(no subject)
what the hell is happening to me?
i used to consider myself a decent person, and i suddenly turned into this major bitch no one wants to be around. i can't even stop it. everyone hates me, and who can blame them? i hate me too. every night i go to sleep i hope i never wake up, because then people wouldn't have to deal with me.
can i apologize? i'm a bitch for jumping to conclusions. i don't hate you. i hate myself, and all these emotions (which are coming from some place i don't even know, and that's what is scaring me) are manifesting themselves in really negative ways. I look at next year, tomorrow, even five minutes from now and I see nothing. I don't see myself doing anything. I don't see myself being successful at anything I do. When I look at others who have a direction, or even those who have no direction but can make the best of it, and i'm fill with this huge amount of anger and hatred for myself. the only way i know how to deal with it right now is by being alone. i push everyone away, and i doubt that's the best thing, but i have nothing else right now. when i say i want you to leave me alone, its not cause i hate you. i really need to sort out myself right now, and complicating things otherwise is gonna make me explode.
I'm really sorry, I don't blame you for hating me.
i used to consider myself a decent person, and i suddenly turned into this major bitch no one wants to be around. i can't even stop it. everyone hates me, and who can blame them? i hate me too. every night i go to sleep i hope i never wake up, because then people wouldn't have to deal with me.
can i apologize? i'm a bitch for jumping to conclusions. i don't hate you. i hate myself, and all these emotions (which are coming from some place i don't even know, and that's what is scaring me) are manifesting themselves in really negative ways. I look at next year, tomorrow, even five minutes from now and I see nothing. I don't see myself doing anything. I don't see myself being successful at anything I do. When I look at others who have a direction, or even those who have no direction but can make the best of it, and i'm fill with this huge amount of anger and hatred for myself. the only way i know how to deal with it right now is by being alone. i push everyone away, and i doubt that's the best thing, but i have nothing else right now. when i say i want you to leave me alone, its not cause i hate you. i really need to sort out myself right now, and complicating things otherwise is gonna make me explode.
I'm really sorry, I don't blame you for hating me.