Make the world go away...
I'm at odds with all my feelings as in the past 12 hours I think I have finally hit maximum over load.
I'm bipolar and as of late I have run out of my medications. At first I didn't worry too much about it as I work in a hospital. I figured if it came down to the worse case scenario of not getting an appointment on time to get my refill, I would just ask one of the doctors I work for to write me one while I waited for my real appointment. Who would have guessed that once I DID run out of them, insecurity would settle back in as quickly as it did and I am too fearful to inconvenience any of my docs for that damn refill. UGHHH -So I have been working for the last month without my meds to hold my emotions in check and during this time these are the issues that have been flung at me...
A: My niece, who has always been scared of driving, got in a car accident and totaled out her car. I felt horrible for her. She is such a sweetheart that her first thought about the car accident was that it occurred on my mum's b day and she was worried it ruined my mum's day. My mum petty much raised my niece- my sister (though I love her) has always been a very selfish person and tired of my niece once she was no longer the cute little baby/ doll she could dress up and take out for show and tell. Raven has just started her first real job and had a baby all in what should have been her senior year of high-school. She is trying very hard to take care of things on her own and had just purchased a new baby car seat. I guess after an accident even if the baby seat is fine, you can no longer use it. With no car, my mum has been picking Raven up and taking her to work. Though Raven's Boyfriend has a car, he is finishing out his senior year and working part time so he doesn't help out as much as anyone would like. For Poor Raven it was like starting over at square one... she would have to buy a new car seat and start saving for another car.
(This REALLY pisses me off as my sister & her husband have the money to buy her another car- in fact they have bought their son - who is a drug dealer and has never held a real job down- 3 cars in the past 2 years after he totaled every one of them in DUI's. He even went so far as to steal his dad's car and crash that one. They won't even help her buy a new car seat. They don't help out with baby sitting or rides to get Raven to work or the baby's doctor's appointments)
B:My mum has a bad back. She has had it for years now. Not only is she driving Raven to work every day but she is also baby sitting and adult man sitting (pops). In the past week her back gave out to serious pain while she was out at the store.
C: II wrote about my pops and his mental issues in my last post here so you're probably aware that I just took him to a doctors appointment to get him on new meds. We can't leave him home alone as he gets serious anxiety so I feel sorry for my mum trying to balance all these things at one time. The new meds have just starting to seep into Pops system and I was trying to decide if they might be working when my mum called me today at work....
D. "Raven has been in a car accident" at first I thought it was Deja Vu... could it be that it was an old VM and I was just now getting it? Nope... it was a "live" pone call. "She should be arriving in the ER there at your hospital right now. I'm on my way over but can you go down and be with her until I Get there?" my mum ask. Of course... it was a no brainer. Raven is my best buddy!
I arrived just as they were wheeling her in. She appeared okay apart from the fact that she was holding a large towel packed in ice to her eye. It must have been scary for her to be hustled off in an ambulance and arrive in the hospital alone. I let her know I was right there beside her as she couldn't open her eyes. I brushed the few specks of black pebbles (asphalt) from her shoulders and got her checked in before asking what happened. She wasn't too sure. " Diego (boyfriend) and I just took the baby to a doctors appointment and were on our way home. We were talking and suddenly I woke up to my ears ringing." a car had run the inner section and hit them on the drivers side so hard that the car spun and both air bags deployed. Though its good that Diegos car has air bags, it was bad in the fact that she was here Because of the air bag. When it opened it did so with such force that it blew out the side window and burned her face. Now the doctors were worried she might have glass in her eye.
My hospital SUCKS. Though she came in by ambulance, they made her sit and wait in the waiting room. They wouldn't get to her for over 5 hours and it wasn't even like the place was crowded! I don't have children but I got a taste of what it must have been like growing up when my mum had to sit with me in the ER. "I'm in pain... help me! Can you do something?" she kept asking me and I felt so helpless as there was NOTHING I could do. The poor thing hadn't eaten all day and they told her she couldn't have anything until after they saw her. Plus she had to sit there in the dark as she couldn't open her eyes to see what was going on. Diego was back at the car accident scene with the baby and everyone else was fine apart from bruises. The brand new baby car seat Raven bought this week...wasted yet again. Now neither she nor Diego would have a car to get around in. My mum arrived an hour into the wait and the nurses stated that I couldn't have the baby with us when they took Raven back so I took him with me to a friend on the 2nd floor (who is a baby whisperer) In the end Raven had no glass in her eye however it is badly scratched. 10 hours later and she is STILL at the hospital as I post this.
My doctors appointment is on Friday and it can't get here soon enough.