Neighbor Vent
I hate that there is nothing I can do to help the woman next door. At the same time I know its in my best interest not to get involved at all.
I heard her crying in the back yard while she was on the phone talking to someone. She had said that her husband hadnt been home in days and that when she talked to him about the over due bills he didnt seem to care. "I know it's because of the drugs." The minute she said this I knew EXACTLY how she was feeling.
'The abuser" did drugs. It had started out mild with Pot and somewhere along the lines it got worse. But I won't know exactly what he was into until I agreed to live with him. Hell I was engaged to this man and yet I hadnt a clue that he did these things until I was wrapped up in our inner twining lives. I have so much to say about the abuse I suffered but I'm getting off subject slightly, thhis isnt about my life.
I hear her telling the person on the phone how its time she learned to move on. for her sake and their kids. Her biggest fear was going on in life being a 30 something woman with 2 kids and having to date again and start all over. I wanted to pipe up from my side of the fence and tell her no matter how difficult it would be, it would be well worth it, but I didn't want to admit that I had listened to her conversation. There was no way I could have escaped hearing it . She was loud, its natural for the ear to alert when you hear someone crying , and she was in direct line with my opened office window. "I'm not going to give him any excuses to come back here... no, I'm gonna to tell him he has one day to get his things out and then I will file the paperwork for divorce."
In the first few days following that call her children were playing nicely outside and she was involved in what they were doing. I actually heard the kids laughing for a change and the one kid (The exersist child who only speaks in a linda Blair tone) was normal. It was amazing. Then mid week I started getting this sick feeling. This afternoon when I got home it was back to the children crying followed by the father yelling at them. Each time he raised his voice the children cried harder. Then I heard the mum yelling at the children as well.
It absolutely kills me that this woman changes and turns her back on the children when he is there. I can already see how these children (who are of the ages between 8 and 3) are already on the path to a distructiive life. The oldest (a girl) is so silent that I forget she is there. When I do see her outside in the front yard it is only to see her looking down and darting inside. The 2 younger boys do not play normally. The 'games' they play are the older one yelling at the younger one exactly has his dad yells at them. "STOP. Get off my yard, stop touching my things" and the volume of these boys is earsplitting. I know for a fact we never played that loudly. The one boy has thrown rocks at the birds or cats on the fence while yelling "dont touch my fence". The rocks hit my house with a solid thud.
How can it be that people choose to be parents and yet they remain blind to how they areraising their children? How is it that some parents think that if they feed and cloth their kids this makes them a good parent but they have no concept of spending time with them and that the child is learning from watching how the parents act or react to each other? On one hand I feel sorry for the woman but on the other hand I now know that she isnt blind to these things. She has willing choosen to put herself before her children. UGHHH this kills me. Specially when there are people like me in the world that cant have children.
thats all... just wanted to vent.