefore I'm wary of making any substantial time commitment that could take me away from my studies and possibly leave me too tired to concentrate on them afterward. The fact that moving on to post-secondary education has been the foremost goal in my mind for the past three years, and that it has been thwarted and postponed three times to date, makes realising that goal (i.e. studying) all the more imperative.
I will probably perform a cursory search of Human Resources Development Canada's Job Bank over the next few days on the off chance that there actually is suitable and agreeable employment available. What I really hope for, however, is that with the arrival of my first marks for my four current courses, my parents with be satisfied enough with the results to slacken their pressure on me to find a job and allow me to continue studying relatively undisturbed. Only after I've received an offer of admission to begin university studies in September of 2006 will I feel totally at ease about taking on a job.