Blessing with a side of "shitbags"
I feel like I am always complaining.... I hope it doesn't come across that way as I DO really love my life- it's just that I am often surrounded by shit bags.
First the positive points of life at the moment.... The husband and I don't have allot of money. It's taken us along time to save up the little bit that we have but we try to make it a habit of outing "X" amount of dollars away every month (I say "X" because I don't really know the amount and I assume it changes up with what ever we might be saving towards). But we do have enough money for me to buy the occasional skin care product or get a massage and there isn't much that the husband denies me. When something breaks (currently the printer), we are able to go out and replace it. We don't live extravagantly.
Currently we are saving to get my husband a new car. His old car isn't in bad shape but it's old and he has wanted a new car for some time. We have taken great care of his old car and have been looking forward to trading it in, along with money saved, towards the new car. That is until my niece recently had a car accident and totaled her car.
First and foremost, we are grateful that she is fine. I was there on hand the second they rolled her into the ER. And over the past few weeks as she has healed, I have felt horrible for her to be stuck in the position of asking for help from everyone to get to the places she needs to be. I seriously thought my sister (her mother) would step up and replace the car. Why, you might ask,... because they have a second child who is a drug dealer, who has never held down a job, whom they have had to call the police on several times when he has threatened their lives, a son who recently forced them to move out of the home they were renting because he refused to leave & the police couldn't make him since they didn't own the home- it was easier to move and leave him behind in the house & continue paying the rent there then to ask the home owners to serve him with eviction papers. This son they have purchased 3 cars in the past 4 years, all of which he has totaled (not to count the cars he has stolen or his dad's car which he also totaled). So when it comes to their daughter who has a job and a baby, one would think they would step up and do what they could to help her.... but they haven't.
In the past 6 months my dad has suffered from mental illness and my mum can barely leave him alone by himself as he starts having a panic attack and yet each day she has to step out to pick my niece up at the home she is living at to take her to and from work and baby sit her child and all these things cause my dad to have a breakdown. My sister does NOTHING to help.
Knowing that it would help everyone in the family and solve a shit load of problems, the husband and I talked and decided it would be best suited to pass our old car on to my niece rather than trade it in. I didn't want my sister to feel like we were stepping on her toes and make her look like the worlds shittiest parent for doing nothing for one child while favoring the bad one, we thought it best to include them in on the "gift". There were a few minor repairs that needed to be made to the old car in order to assure my niece has a fully functioning car that wont need repairs as soon as we handed it off to her- New breaks, a tune up and the timing. To take it to a shop for these items would be about $900 tops. So I called my sister, excited to tell her the news and see if she would be willing to pick up the cost in order to be in on the gift. We would donate the car, all she had to do was pay for the tune up. The one thing I know best about my sister is she is a cheap arse. When our drier broke down years ago and she had a spare, they wouldn't just give it to us, nor would they sell it to us at a cheaper rate- instead they offered to sell it to us at the full cost of a brand new drier... we turned them down. I figured if ANYTHING they would jump at the chance to give a gift that was really costing them almost nothing in comparison with buying their daughter a second car. Instead the call I got back from her took the joy right out of the moment.
They would pay for the repairs but only AFTER they sat down with my niece and informed her that from here on out she would be responsible for paying her own insurance (after they promised her they would pay for it for a year just recently). Plus they wanted to talk to her about how she should speak to her boyfriends mother and boyfriend and demand more from them (even though she is staying there rent free). They also wanted the niece to pay them back for the money they put into these repairs! "That's not the point," I explained again, "the point is to give her the car as a GIFT. plus it's to help our parents out as they can't keep driving her to and from work!" Then I got a lecture on how much money she has had to spend on her own daughter over the years! Who has a child and expects them to pay back the cost for the food and clothing you give them over the course of their life time? Who doesn't want to help out their own child? The thing that REALLY pissed me off is how she tried to give me this sob story about how they can't afford to own a house and can only rent now when I was there when they had the discussion on selling their house and renting until the market came back down? And she went on to tell me how poor they were and how they filed for bankruptcy when I watched them just go out and buy TWO new matching hybrid cars. She even had the nerve to take my niece out with her under the guise of "lets spend the day together" and had her sit and wait while she got Botox injections at $100 a pop, all the while telling her how she had no money. How is it that I could have such a selfish sister????
I felt like crap knowing that my poor niece would have to endure a lecture from my sister all in order for us to give her a new car. It wasn't right. I told the husband about my new dilemma. "That's a bunch of crap! Fuck them! We will do it all on our own." that made me so proud to hear that from him! I don't like the thought that we are going to be the ones paying for my parents as they get old as they have nothing to cover their cost and now on top of that we are paying to raise my sister's child and I feel horrible for dropping my families problems on my husband. But I am uber blessed when he tells me that family is what's important and that he would rather we be poor and share with family then rich and rude like my sister! I am glad it is not an option for him either, that he too feels strongly about helping out my family.
So I lie to my sister in a text and tell her we have changed our mind and decided to keep the car. It's easier than having to deal with her. ANd then I call my niece with the good news. She is dumbfounded and cries. She thanks me for always being there for her, always taking care of her and for looking out for her. Then she tells me how she has been saving for months now and says it now makes since why her dad called her today to talk to her about "loaning" her $900 that she hadn't asked for and how he wanted to have a "talk" about "responsibility". I now have to explain the whole situation to her and tell her NOT to mention the car to her parents until after she has it from us. After that I don't care what her parents have to say. She asks me if we can sit down and go over car insurance with her as she doesn't know anything about it and her parents just dropped it on her (sure... anything she has questions about, we are here). She ask if my husband and I want to sit down and have a talk with her about responsibility too. I laugh and tell her no... there are no strings attached to the car... it's her car so long as she takes care of it and isn't to allow anyone else to drive it. She is so excited she cries and then tells me how she will take care of us in our old age, "I will push your wheel chair around and change your diapers, And I will even brush what hair you have left .. thank you!" so THIS is what it is like to have children. Now I know.
And it's nice to be good people. My sister has no idea what she is missing out on.
First the positive points of life at the moment.... The husband and I don't have allot of money. It's taken us along time to save up the little bit that we have but we try to make it a habit of outing "X" amount of dollars away every month (I say "X" because I don't really know the amount and I assume it changes up with what ever we might be saving towards). But we do have enough money for me to buy the occasional skin care product or get a massage and there isn't much that the husband denies me. When something breaks (currently the printer), we are able to go out and replace it. We don't live extravagantly.
Currently we are saving to get my husband a new car. His old car isn't in bad shape but it's old and he has wanted a new car for some time. We have taken great care of his old car and have been looking forward to trading it in, along with money saved, towards the new car. That is until my niece recently had a car accident and totaled her car.
First and foremost, we are grateful that she is fine. I was there on hand the second they rolled her into the ER. And over the past few weeks as she has healed, I have felt horrible for her to be stuck in the position of asking for help from everyone to get to the places she needs to be. I seriously thought my sister (her mother) would step up and replace the car. Why, you might ask,... because they have a second child who is a drug dealer, who has never held down a job, whom they have had to call the police on several times when he has threatened their lives, a son who recently forced them to move out of the home they were renting because he refused to leave & the police couldn't make him since they didn't own the home- it was easier to move and leave him behind in the house & continue paying the rent there then to ask the home owners to serve him with eviction papers. This son they have purchased 3 cars in the past 4 years, all of which he has totaled (not to count the cars he has stolen or his dad's car which he also totaled). So when it comes to their daughter who has a job and a baby, one would think they would step up and do what they could to help her.... but they haven't.
In the past 6 months my dad has suffered from mental illness and my mum can barely leave him alone by himself as he starts having a panic attack and yet each day she has to step out to pick my niece up at the home she is living at to take her to and from work and baby sit her child and all these things cause my dad to have a breakdown. My sister does NOTHING to help.
Knowing that it would help everyone in the family and solve a shit load of problems, the husband and I talked and decided it would be best suited to pass our old car on to my niece rather than trade it in. I didn't want my sister to feel like we were stepping on her toes and make her look like the worlds shittiest parent for doing nothing for one child while favoring the bad one, we thought it best to include them in on the "gift". There were a few minor repairs that needed to be made to the old car in order to assure my niece has a fully functioning car that wont need repairs as soon as we handed it off to her- New breaks, a tune up and the timing. To take it to a shop for these items would be about $900 tops. So I called my sister, excited to tell her the news and see if she would be willing to pick up the cost in order to be in on the gift. We would donate the car, all she had to do was pay for the tune up. The one thing I know best about my sister is she is a cheap arse. When our drier broke down years ago and she had a spare, they wouldn't just give it to us, nor would they sell it to us at a cheaper rate- instead they offered to sell it to us at the full cost of a brand new drier... we turned them down. I figured if ANYTHING they would jump at the chance to give a gift that was really costing them almost nothing in comparison with buying their daughter a second car. Instead the call I got back from her took the joy right out of the moment.
They would pay for the repairs but only AFTER they sat down with my niece and informed her that from here on out she would be responsible for paying her own insurance (after they promised her they would pay for it for a year just recently). Plus they wanted to talk to her about how she should speak to her boyfriends mother and boyfriend and demand more from them (even though she is staying there rent free). They also wanted the niece to pay them back for the money they put into these repairs! "That's not the point," I explained again, "the point is to give her the car as a GIFT. plus it's to help our parents out as they can't keep driving her to and from work!" Then I got a lecture on how much money she has had to spend on her own daughter over the years! Who has a child and expects them to pay back the cost for the food and clothing you give them over the course of their life time? Who doesn't want to help out their own child? The thing that REALLY pissed me off is how she tried to give me this sob story about how they can't afford to own a house and can only rent now when I was there when they had the discussion on selling their house and renting until the market came back down? And she went on to tell me how poor they were and how they filed for bankruptcy when I watched them just go out and buy TWO new matching hybrid cars. She even had the nerve to take my niece out with her under the guise of "lets spend the day together" and had her sit and wait while she got Botox injections at $100 a pop, all the while telling her how she had no money. How is it that I could have such a selfish sister????
I felt like crap knowing that my poor niece would have to endure a lecture from my sister all in order for us to give her a new car. It wasn't right. I told the husband about my new dilemma. "That's a bunch of crap! Fuck them! We will do it all on our own." that made me so proud to hear that from him! I don't like the thought that we are going to be the ones paying for my parents as they get old as they have nothing to cover their cost and now on top of that we are paying to raise my sister's child and I feel horrible for dropping my families problems on my husband. But I am uber blessed when he tells me that family is what's important and that he would rather we be poor and share with family then rich and rude like my sister! I am glad it is not an option for him either, that he too feels strongly about helping out my family.
So I lie to my sister in a text and tell her we have changed our mind and decided to keep the car. It's easier than having to deal with her. ANd then I call my niece with the good news. She is dumbfounded and cries. She thanks me for always being there for her, always taking care of her and for looking out for her. Then she tells me how she has been saving for months now and says it now makes since why her dad called her today to talk to her about "loaning" her $900 that she hadn't asked for and how he wanted to have a "talk" about "responsibility". I now have to explain the whole situation to her and tell her NOT to mention the car to her parents until after she has it from us. After that I don't care what her parents have to say. She asks me if we can sit down and go over car insurance with her as she doesn't know anything about it and her parents just dropped it on her (sure... anything she has questions about, we are here). She ask if my husband and I want to sit down and have a talk with her about responsibility too. I laugh and tell her no... there are no strings attached to the car... it's her car so long as she takes care of it and isn't to allow anyone else to drive it. She is so excited she cries and then tells me how she will take care of us in our old age, "I will push your wheel chair around and change your diapers, And I will even brush what hair you have left .. thank you!" so THIS is what it is like to have children. Now I know.
And it's nice to be good people. My sister has no idea what she is missing out on.